#5soscalm

Marina chuckled at his response as she walked over to the passenger door. She was about to grab the handle but Ashton beat her to it, opening the door and gesturing for her to step inside with a little bow.

"Why thank you, sir," she replied, teasingly blowing him a kiss.

As she settled into the passenger seat, her gaze floated over the interior. Sure, the leather was cracked and the wooden dashboard had a variety of chips and gouges, but it had character. Marina found herself appreciating it, a lot more now than if she had seen it a couple months ago.

Ashton noticed her watchful eye, and quickly spoke up. "I know it's not your Range Rover, but-

"It's perfect," she smiled, leaning forwards to run her fingers over the dashboard.

He gave her a small nod and smiled, turning the keys and causing the engine to roar to life.

She looked over at the door, thinking that the air running through her hair would be perfect right about now, but instead she stared perplexedly at the wood panelling. Absent were the normal switches for the windows.

"It's this one," Ashton said, reaching across her lap to touch the spinning handle. In this close proximity, she noticed that his usual smell of leather and cigarettes had gained a new underlying hint of sandalwood and another undeterminable scent. The fact that he'd put on a little bit of cologne for their date made the outer corners of her lips tweak up into a smile.

"What?" Ashton asked, once he'd resumed his normal position, watching her out of the corner of his eye.

"Nothing," she smiled, shaking her head. "I just think you're adorable."

He giggled - full-out giggled - and readjusted his grip on the steering wheel. "Now that's not something I get often."

They both laughed, and then sat in comfortable silence for a little while.

"Can I turn on the music?" Marina asked, as they turned down a quiet country road.

"Sure. But I have to warn you, the radio only picks up one station and it's all country, all the time."

Marina laughed and turned the volume dial up. The sound of a twangy guitar and southern accent immediately filled the cabin. She looked over to Ashton again and smiled, putting her arm out the window and moving it along to the beat, wind whipping through her fingertips.

---

They drove until Marina had no idea where they were. Eventually Ashton pulled off the gravel road, the truck chugging along merrily until he cut the engine and it sputtered to a stop in a field of tall grass. Marina looked around at the tall stalks growing wild, swinging freely in the wind. They had to be the only ones around for miles.

"Ashton where are we?" she asked in slight confusion. He hadn't told her what the plan was for their date, but she assumed it would be at a restaurant in town somewhere.

"Our date," he replied with a smile, pocketing the keys and jumping out of the truck.

Marina chuckled lightly, and opened the door, stepping out of the passenger side. She followed Ashton to the back of the truck, and watched as he pulled the tailgate down to reveal an array of blankets and pillows, with a picnic basket in the middle.

"Voila," he gestured to the setup, leaning casually against the side of the truck.

Marina couldn't help the smile on her face. "Aww this is cute," she cooed, "You've really outdone yourself, Ash."

He looked over at her and smiled, taking her hand to help her up into the back of the truck.

"It's beautiful out here," Marina said as she looked around. The sun was just beginning to set, casting a faint orangey-purple hue over everything it touched.

"I know right. I come here to think sometimes, and I think it's so peaceful. I wanted to show it to you."

"Well thank you for sharing it, I really appreciate it."

"I know there's some stuff you don't know about me yet, I know I can be guarded, but I want you to know that I'm really trying to let you in."

The conversation flowed easily between the two of them, even the pauses were comfortable. After one particularly longer silence, Ashton spoke up in a slightly different tone.

"Sometimes I can't.... sleep," he confessed quietly, staring off into the distance, eyes closing slightly in reflex as the setting sun poured out towards them.

Marina looked up at him, raising her head off his chest. "Why not?" she asked gently, lacing their fingers together.

He leaned down to rest his cheek on the top of her head, and was silent for a little while. She rubbed gentle circles into the scarred skin on the palm of his hand.

"I've just been thinking a lot… especially recently."

"What about?" she asked.

He let out a small sigh, a puff of air that reverberated off her ear.

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want."

His other arm snaked around from its casual position resting against the side of the truck, to pull her closer to him. He was silent for a little while longer. "About you," he said softly. "About… us." She was still, kept silent, waiting to see if he would elaborate. She could hear the smile in his voice but it was tinged with something else.

She felt him shake his head. "I'm not a good person, Mar."

"Yes, you-"

"I sell people coke. I get people addicted to it and ruin their lives. I'm like, shittiest person of the year. I profit off other people's misery, just to give them an escape from reality for a couple hours -  do you know how much that eats me up inside all the time? But this is the only thing I have, the only thing I'm any good at. And I can't just stop, the boys rely on me running all of this. What would they do? They need the money for their families just like I need it for mine. And the thought that…" he trailed off, looking away into the fields.

After a few moments of silence, he spoke up again. "It's different now.  I always knew I'd be able to take care of myself, but I forgot about the fact that maybe one day I'd want to share my life with someone else. Someone who deserved better. And now I'm thinking maybe I made the wrong choice, but at the same time I can't abandon the Dragons, they're my brothers."

"Have you talked to them about this?"

"No," he shook his head. "There's never really time, when we're all together. And I don't wanna… they look to me for advice, how can I just bail on them? And what would I even do?" he sighed. "This is all I know."

"You're good at a lot of things, Ash. You're an incredible businessman, and leader. That can transfer into a lot of different areas, if you ever need it to."

"You think?" he asked. She reach a hand up to brush softly against his cheek. She'd never seen this side of him, so vulnerable, almost insecure.

"Fuck, I'm sorry," he said after a moment, clearing his throat and shifting position, covering himself back up again.

"No, hey don't be sorry," she said, turning over to look him in the eyes, trying to convey the sincerity of her words. "It's important to talk about this kind of stuff. I really appreciate you opening up to me."

He gave her a soft smile and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm so glad I have you," he said, snuggling further against her.

"Me too," she whispered softly.

"I love you," she said, looking out into the field of glowing, golden grass. She looked up at him. He was watching her, blinking through weary, tear-filled eyes, a glimmer of hope shimmering beneath the surface.

"I love you too," he said softly, breathing deeply into her hair and closing his eyes. "So fucking much."

"And you're not a bad person, Ash. You're a good person who fell into bad circumstances. You have such a good heart, deep down in there," she said, poking his chest gently. "I know hiding it is the only way to survive in this town. But I've seen it, I know it exists."

---

Ashton slept over that night, and in the morning Marina awoke to the other side of the bed empty. Confused, she sat up, and saw a note on the bedside table.

I woke up early and you looked so adorable I didn't wanna wake you. I'm just next door with the guys, come over when you're awake :) - Ash

Marina looked out the window, watching the guys chatting away and working on their motorcycles in the driveway. She didn't want to be too quick to rush down there, they looked like they were having a great time just chatting, listening to some classic rock music, and tinkering away on their cars and motorcycles. Marina smiled. The Dragons truly were like a brotherhood. A couple minutes later, a black suv pulled up, parking across the driveway. Marina supposed someone was coming to pick up a delivery. The boys must have assumed that too, as the three of them continued on, with Calum putting down his wrench and casually making his way towards the vehicle. Suddenly, four people in police uniforms and bulletproof vests jumped out. Calum took a couple steps backwards, surprised. He yelled something to the guys, who immediately dropped what they're doing.

Marina couldn't hear exactly what was going on, but two of the officers advanced quickly down the driveway, the other two standing guard near the vehicle in case reinforcements were needed. Marina's heart thudded in her throat. What was going on?!

The police officer yelled something again, and Ashton moved to place both hands behind his head, demonstrating that he wasn't armed and wouldn't put up a fight. Marina saw the reflection of stainless steel from one of the officer's pockets and each of the two officers grabbed one of Ashton's hands, pulling them down behind his back and clamping the cuffs on.

Marina flew outside to the porch, hands grasping the newly stained wood banister, the same one that Ashton had placed his bouquet of flowers near what now felt like a lifetime ago. It took everything in her not to run down the stairs and demand to know what was going on, try to pull Ashton away from the officers, but she knew she couldn't. As far as everyone else in town knew, she had nothing to do with the Westbrook Dragons.

From her new vantage point she could see and hear the unfolding events even better. One voice stuck out on the driveway, the loud and booming one of the police officer who was leading Ashton away.

"Ashton Irwin, you are under arrest for assault causing bodily harm. You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to contact a lawyer. Anything you say may be used against you in the court of law."

No no no no. All that was running through Marina's mind in that moment was sheer panic and shock. She tried to call out to him but her voice got stuck in her throat and instead she made a funny, wheezing sound, as if she'd just been punched in the stomach.

One of the officers opened the door to the police car, and the other two led Ashton over. At this moment Ashton scanned his surroundings, turning back towards the house. His eyes locked with hers, dark with defeat but also an underlying defiance. He communicated wordlessly with her, trying to give her a reassuring look that everything would be alright. But he only had seconds before the officer pushed his head down into the car, and slammed the door shut. Then she could only see his silhouette and the black bars across the window. The remaining officers climbed into the suv, gravel crunching underneath the vehicle's tires as it left the driveway, turning onto the main road.

Marina waited until it was safe and the car was just a speck in the distance, then she ran down the stairs to the three boys remaining in the driveway, her rapid footfalls quickly closing the space between them.

"Is he gonna be ok? What's going on?" she asked, tears already streaming down her face.

Both Luke and Michael put their arms around her instantly. She buried her face in the sleeve of Luke's leather jacket.