#4.4.2022

trying to figure out what natasha looks like. make up’s hard

April 4, 2022 - Day 289

Date: 4 April 2022

Duration: 57 minutes at 9:55 PM

Depth:

There was that blessed sense of mind expansion while meditating last night. It has been there for no more than 5 sessions now. There is a lightness of attention right from the word go in these recent sessions. In all meditations, prior to the recent few, I have at best chanced on such lightness.

Lightness of attention is due to attention placed in a suitably deep part of mind. Where the mind is spacious, the clutter of thoughts to manoeuvre around is missing. Attention can afford to go lightly in the truly deep mind spaces. My hold on my attention isn’t just gentle anymore. It is hanging by a thread. It is a blessing to be meditating so deeply.

I was right about anticipating more spine work. I wrote about it. A few blog entries back, I have mentioned that my head is in seeming need of greater gathering of life forces, before it receives any energy. My spine needs to gather more energy! As if all the trembling for two years hasn’t been enough, there is more required!

Last night’s trembles turned strong. After they turned strong, the trembles wouldn’t go back to mild unless I paused meditating. The point on the spine where the force to tremble seemed to come from, was not the neck! It was in the middle of the back and some of the upper back.

If blessed life energies choose to be in my heart rather than my head, I would totally understand. My heart hasn’t exactly found full expression through the head, like ever.

For years before I was blessed with a stirred Kundalini, I have lived with disharmony. For two years of a stirred Kundalini, I have lived disharmoniously. In fact, even now I don’t see any reason for me to stop making affirmations for harmony at the end of each meditation session.