Jan 23, 2020
Jeffrey was in this Picture posted on Twitter. 4/24/18
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Jeffrey was in this Picture posted on Twitter. 4/24/18
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More of Guy on the Tour Auto Optic 2000!
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roadratmagazine: “So we’ve reached Besançon after a hard days racing and cross country driving. Hard to believe we only set off this morning. The 914-6GT has been a dream so far.” - Guy 📷 Graham Dodridge #TeamRoadRat #TheRoadRat #TourAuto#Porsche
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The modern definition and conversation of twenty one pilots is more preconception than substantial content regarding the artists. The first thing you think when you hear their name is how annoying it is to hear all of the stale buzz and prepubescent obsession. They were inevitably caked in mindlessness. You've already heard what everyone is talking about and minds mostly aren't being changed. That's fine. They have a place in the world and a seperate place in my head.
In this year of silence, it's been easier to reclaim the sanctity of those four CD's on my shelf, towards something that feels more like mine. Even though some of my best memories are listening to them with my friends, I learned how to enjoy things on my own because of that music. In that regard it prompted me to mature, and now I only listen to that music sporadically.
My character has been irreversibly influenced by them. I overassociate concepts, draw flaky parallels for internal gratification, and maybe come off wrong to some or fail to make sense. All of that aformentioned fucking mess is alleviated for me because I realize it's the same mess that taught me to put myself first. I won't say "the beginning of purpose is in creating something only you understand" to evoke some highbrow bullshit. It's to convey that you, or whatever you're about doesn't have to make sense if it makes you smile.
☠️
4.24.2018
I found myself looking at you today, only to look away the second that your eyes glanced up and met mine. I was transported back to when we were first beginning what we had; back when I didn’t have a single doubt about you in my mind. I found myself thinking of you today. Thinking of the way that your smile is just slighty lopsided and the way that your eyes would light up whenever you saw me. I thought of the sweet nothings you used to whisper in my ear when you thought that no one else could hear, the way that your arm felt while it was draped around my shoulders, and the way that your body felt while it was pressed against mine. I found myself longing for those days today, wishing that I could go back in time, not so that I could relive those moments, but so I could warn myself. I found myself wishing that I could tell myself to cherish those couple months of true happiness because as soon as they passed, although I wouldn’t lose you for quite a while, I would be extremely miserable. Sometimes I wish that I could erase that year from my life, but today I found myself thinking. I realized that although the pain you caused me was terrible, that because of you I now flinch whenever anyone touches me and that because of you I’m hesitant to trust the one person I know would never hurt me...All of those things aside...If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today. I wouldn’t know what true happiness is, and I wouldn’t have the courage to stand up and help others that are in the position that I was once put in because of you. I’m not trying to thank you for abusing me. I’m not trying to say that I’m glad that you did things that I did not give you permission to do. I’m not saying that I am happy that you pushed me to do things that I was not comfortable with or ready for. I am in no way thanking you for being such a terrible person...But I am saying that if it weren’t for you, well, I wouldn’t be who I am today.