#5sos l

(afi imagine)

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With fidgeting hands you drove carefully yet fast. You still don’t know what to feel after knowing the biggest news that shocked you. This is another chapter for you and your boyfriend, Ashton. You know that it would shock him too, so you wanted to tell him in person.

You don’t know if this would be a good news for him, or a bad news. You’ve spent almost 7 years with him, yet you still don’t know if he’ll be ready for this. If he would ever accept it.

Sure, you guys have been so in love for the past 7 years, and he supports you on any of your decisions. But you haven’t talked about this one, it never even crossed your mind. Not until this morning.

You parked your car just in front of your shared apartment. You’re almost at the verge of a break down, your heart pounding on your chest, making you not ready for what he would say. Standing in front of the door, you inhaled deeply, mustering all the courage that you have.

You opened the door, anticipating your boyfriend just slacking on the couch, watching a rerun of some TV series that he always watch. But once you entered, the odd silence greeted you. No sign of Ashton anywhere.

Odd, you thought, he didn’t message me that he’d be out.

The squeaking of a wood upstairs caught your attention. You shook your head, why hadn’t it crossed your mind that he would be in your room? You trailed the steps of the stairs fast but with alot of caution. You can’t risk to be so clumsy right now.

“Ashton?” You called out, making sure that it was him.

There was a panicked shuffling inside, but then the door opens, revealing a sweat-covered Ashton. Your brows ticked upwards at the sight of him. He was out of breath, like he was just doing something a while ago. A dirty thought passed your mind, making you mischievously smile. He smiled oddly while he rubs the back of his neck.

But there was something that feels so off. His hair was not the usual bed hair that he has, it was messy, tangled, like someone has been messing with them. The basketball short that he’s wearing hung low on his hips, like how he likes after you guys do the dirty. A sudden tinge of suspicion rose in your heart.

No, that’s just hormones acting

But his eyes are covered with panic and guilt.

The smile on your face fell, and you looked at him questioningly.

He just shrugged and walked towards you, wrapping your body with his muscly arms, nuzzling his nose on the crook of your neck. But annoyance hit you, and you pushed him away, giving him an annoyed look.

His face turned confused, but the sparkle of his eyes didn’t changed.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” He asked.

You shook your head, convincing yourself that you’re just acting like this because of the hormones. “Nothing. I’m just tired.”

“Wanna shower?” He asked, slightly tugging you towards the bathroom. You yanked your arm out of his grasped.

“I don’t wanna shower,” You whined.

“But a good shower beats tiredness, babe.”

You shook your head, and started walking towards the room, “I just wanna sle—Ashton!”

Ashton quickly blocked your way, “The room is a mess, babe, sorry. I didn’t know that you’ll be coming home today.”

“It’s fine, I just wan—”

The door behind him creaks open, revealing a blonde girl who’s wearing only a black shirt, too big for her to be hers. Ashton’s.

Your eyes flicked from the girl to Ashton who looks like he was just busted. His back on you. You fist clenched, making your nails dig on your palm as you saw the faint scratches on Ashton’s back. You glared at the girl, trying to take in her appearance.

But your eyes were focused on the red bruise on the girls neck. Hickey

It felt like heaven has just fallen down on you.

You let out a bitter laugh before you looked at Ashton, his eyes are apologizing, pleading to be heard.

“Big night last night, Irwin?” You sarcastically asked.

The girl, who was completely oblivious a while ago, went inside again. You followed her, willing to break every bit of bone that she has. She grabbed her clothes that are piled up on the floor and immediately went in the bathroom. Locking it close. You kicked the door out of frustration, groaning at the process.

“Babe, it’s not what you think..” Ashton explains.

You lifted your hand as you turn around to face him, your hand stinging as it landed on Ashton’s face with a lot of force, leaving a red mark on his cheek.

“How dare you..” You said in gritted teeth, a lump forming on your throat.

Ashton didn’t look at you, his eyes fell on the floor as he fidgets with his hands.

“I’m sorry..” He said in a soft, almost a whisper, voice. You could sense that he’s trying not to cry.

“7 years, Ashton.” You paced back and forth, “7 fucking years and you just wasted it all..”

“Hear me out, Y/N,” He tried to reach out for your hand but you glared at him, your eyes sending daggers on him, “Please..”

You shook your head, “I can’t believe you..”

“Let me explain.. please..”

You glared at him, letting all of your tears pour down. You walked slowly towards him, you breath heavy with each step.

“Explain?” You whispered, “Wow, okay.. Explain to me how you fucked her senseless! Explain to me how you cheated on me! Explain to me.. how fucking great your life was.. when I was not home.. when you thought I would know nothing about all this..”

“Y/N please, this is all just a stupid mistake..” He tried to caress your cheek but you just slapped him again.

“You should have thought about that before you brought a girl in our apartment.”

Every word that escapes you mouth slaps Ashton in the face, making him feel more guilty of what he did. His face says he’s sorry, but you can’t believe him right now. Not now that your trust was hammered to pieces.

“I am so sorry, Y/N” Tears pour down Ashton’s face, he looks so wrecked and broken. It tears you apart. He kneeled in front of you, his head bowed down causing the tears to drop on the floor, “Im sorry..”

You tried not to look at him, swallowing the lump on your throat. “You should be.”

The door to the bathroom flew open, you rushed forward out of anger and disgust. Grabbing the girl by her arm, you dragged her out of the room and down the stairs, pushing her down half-way. Making the girl stumble at the last steps.

“Leave.” You commanded her, your voice came as deadly as poison. The girl ran out of the apartment, stumbling on her own feet.

Climbing up the stairs, you saw Ashton on top, waiting for you. His eyes a bit red from crying. You walked past him and he trailed after you, still rambling his sorry and explaining himself.

“I was so drunk last night.. I didn’t know what I’m doing, and I was missing you a lot.. I thought she was you and-”

You turn around to face him, “Being drunk and missing me is not an excuse, Irwin.”

“Babe, please..” You shook your head at him, he’s so desperate to bring you back. “I love you so much..”

“If you do love me,” you said, your voice low and full of anger, “There would be a part of you that would realise that you’re making a mistake.. even when you’re drunk.”

Ashton just stood there, frozen on his place. You were right, he did realize what he was doing is a mistake, but he still went on with it. He was only brought back to reality when he saw you pull out a duffel bag on your closet, stuffing it with your clothes and things.

“Wh-what are you doing?” He asked, just staring at you with complete disbelief.

“Leaving.” You spat, continuing what you’re doing.

“No, no..” He grabbed your clothes and placed it back on your closet, everything that you stuffed in he throws back out. “No.. you can’t do this.. you can’t leave me.”

“I can, and I will.”

You zip the bag close so he couldn’t get any more clothes. You were about to pick it up when he grabbed it away from you.

“You can’t leave me.” He said, voice full of authority. His eyes wide with anger.

“Who are you..” You spat, “to tell me what to do? You are nothing to me now, Irwin.”

Ashton dropped the bag, hurt clouded his eyes. Your words are poison to him.

Without any hesitation, you grabbed the bag and left. But just after throwing the bag on the backseat, strong arms were wrapped around you. You can feel his breath on you neck, his tears soaking your shoulder.

“Babe, please..” His voice was just a whisper making your knees weak. “Don’t leave me..”

The tears started to pool your eyes, making your sight blurry. There is a part of you that doesn’t want to go, to give him another chance. But you could not just trust him, even though he is so sorry for his mistakes, even if he begs. Even if you are aching for his touch, for his love.

“Let me go, Ash..”

Sobs escaped his lips, “I can’t. I won’t. I’m not letting you go, Y/N.”

You turned and faced him, burying your head on his chest, inhaling his scent. This would be the last time that you would be able to do this.

“Please, Ash.. Kill me no more.” You beg.

“I’d rather die than lose you, Y/N.” He cupped your face, “I love you so fucking much.. I can’t live without you.. I’d me a mess Y/N.”

“Do you think I could live with you now that you’d broken me?” You said as he rest his forehead on yours, “Ash, i can’t live with you right now.. Not now that I know that the guy I’m willing to take a bullet for would be the one to kill me..”

“No.. please,” He shook his head, trying to make you change your mind. “I love you..”

You kissed his nose, knowing that would calm him down.

“If you do love me..” You looked him in the eye with all the love for him that you have, “let me go..”

He pulled you closer, his arms holding you tightly. The two of you crying on each other’s arms. He freed you after a moment, eyes not meeting yours.

“Go now,” He murmured, looking at your interlaced fingers, “Before I change my mind..”

You kissed his cheek before you entered your car, jabbing the key in the ignition. But before you even started the engine, Ashton came pounding on your window, his eyes full of regret, hurting you even more. You shook your head at him, starting the car engine. Nothing could change your mind.

But before you could leave you heard him shout something that made your heart happy and at the same time left you wrecked.

“I wont give up on us”

The tears that you kept on holding in flooded your cheeks as you drive far away from the guy you love, the guy that was once your world and also the guy who broke your heart to pieces.

You pulled over when your sobs and breathing were uncontrollable. You know that you cant drive in this state, you need to be careful and cautious.

Now that you’re carrying the gift of love that you and Ashton had a fair share in making. You thought this day would turn out good, at least you expected it to be just him being shock with the good or the bad news that you brought.

But it turns out that you’d be the one to be shocked and ruined.

You tried to pull yourself together, you need to be strong. You need to be, for the both of you. You caressed your belly lightly, rubbing it lovingly.

“It’s just us for now little one..”

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Hellooooo!!! So you guys have just read the outcome of my stress 😂. Yes I made a sad story because im sad and i let it all out here. Yes im weird.