#3d6 queue damage

Let’s talk about Keptolo, consort of Lolth and the drow god of hedonism and male fertility.  He is representative of the “ideal upper-class male drow,” and exemplifies “flattery, intoxication, rumor, and opportunism.”

And his symbol… is a mushroom. 🍄😏

Okay, amusing for obvious reasons, but bringing this over to Exandria I was reminded of the fact that mushrooms are a staple crop in the Dynasty, present in many of their dishes.  This led to a conversation on a much beloved discord server about whether whole mushrooms would be a food with a sexual connotation, much in the same way some people still consider oysters an aphrodisiac.  Perhaps they grind mushrooms into a powder for more versatile use, like with chaga powder, or they just chop them up so that the shape isn’t really noticeable.

And then it occurred to me: the Mighty Nein wouldn’t know any of that.

And Caduceus feeds them a lot of mushrooms.

What must poor Essek think when this pack weirdos of invites him over, asks him increasingly personal questions, asks if he thinks any of them are attractive, and invites him to get naked in a hot tub with them, and provides a dinner of deliciously grilled whole mushrooms?

I submit to you my formal request for a new chemistry.

That I be broken down into my most base parts, protons and electrons and nuclei,

To be reformed anew as something less twisted, creeping, killing.

To be turned to a pillar of sodium chloride.

To have cells replicate as potassium hydroxide and scrape me clean.

To melt into a pool of liquid mercury in which my temperament will somehow remain stable.

I submit to you my formal request that this knotted pit of need swallowed inside me

(growing. eating. breaking.)

Shall be turned to gloriously cool water and allowed to sink into the earth

Even if it turns me to water as well.

We will be together, the same, no longer enemies but children of a shared universe.

I will stand outside upon the dirt and fallen leaves

So that I do not stain the carpet when I go.

(why am I so excited to have gotten my first ‘ask,’ what the actual fuck, brain chemicals?)

blorbo (char. I think about the most): DORIAN STORM.  Robbie Daymond woke up one day and said “my D&D character is going to be a personal attack on Every Performing Artist Ever” and I love him for it.

scrunkly (my “baby”): FEARNE CALLOWAY.  She may be hot, I may want her to step on me, but more than that she screams SNUGGLE ME.  She is the MOST and I would DIE for her.

scrimblo bimblo (underappreciated fave): ASHTON GREYMOORE.  so everyone loves them, sure, but they deserve more credit for how supportive he is of his friends (wanting to check how Anni’s audition went, giving Milo ALL the money, etc).  So precious.  I love themb.

glup shitto (obscure fave): ANNI AUGHTA!  Half-elf half-orc aggressively competitive musician who says Eat The Rich but also You Got Talent Kid?  I am in love.

poor little meow meow (unpopular/pathetic fave): BERTRAND BELL.  He is still Lord of the Quadroads in my heart. 💔

horse plinko (char. I would torment for fun): ORYM OF THE AIR ASHARI.  Are you really that surprised?  Liam’s a shakespeare geek, he does suffering SO well.