So this is very niche but.
Shi Wudu and Ling Wen try to seduce Pei Ming for years. Seperately and as a team. Pei Ming remains completely oblivious to this. Each attempt fails. Notable highlights include Ling Wen writing seductive poetry about Pei Ming's sword, Shi Wudu putting on a sexy dress,...
One day, Pei Ming comes back from a mission and he seems kind of shellshocked. Shi Wudu and Ling Wen are his friends, first and foremost, so they get him drunk as friends do and ask what happened. The mission went fine, it turns out. But on the way back, Pei Ming ran into this couple. Pei Ming stops there and a furious blush takes over his face. At this point, Shi Wudu and Ling Wen reach for each other's hand. Fingers linked tightly, they inquire, and then what?
They seduced him. They seduced him right into their bed. With shitty porn literature and cheap roleplay!
Ling Wen burns her quills, Shi Wudu sequesters himself into his house. They insist they are not upset about anything. Shi Qingxuan eventually manages to drag Ling Wen over to Shi Wudu, so they can drown their regrets together. He hates seeing Shi Wudu lonely and being forced to stay at his side 24/7 -- Shi Wudu is opinionated on everything. Shi Qingxuan loves him but there's a limit to how much 'good advice', Shi Qingxuan can take. Shi Qingxuan also guards them from Pei Ming. The threats are vivid and strangely imaginative.
Sad, hurt and a great deal confused, Pei Ming descends to vent to his new friends. Somewhere on Su Xiyan's hidden spiritual mountain, lounging in a bubble bath Tianlang Jun laughs out loud. My good friend, he says, they are jealous. Su Xiyan feeds Tianlang Jun another strawberry grape and adds, heartbroken that their precious cabbage has been dug up by two scoundrels. Pei Ming is doubtful. Which of course leads to poor Zhuzhi Lang being forced to speed create a whole conspiracy board while Tianlang Jun explains his grand theory of "your two hot friends want to do the horizontal tango with you' with commentary by Su Xiyan.
Huh, says Pei Ming.
