#5-8-18

Panther in the garden

Even though the women was going to see Emma in Mexico for Brie's wedding, it still would be nice to see her before hand. It seemed like the redhead was going through a lot and Anna offered to go out for drinks. When the other women agreed, Anna decided to go to the first bar she knew and texted Emma to meet her there. Once arriving, the brunette worse skinny jeans and a tank top with a leather jacket. Siting on a stool at the bar, Anna ordered a beer and took a sip once getting it while waiting for Emma. @iamemmastoney

wow, it's been over a month since I've posted on this depression filled shit hole! Look at me go! Not much has changed since then I just feel like writing a bit to get my feelings out there. I know, what a pathetic person I am. Yesterday wasn't the best day for me because I was casually scrolling though my Insta feed and up pops a picture of Miles Heizer as Alex Standall from 13RW and I fucking lost it. Alex is my favorite character in the show and he was Emily's too. I didn't think he'd be in s2 but here he is fucking with my emotions. You think I'd be excited to see my favorite character in the next season of a show I loved but it ended up causing more heartache and I've been toying with the idea of watching s2 when it comes out because, quite honestly, I'm not sure if I'll be able to. So much has changed since s1 came out and based on the events of s1 and the events of this past year of my life, I don't know how I'll be able to handle this tv show I once loved. Emily and I loved watching s1 together and I don't know how to watch s2 without her. When I saw the promo for s2 with the picture of Alex, I almost closed out of the app to open messenger to tell Emily, I knew she would have been just as excited as I felt for that split second. After realizing what I was about to do, I turned off my phone and sat there for who knows how long crying about seeing a picture for a tv show. Seriously, how pathetic. Then, today I found out about this really cool opportunity for going to L.A. for a week and getting to try my hand at filmmaking. This has honestly been a dream of mine for literally forever and just thinking about the chance to do it makes me so excited. I really want to but I don't want to be disappointed if I don't get it. I have a 7/100s of a chance do the likelihood of actually getting it is slim to none. So why try, right? And then my ssister is putting all of this pressure on me which is not making it any easier to want to do it but of course she doesn't understand that. So here I am left with the decision of if should apply or not and most likely not get it. But then agian, what have I got to lose? If you're reading this, this is goodbye, maybe for now, maybe forever.