So I haven't written about life lately. In summary: it's sucked. Okay, that's not entirely true. But it has been very rough. I've cried at least once a week. I've had some weird dreams. I've taken more naps than I would care to admit. Okay where to begin.... The Sunday after the election Daniel told me to snap out of it and stop pitying myself. I think I needed that. So I tried my hardest to pull myself together and not mope around. I did everything I usually did, hoping I'd be busy enough to be distracted from the pain. That first week after the election was Humans versus Zombies. It was a ton of fun. It served as a very good distraction from the pain, but it didn't numb it in any way. The first Monday of May I sprained my ankle. It was nice to have so many people willing to help me out with anything, and it was definitely nice to just slow down a little bit and not have to go to a whole bunch of activities. It kept me out of the gym for a little bit, which sucked. My body definitely needed exercise. Not exercising and being sad definitely do not go well together. I applied for the SBGE Senator position. I got an interview. I did not get the position. I wasn't really expecting to, but I still had a little bit of hope. I'm tired of hope. Seriously. It just brings disappointment. I've had some great conversations though. I had a really great one with Megan, and with Katie last night when we were camping. It's nice to have people to listen to me without trying to give me any hopeful bs. It's funny, because I've had a lot of fun this past month. I've been camping, been to Beth's, given coffee to the homeless, been to Hall Ball, been to a would-be bonfire, and probably other things I can't remember. I enjoy babysitting, which is nice. But yet I'm still pretty sad. I don't understand. I don't know how to not be sad. Daniel and Julia keep asking me what I'm doing to combat it. I have no idea. I have no idea what I'm doing with regards to anything. I feel like I'm trying to not be sad. But I guess I'm really just trying not to think about it. Whenever I think about it I start to tell myself why I'm not good enough and I know that isn't healthy so I just don't think about it. I did write a note to Danielle the other day and told her that I didn't like her but I wanted to get rid of that. We're going on a one-on-one Thursday. I'm pretty nervous. I really don't like her; I really want to make an effort to change that but I also don't. I guess we'll see what happens. Okay so there's the update. I think that covers the major events and feelings, but my memory hasn't been the best lately. Which happens, of course, every time I'm unhappy... Also, random side note: I got my period this week for the first time since April. But it was super light and weird. I'm pretty sure that the stress and unhappiness have had physiological effects on me...
