#3add

"Have you seen Esper? I thought he might be here, y'know, working with you," Lusa says, brows only furrowing further.

Masi mirrors him. "No, I haven't see him all day. Or even yesterday."

"Me neither," Lusa mutters. "He didn't say anything about leaving, so where is he?"

"You think something might've happened to him?"

"No, he can take care of himself," Lusa states firmly, shaking his head, "But he always says something when he goes somewhere. I'm worried. What if he's angry at us?"

Masi recrosses his legs, folding his hands at the same time. "Why would he be mad?"

"I dunno, he just... seemed off lately, hasn't he?"

Masi looks down at his shoes, rubbing one against his pant leg to wipe the crystal on it to shine. Yes, he can remember Esper being reclusive lately, even more so than usual. Though he hasn't paid it much attention before.

Maybe he should have.

"Then let's find him, someone's bound to know something."

Lusa brightens up when Masi stands up, patting down his coat. The worried expression on Masi's face doesn't escape him, even if Masi tries keeping it neutral.

For Masi's sake alone, he doesn't say a thing.

Okay, so maybe staying at Vanessa's barracks and wandering around the streets isn't 'leaving', but it's not like Esper can just up and leave completely, right? (He can, but maybe he doesn't truly want to. Who would help the Gang?)

He'd struck a deal with one of the Ciels, Roy, since he's the most likely one Masi and Lusa would go to. He always seems to know everything. He's banking on luck, because if they go to anyone else who had seen him buying out all the chocolate donuts earlier, he's shit out of luck, because they won't keep quiet.

They don't have a reason to, so it's not like he'd hold it against them. Plus he can outrun both of his lovers. Maybe not outrun, but outmaneuver? Absolutely.

He knows, logically he knows he shouldn't avoid them, should talk to them about his thoughts, but that just seems so… bad, somehow. He's never been the most considerate person in Elrios, he's the first one to admit that, but he doesn't want to burden them with regrets or bring their pity upon himself.

Maybe they never were meant to work. Maybe he was just destined to guide Lusa to Masi, like an indirect red string. He's sure Arme could give him a whole seminar on how the Goddess guides them all where they belong.

He's stupid, for ever having any hope. Why would they ever want him when they have each other? Who would want such a failure? He's not even worth himself, how pathetic.

He's startled out of his thoughts by Asura sitting next to him, with a bright smile on her lips. It's surprising to see her in town, but Esper doesn't say anything.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" she asks him, peering at him curiously. Esper kind of expects her to fall backwards off the bench, but she doesn't. At least not this time.

"I'm hiding," Esper tells her, because really, what's the point in lying?

"You're hiding in a park, sitting on a bench," Asura says, deliberately, to put his choices in perspective.

"I'm not running from demons, I'm just… avoiding someone," he huffs, but he does look away, "I can be out, it's not like it's forbidden."

Asura laughs. "I didn't say it's forbidden, dummy. It's just that you look very miserable. Who are you hiding from? Haha, sorry, avoiding?"

"Masi and Lusa," Esper says. Maybe she could cover for him too, if he asked nicely-

"You're doing a terrible job, then. There they are!"

Finding Lu and Ciel is never particularly hard, no matter the pair. Either they're shopping, enjoying Ciel's handiwork, or spending time with others. And Noblesse's affinity for tea parties and sweets was widely known.

Lusa had suggested they find Apos, or someone else close to Esper, like Infi or Krim, but all of them are reclusive and finding them is a fest in itself. So it had fallen back to Guard - he always seems to know the whereabouts of everyone, somehow. He was their best bet.

They find them in the gardens, table set up with countless delicacies that make Lusa's mouth water. Noblesse is enjoying a cup of what is no doubt over sweetened tea, and her eyes follow them over the rim of the porcelain dish as they come closer.

"If it isn't my favorite scientists!" she laughs, setting the cup down with a soft chink. "Come to join the afternoon party?"

On a different occasion it wouldn't even be a question, but right now, Masi crosses his arms almost defensively and looks over at Ciel. "No, we just, came to ask something."

"Oh, and what might that be?" Noblesse asks, curiosity peaked.

"Have you seen Esper? We can't find him."

"Did he get lost in time again?" Lu laughs, but just as quickly she quietens down and looks over at Ciel. She studies him for a moment, even though he says nothing. "You know, Ciel?"

Lusa perks up with hope, glancing at the butler. Ciel's features are set in a small frown. He sighs when Lu sends him a pointed look and speaks up. "Very well. He requested I keep it a secret, but I cannot ignore Lu's wishes either. He wished to leave you to your happiness."

"Our happiness? What's that mean?" Lusa bursts, hands clenching by his sides. What was Esper thinking? He's embarrassed to say even though Esper is him, he doesn't know what goes on in that head of his.

"Sounds to me like he's left your little debauchery of a relationship," Noblesse pipes up.

Roy sighs again. "I don't know where he is, but he did say something about staying at the barracks. Please talk to him, he didn't seem happy with this decision."

Roy didn't need to tell them twice.

Asura smiles and waves at them, all giddy. Esper, on the other hand, looks positively terrified. Neither of his lovers is happy to see such an expression on his face, but it only seems to worsen the closer they get.

"Esper! We've been looking all over for you!" Masi huffs when they get within earshot.

It seems to unfreeze Esper and he bolts up, arm out to create a portal, a move Lusa could recognize anywhere. Asura grabs his wrist before he can, though, and he jerks, looking down st her with wide eyes.

"Let go! Sura!" he begs, but she doesn't. For such a small person, her grip is remarkable.

"No. Esper, you should talk to then. You don't want to do something you'll regret," she says, eyes clouding over a little. Esper can tell she's momentarily far, far away, in the sea of memories.

He looks up at Masi and Lusa and his hand twitches in Asura’s hold before going lax. She lets go and smiles at him. He thinks she’s trying to be supportive and reassuring, but he doesn’t feel any better. Anxiety swirls in the pit of his stomach.

Asura stands up and leans close to him so only he hears when she whispers into his ear. “It’ll be okay. You can find me later if you need anything.”

And that, that is reassuring, and Esper is almost ready to cry right then and there. Such kindness is so scarce in this world, but that’s what friends do, isn’t it? Something must show on his face without him being aware, because Asura gives one more reassuring squeeze to his wrist and then she’s running off. It wouldn’t be too hard to find her either, not when she said to; she’ll probably hang around the square, drag Krim for a snack.

“Well, will you tell us why you’ve gone missing?” Masi asks and the anxiety is right back at home within Esper. He turns to them, shoulders hunching. Why does he feel like a child again?

“Masi,” Lusa sighs, turning an apologetic look to Esper, “What he means is, he was worried. We both were. Are.”

A laugh bubbles up from Esper’s throat, no more than a choked chuckle. “That’s stupid, why?”

Masi and Lusa turn to each other with a flabbergasted look. “Alright, that’s it. What the hell is going on?” Masi growls, angry that he had to have been pulled (even though he hadn’t been) from his research only for Esper to be completely uncooperative.

Esper laughs again, head hung so low that his fringe makes his expression unseeable. “You shouldn’t bother anymore,” he says, “I don’t wanna…”

“Bother?” Lusa cuts him off, which is fine, because not even he knows what he would have said. “Masi was the one who wanted to go find you together.”

Esper clenches his hands into fists, nails driving into the skin even through the gloves. Had he only messed up more again? If only he’d been smarted about this, the others wouldn’t have worried needlessly.

Wait, why are they worried anyway? Do they feel obligated to? Is this merely pity? That thought alone manages to bring the taste of bile into his mouth.

“I’m sorry!” he cries suddenly, clenching his jaw so hard it aches, “I’m sorry you feel like you need to do this, but you don’t. It’s fine, I know you like each other more, so I wanted to make it easier on you by leaving! You don’t need to bother with me anymore.”

It came out easier than Esper ever thought it would, but that didn’t help with the empty space suddenly filling his chest. Adrenaline pulses through his veins, but he sags despite it.

“Okay, that settles it,” Masi says after a moment which feels like an entire hour to Esper’s mind. He thinks Masi got it, but he continues, “We have to go back to the lab so I can run some tests on Esper.”

“Masi, what the hell?!” Lusa cries, horrified.

Esper only allows himself a humorless smile; of course, now that there was no romantic attachment, the first thing Masi would want to do is test his corruption.

“Well, I have no fucking idea why he would ever think this,” Masi huffs back. Clothes rustle and when Esper finally forces himself to look up, he can see Masi rubbing his upper arm, a clear testament that Lusa had punched him there. There’s a frown on Lusa’s face.

“Bad joke,” he says, “Bad timing. Bad everything. Just shut up for a minute.”

For once (and maybe this reflects the weight of the current situation), Masi listens, and ever says a soft, “Sorry.”

Lusa steps forward and Esper stays still only by the sheer force of will. He doesn’t need to look any more weaker than he already has. “Es, why do you think this? It’s not, and we don’t want you to leave anywhere.”

Esper wants to believe in Lusa’s voice, because there’s something in it, something softer, careful, something almost soothing. He really wants to, but every other piece of him that isn’t the tiny part of his brain screams no. “You two are better for each other,” he says. He can’t bring himself to look Lusa in the face, much less in the eyes. Masi neither. “It’s very obvious, so I don’t want to get between you.”

“Esper, but you belong between us,” Lusa tells him, reaching out and placing his hand onto Esper’s slender shoulder. Sometimes it’s unbelievable that Lusa is still him; he’s so much bigger, so much stronger. Is it weird to look at his hand and wish it was around his throat so its warmth would be the last thing he’d feel before death? Probably.

“Wait, I get it,” Masi speaks up. There’s a spark in his eyes when Lusa glances over, but it’s far from the usual bright of ideas or happiness. The wrinkles of his grimace seem guilty. “We’ve been neglecting you lately,” he mutters, also stepping forward, “And that’s why you thought… that we didn’t love you anymore.”

Esper can’t do much else but nod. Lusa can feel his shoulder shaking under his hold, so he gives it a small squeeze, hoping it’ll convey… something.

Thinking back on it, Lusa can recall a bunch of times Esper had shied away when the two of them were being affectionate, though he can’t pinpoint the exact time it’d started happening. That only makes him more guilty; he should’ve paid more attention to the details, that’s what they all do, they pay attention to the small things, they mosaic them into a piece.

“That’s wrong,” he utters, “I didn’t know it came across like that, but… we never stopped loving you, not even a bit.”

“And I won’t let you leave even if I have to strap you to a chair while we reassure you,” Masi states. Lusa is ready to tell him off for more inappropriate jokes, but Esper actually laughs this time.

“Really?” he asks, voice cracking in the middle. He finally looks up and there’s dark tears clinging to his lashes, contrasting vividly.

Lusa can’t even imagine being in his shoes right now. What would he have done if Esper and Masi stopped loving him? He’d probably… leave, too. He understands, he really does.

“Really,” he says.

“Really,” Masi echoes.

“I’m… sorry for being so rash, then,” Esper says. He’s doing his best to believe them, not to fall back on the apathy of the world.

Lusa wraps his arms around him and brings him close, practically squishing him against his chest. It’s familiar and warm and Esper’s heart feels at ease at last. “No sorries. We’re the ones who should apologize anyway. I’ll make damn sure this doesn’t happen again, if you’ll let me— us.”

“Yes,” Masi mutters, stepping around to press himself against Esper’s back. They used to sleep like this a lot, pressed against each other like a weird sandwich, but never had they done this standing up. Esper has to say it’s nice, feeling a heartbeat against his back and against his own, feel Masi’s hair brushing his nape, their hands squeezing him close. “You’re in for it now, Lusa won’t let you go all day long.”

Esper smothers a smile against Lusa’s shoulder as the brawler protests, “What, no! I’ll let him go!” Quieter, he adds, “If he wants me to.”

“No,” Esper says, still pressed into the soft fabric of Lusa’s vest. It’s half-muffled, but both of them laugh, so it’s still more than audible.

“So would you be willing to give us another chance?” Lusa asks, carding fingers through the mess of Esper’s hair. Esper goes lax in their hold, a testament to just how much he likes the gesture.

“We won’t fuck up anymore,” Masi says, but then he backtracks, “Well, we probably will, but you should talk to us the next time instead of running away.”

“Yeah,” Esper says. His hand finds Masi’s on his hip and he wiggles his fingers into it, lacing them together.

“I can start by treating you to those chocolate cakes with strawberries,” Lusa offers, pulling away. There’s a small wet patch on his shoulders and Esper’s eyes are rimmed with red and puffy, but there’s also a smile on his lips which he leans in to smooch gently.

“With extra cream?” Esper asks, still so close his lips brush against Lusa’s when they move.

“I’ll buy all the fucking cream in the shop if that’s what you want.”

Esper laughs, full of mirth. Lusa and Masi exchange a smile as well, squeezing the hug further as fear finally starts ebbing away from all three of them. Both of them are already forming plans in their minds, thinking back to what Esper had missed out so they could make it up to him. Neither of them wants to let this happen again.

Lusa vows to himself that none of them would ever have to feel like Esper had anymore, even if it would kill him. Which, truthfully, it wouldn’t, only making it easier.

Esper wiggles against Lusa, arching his neck so he could kiss Masi as well. The crystal in his chest is hot against Lusa’s and the brawler couldn’t be more glad.

They decide to grab Esper’s hand each as they head to the bakery, despite the looks some of the citizens still give them.

As they make their way out of the park, Esper mentally promises to find Asura next. He doesn’t need to, but he wants to thank her for grounding him and making him stay. He can’t even imagine this conversation — one he had been dreading for weeks — going any better. And it’s all thanks to her.

Roy, too, he probably told Masi and Lusa in the end.

Thinking about it like this, Esper is reminded how many friends he has; people that care about him, without necessarily wanting anything in return. Vanessa’s concerned look when he asked for a place at the barracks springs into mind, and his mental list of people to thank and maybe apologize to only grows.

"Maybe later, then," he mutters to the silent screen, looking over the numbers once more before he shuts it down.

Once the quiet, steady hum of the computer fades, he's left in an oppressing silence, and it follows him as he trudges his way through the halls to the bedroom.

He feels as if he should be used to it.

The door opens with a soft creak and he slips inside. Lusa and Masi are sprawled on the king-sized bed, twined together so close Esper isn't sure which leg is whose in the dark. He pauses, throat suddenly dry and legs shaking. He chalks it up to sleep deprivation.

Lusa stirs, raising his head a little. He doesn't open his eyes and his voice is slurred with sleep. "Come join us, Es," he says, nuzzling the side of his face against Masi's wild hair.

Esper's chest squeezes painfully for some reason. He gulps around the lump suddenly in his throat, even though it's painful. He casts his eyes to the ground, willing his body to move, to do something, anything.

"Sorry," he ends up saying, quiet in the still air, "I just need something."

Lusa doesn't move an inch as he goes to the bedside table and opens a drawer, only solidifying Esper's hunch that he'd fallen asleep again. Esper's fingers curl around the first thing he finds, a data card, perfect, and he retreats faster than probably necessary.

He spares one last glance to his lovers, chest still feeling like a cage that won't allow him to breathe properly. And with that, confirming they're unbothered, still asleep and still tangled together, Esper leaves them, dragging his feet back to the lab.

He's not even sure what the data card he'd grabbed has on it, but he's sure it's not anything that would allow him to make progress. After all, it's his card.

Still, he jams it into the computer and only winces minimally as the screen comes to life, bright light burning his retinas for a moment.

Maybe later is now.

As much as Esper likes Apos, he has to admit the man has no regards for atmosphere and is too blunt. Not that either ever really bothered him, but it does now and he doesn't know why.

"They look like they're having fun," Apos says, eyes trained to Masi telling Lusa something. Lusa looks enraptured with whatever it is. "Why aren't you with them?"

Really, Esper thinks he'd rather deal with Arme at the moment. At least the holier man didn't comment on unnecessary things.

"Exactly for that," Esper finds himself saying, knowing full well Apos will have no idea what he means. It manages to ease the constricting feeling of his heart imploding, if only for a moment. Or maybe it doesn't, maybe he just came to terms and not saying a lie for once cemented it.

He doesn't expect Apos to pierce him with a blank look. The longer he keeps it up, the worse Esper feels. Does Apos understand? Did he piece it together?

Esper has the urge to grab his shoulders, shake him, pull him away so he'd be free to yell and plead with him. The eye following the ex-priest only serves to double the pressure of the stare. Who even is on the other side of it?

A god? Is a god watching him be this pathetic?

"Apos," Esper forces out, brows set together into a frown.

He didn't even know what he'd say, if there even was anything, but it doesn't matter, because Apos cuts him off before he could stammer out anything else anyhow. "Let's get some food." Apos' voice is soft and he twists on a heel and marches down the street towards the square. Esper falls in step with him with ease, without even thinking about it.

He feels like he'd been wrong, because maybe Apos can always read the atmosphere. He always does things like this, and Esper would be lying if he said he wasn't glad to be away from the cute smile on Masi's face and the grinning, happy look on Lusa's.

It doesn't make any sense, but when was the last time anything in his life made any sense? He should be happy they're having fun together, not wanting the ground to open up so he could fall through it straight to Henir's realm.

"Thanks, Apos," he mutters, looking up at the taller man with what he hopes is a nice, grateful smile.

Apos returns it, a small raise of the corners of his lips. Esper isn't sure when the other warmed up to him, but the same could go the other way, he supposed. They find themselves in front of Esper's favorite inn, and once again he's reminded of how observant Apos is.

He feels the need to thank him again, but forces it down along with the sinking feeling in his gut that hadn't left him for a week.

He knows, logically he knows that running away won't solve anything, but the thought of having a conversation with both Lusa and Masi and having to admit himself in front of the both of them is nauseating, to say the least.

So he doesn't. It's probably normal, right?

It's not like he has much experience with love, and he isn't going to go about and ask someone, but it has to be normal. Maybe Ref wouldn't laugh at him, but it's not like he has any desire to spend hours preparing how to explain what he's feeling.

He doesn't know what and why he's feeling in the first place, how would he expect anyone else to?

There's a knock to his door before it opens. Esper didn't need to look to know it's Lusa, but he does anyway, meeting his bright grin.

"Es, come to the desert with me," Lusa asks, though it sounds more like a command than a request.

Even still, Esper's heart picks up, giddiness spreading through him like plague. "Sure," he replies before Lusa even fully finishes.

"Sweet! Masi said he needed to get a sample from the Behemoth's body, but he doesn't have the time. And I don't want to go alone," Lusa explains as Esper gets ready, pulling on his gear.

He pauses halfway through pulling the jacket on, arm outstretched. So Lusa only came to get him because Masi couldn't go. That's… fine. That's fine. Yeah, it's totally fine.

He shoves his hand through the sleeve and motions for his Dynamo. It arranges itself aground him, somehow even more in disarray than usual, if that's even possible. Well, one of them is vibrating incessantly, so he guesses it is possible.

Lusa doesn't seem to notice it, thankfully. Esper isn't sure he'd be able to calm it completely when he feels like puking walking behind Lusa.

He'd thought maybe having two lovers would be twice as nice. He'd thought him and Masi would work together, would go out and do everything he'd used to do with Lusa, but now he isn't so sure. The idea is still in his mind, like a weed refusing to be plucked, but the reality seems to have thought different than him.

Watching his lovers from afar, talking or working or doing anything, Esper is hit with the cold hard facts. Lusa and Masi fit together more than him and Lusa ever did or him and Masi ever could.

He should be happy for them. He really should.

But instead he feels like he'd been left for a pack of ghosts to suck out his soul. He doesn't fight it at this point, just tries to push the feeling as far into the back of his mind as he can.

They're happy, and they don't need him for that happiness. In fact, he probably only gets in the way, that's why they overlook him most of the time.

Which is fine, that’s all he’d ever done anyhow. It’s fine, it really is. Letting them be happy together is the least he could do. That’s what he keeps repeating to himself as he looks over the empty bedroom, with a portal humming faintly next to himself.

He opens the door and barges inside, only to stop and take in the scene; Lusa standing by the door, with a holo-screen floating in front of himself, with data streaming on its surface so fast that not even Masi can make it out, and Esper floating upside down (oh, no, he’s just rotating in the lack of gravity) in a time-space rift almost the size of the whole room.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “What, exactly, are you two idiots doing?” he asks, gathering Lusa’s attention.

The berserker turns to him with a grin, fingers tapping at the floating control in front of him idly. “Oh, good mornin’, Masi!”

“It’s a good morning when I don’t have to see you before six thirty in the morning,” Masi bites back, scowling. “So, what’s going on here?”

“Esper’s testing a new thing, he made a rift and uses it to lower his own gravity to gather enough for a sonic blast bomb,” Lusa explains, eyes peering down at the values. Obviously they’re good, because he grins and gives the time traveler a thumbs up.

Esper grins back, all jagged edges and crinkled, dark eyes. And then he reaches up, gathering the unstable energy within his palms. The ball (if it could be called that) gets bigger and bigger, pulsing sporadically, changing colors and generally looking very threatening.

Lusa’s Dynamos, which Masi didn’t even notice were present or even enabled, move up and create a barrier between them.

Esper slams the balls to the ground.

The whole room shakes at the impact; it almost knocks Masi off his feet with the force. So that’s the noise he’d been hearing.

Even the show of power does nothing to change his sour mood. “Why did you choose to do this, this early in the morning?”

Lusa chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Couldn’t sleep?” It sounds more like a question than any sort of an answer.

“Well, some of us,” Masi empathizes, “could. And then they couldn’t because of you.”

“The room is soundproofed, I dunno what more we can do for you.” Lusa shrugs noncommittally.

The smoke from Esper’s test slowly clears and the rift closes, the values on Lusa’s screen telling him sooner than he can actually see it. He catches a glimpse of Esper, holding a finger to his mouth and opening a small portal to slip through. Its twin opens right behind Masi and Esper emerges with outstretched arms.

They circle Masi’s abdomen and ghost over his sides, making him almost jump out of his skin. Esper chortles behind and Lusa joins him. If he gets one of his Dynamos to take a picture of Masi’s terrified face, then that’s his, and his own business. And Esper’s, once he shows him later.

“What, missed out on your beauty sleep?” the time traveler teases.

Masi glares at him with deadly intensity, rubbing over his side. Once he calms down, his glare somehow gets even worse. “At least I am beautiful, unlike you two,” he barks.

Esper and Lusa exchange a look and then simultaneously burst out with laughter. “Oh, ohh, that’s a good one, buddy. I’ll remind you of it later,” Esper says, the twinkle in his eyes suggesting he truly means it.

“I’m sure a mirror will remind him too.”

Masi sighs. “You two are the worst. First you wake up a guy…”

“Aw, would you like us to come to bed with you and snuggle you until you fall asleep~?”

“Yeah.”

“I— what?” Esper blinks, breaking from his teasing voice.

“Sure,” Masi repeats himself, with just the same stony face, “At least you’ll be quiet.”

“I…” Esper looks at Lusa, who only shrugs, and, as if on cue, yawns. He snorts quietly. “Well, I wouldn’t really mind some rest. Keeping that portal open took a lot.”

Masi grabs Esper’s and Lusa’s wrists in one hand each, tugging them out of the lab. “Great, perfect. So shut up now,” he mutters as he drags them to his room.

His desk is littered with open textbooks and notebooks with neatly written notes that he copies down, fingers starting to glide over his laptop’s keyboard again. He works manually, not really comprehending the words as he types them out, even if he reads through them to make sure there are no grammatical errors he’d get chewed out on.

The assignment is due at nine AM, and now he curses his past self for not doing it earlier. It’s English, though, and he has about as much motivation to dedicate his time to English as he has to sports. Which is, to say, none.

He keeps unlocking his phone so he can reply to Esper, walls of hearts met with more walls of hearts as they go back and forth. He’s thankful for the small talk; he probably wouldn’t have enough nerves to finish this thing.

No later than he’s saving the doc, fingers lingering over the control and s buttons, is there knocking on the door, loud and insistent, knowing very well he’s still up.

Masi pushes his chair away from the table and stands up, rubbing at his eyes after he pushes his glasses up. He puts them back into place before he opens the door, to properly see the person standing in the hallway.

His heart skips a beat — or two —  when his eyes settle on the man.

“Lusa,” he mutters, unable to hide the confusion in his voice. What’s he doing here?

The kickboxer smiles a little sheepishly. His hair is sticking up on one side, a clear testament saying he probably just woke up from a nap, probably after his training. He’s only wearing a tanktop and a pair of sweats.

Masi’s cheeks dust with pink and he tears his eyes away.

“I came to borrow the notes like we agreed,” Lusa says.

“Oh! Right.” Masi blinks; he’d almost completely forgotten about the deal they’d agreed on earlier. He retreats back into the dorm and digs through the pile of notes on his table, grabbing the two notebooks to give them to the other. “Here.”

Lusa takes them with a grateful smile, flashing his brilliant teeth.

Masi’s breath hitches a little.

“Thanks. I’ll give them back tomorrow. Or, y’know, later today,” Lusa laughs softly, looking at the clock mounted on the wall, and Masi can’t help a smile.

Lusa leaves with the notebooks and Masi is left alone with just the soft hum of the crickets from outside.

Now, done with the assignment, Masi flicks the light off and clambers into the bed, already looking forward to the morning.

He’ll have to get the essay printed and delivered, but, much more importantly, Lusa is going to take him for the morning coffee. The slight absurdity of the predicament they are in never ceases to amaze him.

They started off as nothing more than a pair working on a presentation for their applied physics class, and now, barely two and a half months later, they could even be considered best friends. Sometimes they snuck around the dorms to work together overnight, sometimes they exchanged notes, and sometimes they just went out for a coffee together. It had been a real surprise when Lusa told him he loves coffee — the guy certainly doesn’t look it, looks more of a protein shake kinda guy, but life is full of surprises, Masi supposes.

Masi walks back over to the table, double checks to make sure he actually saved the document by re-saving it a bunch of time, and then he copies it to a USB drive. With that done, he’s free to shut the laptop down and put it, along with some of the books and notebooks, into his backpack for the next day. The rest he puts away, each to its own designated spot on the shelf above the table, organized by subject.

Only then he’s satisfied enough to finally retreat to his bed, exchanging his t-shirt and pants for a pajama set. The mattress feels soft and the blanket so comfortable that he’s asleep in mere minutes, even despite his still marathoning brain.

Barely five hours later, the very same insistent knocking awakens him. The first rays of sunlight creep in through the window, creating stretched out shadows on the tidy floor. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Masi patters his way to the door and opens it to reveal Lusa, smiling way too cheerily for such an early hour of the day.

“Nice pajamas! Did I wake you up?” Lusa asks, not sounding apologetic in the slightest as he points to the pajama set Masi is wearing.

Masi looks down at himself. He’s wearing his favorite pajamas; the ones with paw prints that are so comfortable that it overweights the sure embarrassment of being seen in them by literally anyone aside from Esper, who owns a matching pair. Except…

“Give me a minute!” he squeaks out indignantly, slamming the door closed.

He scurried to get the pajamas off and some presentable clothes on, feeling heat blooming in his cheeks. Lusa’s mirthful laugh is audible even through the door, and the flush coloring Masi’s cheeks is about thrice as bad by the time he finally reopens the door, dressed in his usual dress shirt, pants and knit vest combo and holding his travel mug in one hand as he locks his dorm room.

“Aw, those pajamas were cute,” Lusa jests, very obviously enjoying Masi’s embarrassment. He startles, as if noticing something. “You really like cats, don’t you?”  His tone is lighthearted and jovial — almost as if he isn’t making fun of Masi at all. Masi follows his line of sight down to the mug he’s holding.

The cat head printed on it is pushed against Masi’s chest in an attempt to hide it. “Stop making fun of me!” he grumbles.

Lusa raises his hands and waves them a little, finally looking a tad bit sorry. “I wasn’t making fun of you! I love cats too!”

“You… do?”

“Yeah!”

Masi thinks back to Esper’s dorm room, where he secretly keeps a cat, and thinks that maybe they could introduce Lusa to the aptly named Paranoia. Hopefully she won’t be too scared.

“Okay, let’s go, Ara will kill me if we come in during the morning rush,” Lusa laughs, twisting on his heel and leading the way down the hall to the elevator.

“You know Ara?” Masi asks, slightly surprised, while he catches up, shoes squeaking just a tad bit on the floor.

“Oh boy do I… Her girlfriend is in the kickboxing course with me. I’m sure I know more about her kinks than I do about my own.” The last sentence is said with a vaguely wry tone. Masi wonders just how much he’d been told.

“I… see...” Masi mutters, face scrunching up a little as the elevator dings happily and they step in. He’d known Ara for long enough to know that both her and Elesis simply love talking about each other. A day without being told how sweet Elesis’ kisses are over coffee is a day when Masi wonders whether Ara is sick.

Though, to be fair, he also can’t resist to tell her about Esper and everything he does. They’re both just idiots in love, it’s okay.

Masi looks sideways, catching the way Lusa’s bangs bounce as he shifts. His eyes trail away again. Yes, very in love indeed.

They arrive at the ground level and Lusa leads the way again, just as chipper as each morning. Masi doesn’t know how he does it; he can’t even act alive until he’s downed his mandatory cup of coffee. Probably has to do with those energy smoothies he’d learned Lusa actually drinks.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and Masi fishes for it, unlocking it to find a new message from Esper, the messenger still open from last night.

‘have fun ;) ill see you in class later’

Despite it being a fairly normal message, Masi can feel heat filling his chest and cheeks alike. Esper had been doing this for a while, ever since him and Lusa started hanging around the shelter helping out. Actually, he should’ve figured the guy likes cats, working in a shelter, but somehow it never clicked in Masi’s brain.

Students did crazier things for credit and a nice line in their resumes.

Masi uses the rim of his mug to push his bangs out of his face as he types up a reply, thanking Esper, only to be met with the usual ‘yup~ np np’.

Putting away his phone when he gets a sticker of a cat doing a winky face and a peace sign, he catches Lusa not-so-subtly peeking over at him. The bulkier boy twists away to face forward again when he gets discovered.

Masi can swear he sees pink dusting his cheeks. His fingers itch to tell Esper, but he just curls them tighter around the mug and use his now free hand to actually push away the fringe out of his face from where it had fallen back right away.

“Ah, can you hold this for me?” he pipes up when the bangs relentlessly refuse to cooperate with him, holding up his mug.

Lusa takes the lilac plastic and watches almost enraptured as Masi undoes his ponytail to remake it, gathering the flowy locks tightly and wrapping the tie around them with deft fingers. They spill over his shoulders in a neat tail again and Lusa feels the impulse to reach out and touch it to make sure it’s as soft as he thinks it is.

“Thanks,” Masi says, taking the mug back from Lusa’s lax fingers and offering a small smile.

They walk to the coffee shop in silence after that, but somehow it isn’t uncomfortable in the slightest. Only as they’re entering the shop and Masi can feel his phone vibrating in his pocket with a new message from Esper — probably a meme at this point — does he pipe up.

“Hey, have you ever been in Esper’s dorm?” he asks, pulling Lusa’s attention as he holds the door open. Masi slips inside, accompanied by the chiming bell overhead.

“Hm?” Lusa hums, following, “No, why?”

Masi’s fingers curl around his phone. He looks away. “Well… I don’t think he told you, since it’s a secret, but Esper has a cat in his dorm. She’s super nice, uh… You could come visit her sometime?”

He isn’t quite sure why that proposal sounds so weird on his tongue or why he can’t move his eyes from the window and all the people passing by in their morning rush. He feels a little bad for putting more meaning behind it in his mind.

“Would Esper be okay with that?” Lusa asks in reply, leading the way to the counter, where Ara stands, keeping an eye on the small oven in the corner. The sweet smell of croissants fills the air.

Masi bites back the ‘it’d been Esper’s idea in the first place’ that sits at the tip of his tongue. Thinking of the three of them spending time together doing nothing but playing with Paranoia or playing those rpg games Lusa loves so much… is nice. It’s really nice; all they’d wanted for some time now.

“Yeah,” he says instead. “Ask him if you’re worried.”

Lusa seems to mull it over as they wait for Ara to acknowledge them, doing her best not to drop the tray with fresh, steaming croissants as she places it onto the counter to cool. “Nah, I’ll take your word for it. I’d love to. It feels weirdly like cheating hanging out with one of you alone anyhow.”

The way he says it is nonchalant, just a remark he probably doesn’t think much of, but Masi’s heartbeat picks up nonetheless and he bites down on his bottom lip. It hadn’t been cheating, not for the longest time. Not since Esper let it slip that Lusa looks hot after a workout. Not since Masi admitted he likes the way his chest feels lighter around Lusa. Not since they laughed together over Paranoia’s hungry meowing at each other’s stupidity for worrying so much.

“Esper’s gonna be happy,” Masi says quietly, unable to force back a smile stretching his lips. “Maybe we can make it a surprise. He’s always happy when you’re around.”

Lusa laughs, the sound finally getting Ara’s attention. “What about you? Are you happy with me? Or am I just pulling you along unwillingly?” Lusa elbows him teasingly, his eyes crinkled at the corners despite that.

Masi’s cheeks heat up when he thinks how he’d been looking forward to this. “No!” he blurts out, “I like being with you.”

There seems to be a knowing glint in both Lusa and Ara’s eyes after that. Masi hides his blush with his now filled mug, feeling like he had just spilled some age old secret.

Lusa laughs at him.