I am NOT my hair...part two and closure..
I never envisioned looking myself in the mirror a little over 365 days later, sad that I would be putting my hair away again for the first time in months. If you were to ask me a year ago just how comfortable I was with my au' natural I would've said no, but these days my words and attitude about showcasing my God given hair has changed.
I always joke with some of my friends, that the problem in this world has been the Becky's from elementary school that bounced around the playground locks flowing in the wind, while my knocked knee ashy self, rocked two intricately imperfect placed pig tails, more like poof balls, on the top of my head. As far back as I can remember, I always wished I had Susie or Becky's hair. So when I called my dad up freshman year of college in desperation for a blessing to rock my own Becky...I was absolutely thrilled when he said yes, and my life would be changed forever.
That is until I realized how many times my natural hair journey would stop and restart because I did something horribly wrong to mess with my curl pattern. So after cutting my hair short again for about the 3rd time in 2 years, and seeing my sisters hair flourish and watching natural hair video, after natural hair video, I was done. I had enough, and felt God telling me to do somethingā¦
365 days without a weave...
Here is the link to that post:
http://chasingproverbs.tumblr.com/post/58581028381/i-am-not-my-hair
For me this natural hair decision was incredibly challenging. At the same time I am thankful I took the time to write about the earlier stages of that journey, because without it I wouldn't have realized how much Iāve grown.
Here are some things I have learned:
1) I donāt need to be Solange Knowles or Beyonce to inspire changeā¦In one year I have watched many of my friends who like me have been natural for some time, rock their natural hair for the first time w/o extensions or weaves. Especially when we all live in environments where people don't quite understand the struggle, having the support, encouragement, and honest opinion from a āsistahā was and continues to be a blessing.
2) There will always be haters. Welcome them and ignore them... What struck me the most was the various opinions of certain people. There was positive feedback from some, and not so great feedback from others. I really had to develop a certain level of confidence along with doing my best to ignore negative looks and to refrain from reading into what I thought someone may be insinuating by their constant looks at the top of my head. But that's not to say there weren't moments where someone was a bit too honest. For instance, I had a student once tell me that they one, did not like my hair the way it was and two I looked better with longer hair.
3) My level of professionalism and my natural hair will always be interconnected somehowā¦It is crazy how much something as insignificant as hair plays a huge part in how we see each other. Even as my friends and I venture into the professional world, it is interesting how we actually have to engage in conversations about how to wear our hair to interviews or work, and almost 90% of the time the result or consensus is that we are to not wear our natural hair into an interview and opt for a more conservative hairstyle (no curly afros) to the office.
How ironic and interesting it is that after sitting a friend down to tell her that I think the reason she wasn't getting teaching jobs was because of her current hairstyle, she decided to forgo the Tina Turner lioness wig, straighten her natural hair and pull it up into a sophisticated bun. This was probably her 5th interview to date and a few weeks later after changing her hair, I got word that she landed the very next teaching job she interviewed for.
One could say that this has nothing to do with her hair, but things like this happen often. Yes she was well qualified for each job she interviewed for but I do think there is truth in the fact that her hair change helped. And even if it wasn't that, I think it goes to show you that hair too many women of color is something that we have to be cautious of, along with everything else in this world we have to be cautious of when it comes to professionalism.
Now a year laterā¦ I am convinced that although I am way more confident with my natural hair, this hair thing will be something I will deal with my entire life, and even if not personally, I think there will be plenty of young women of color like myself or maybe even my children that I will have to make an extra effort to tell them just how beautiful their hair is. Luckily for up and coming generations, the natural hair movement is a real thing, and thanks to youtube and other resources, whenever one needs new inspiration, there is so much out there to encourage and help anyone in need.
So what did I learn over the course of a year?
Well...I can say I learned that I have versatility. So whether I am wearing a weave or my natural hair, I can confidently walk into any room or meeting, corporate or not, and look around and say, "I got this, and I am beautiful". It's even more encouraging seeing some of my friends embrace their kinky hair these days. I don't think I would've realized how much support existed around me had I not done this. I cherish and recall the kind words of strangers this past year and honestly, it sounds stupid to say this but, I have a greater self-confidence and a greater belief in the beauty that I am.
Call this another open confession, sappy or whatever, but it's the truth, and I know plenty of women who have found liberation in being all of who they are, even if just for a season.
