#313202

Nanood kasi ako ng The Breakup Playlist- Sarah Geronimo and Piolo Pascual

Then may part dun na nagkaron ng confrontation sila, it has been 3 years since they broke up and yet may tama pa rin sila sa isa't isa, may pain pa rin.. Then I remember, it has been fucking 7 1/2 years and yet may pain pa rin, may tama pa rin. Then may scene dun, si Sarah and bestfriend nya, they were talking. Sabi nun bestfriend nya- "umiikot ang mundo pero ikaw andun ka pa rin. Magpatawad ka hindi para sa kanya kundi para sayo"

Tama sya, I should have forgiven you for hurting me so bad that it almost killed me- literally amd figuratively. I should have forgiven you so the oain j me would go away, para san ayun healing process nagstart na. I should have not just buried the pain away. Dapat hinarap ko sya, hindi ko dapat pinagwalang bahala. That pain took 7 1/2 years of my life, I wasted time with the wrong people instead of focusing to healing myself. Marami nawala sakin, trabaho, confidence, self esteem, respect. Ni magayos ng sarili di ko na ginagawa, tinadtad ako ng acne. Lahat lahat nawala sakin, tiwala ng mga taong nagtiwala sa kakayahan ko nun mawala yun taong iniikutan ng mundo ko, nun mawala ka sakin. Ang pagpapatawad sayo ay para maging okay na ako.

Don't get me wrong with this, I am writing this now to let myself know of my realizations.

You will ALWAYS be my GREATEST LOVE, GREATEST DOWNFALL, GREATEST HEARTACHE, DEEPEST SCAR and all the extreme feelings that i could possibly feel. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THAT PERSON. Yun pareho ko kumain ng fries, yun pareho ko na mahilig sa dagat, yun unang tao na confident ako ni dinala sa church. IKAW YUN.

Things between us ended to soon and I could probably say, tragic ending. Sabi mo nga, si TIMING kasi, ayaw nya tayo pagtagpuin. Sabi mo nga, masaya ka na ngayon. Don't get me wrong, I am happy that you are happy even if it means that I am not part of that happiness that you feel. At least alam ko, may taong nagmamahal sa taong napakalaking bahagi ng buhay ko.

Wag ka magalala, pilit pa rin ako bumabangon, unti unti. Paunti unti binubo ko ulit lahat. Di man madali pero pilit ko kinakaya. You said, tapang ko, but you know what? I HAD NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO BE STRONG kasi takot na ako. Takot na ako masaktan, takot na ako malugmok, takot na ako makita ulit ang sarili ko na mamatay ulit.

Masaya ako na masaya ka. Oo mahal pa rin kita, pero kasabay ng pagbuo ko ng mga nawala sakin pinapakawalan ko na ang sarili ko sa pain ng past. Wala na rin naman ako magagawa, wala na rin tayo magagawa, si TÌMING kasi ayaw nya.

Salamat, maraming salamat kasi minsan, sa halos 4 na buwan naging para tayo sa isa't isa. Salamat kasi naramdaman ko na mahal mo ako, salamat kasi prinotektahan mo ako kahit masakit para sayo at sakin. Sorry for not fighting for what I feel for you, sorry for not being there when you need me, sorry for making you feel guilty for everything.

After you shattered my heart into pieces

Never wanted to be near where you might be

As I am afraid of seeing you loving someone else.

Days turned to months then years

Been mourning since that day you left me

I still cry everytime I remember how I let you slipped away

How coward I was not to fight for someone I love dearly.

Today, even it has been 7 years and 2 months

I still feel that same love for you I once had

I still feel how much I want you so bad

Today, i touched you

Today, i slept beside you

Today, i opened my eyes and saw you then lost you

Today, i closed my eyes as I dont want it to end

Surreal.

- I received your e-mail, sana totoo. Sana talaga para sakin to. Sana ako na lang sya. Miss na miss na miss na kita. 😭😭😭

Di ako makareply sa e-mail, kinuha nya password ko sa lahat eh. Kaya inaarchive ko agad lahat para kahit man lang dun may alaala pa ako sayo.

Sa iyo, ang puso ay naging masaya

Sa iyo, napuno ito ng galak at tuwa

Sa iyo, ako ay nagmahal ng totoo

Di man ako ang ngayon ang kasama mo

Di ko mabitiwan ang nakaraan, yan ay totoo

Di ko magawang talikuran kahit ipagtulakan ako

Di ko kaya iwan ang ngiti at pagmamahal mo

Dahil sa "noon", ang puso natin ay pinagbuklod

Totoo, hanggang ngayon may kirot

Totoo, hanggang sa ngayon masakit dito

Totoo, kung pwede lang ibalik ang panahon

Di ako bibitiw kahit ipagtulakan mo

Ang lahat na lang ng yun ang alaala mo

Ang pinaka MASAYA at MASAKIT na meron ako sayo

Pilitin man kalimutan pilitin man itago

I remember singing this song when I was younger. Probably about gradeschool. I remember my grandmom would always ask me to practice singing because most of the people in out family/clan are singers, unfortunately it wasn't for me.

I watched Through Night and Day, as I am watching it, all the memories from 23rd of February, 2013 until 18th of June of same year came rushing back.

I came to a realization, I wasn't over you AT ALL. I only thought I was but I wasn't.

Hi. Dito lang kasi kita pwede kausapin. Pinanood ko yun through night and day ni Paolo Contis at Alessandra de Rossi. Ang sakit. Amg sakit sakit. Mali ata na pinanood ko, ikaw nalala ko. Lahat lahat from 7 years ago bumalik. I guess I am not really healed yet.

Sorry ha, sorry kasi umasa, umaasa at feeling ko aasa pa rin. Tangina, napatunayan ko talaga, oķaw ang greatest love ko at greatest heartbreak ko.

Hirap. Andito ako sa Saudi, ang sakit ng puso ko. I guess, I never really tried letting you go. I am not healed. Mahal ka eh, tanga lang. Gaga. Nilibing ki lang yun sakit, di ko talaga hinarap yun sugat. Tinapalan ko lang ng tinapalan.

7 years, 4 months and 2 days.

I was the one left behind, you have completely moved on. 2013 was one hell of a ride for my life. Can't believe the pain is still there. You were my person, now you are someone else's.