#3.22.20

"Simply Sunshine"

but if I think about bringing it up to my mom it goes “remember that time you sort-of brought up your glasses fear to your friend who had glasses and they said that they hate when people pretend to need glasses. It probably costs money to go to the eye doctor and get your eyes checked and get glasses and all of that. It also costs money to see the doctor for back problems. You don’t have money, family money is tight, you don’t have the money for-”

and so instead of doing anything I just lowkey sit with this fear because anxiety is also like “well maybe nothing’s wrong. What if you go through all that trouble and absolutely nothing is wrong. You don’t need glasses, your back is fine, and you’ve wasted lots of money that is needed. What if-”

And there was pain, too, as there always is, but look at all that good. Between hello and goodbye there was so much love. There was so much laughter. There were blazing sunsets and wine-flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes. There were late-night talks and brilliant blue skies and the fresh fall of rain. There was waiting under warm blankets for the sun to show its shy face from behind the mountains. There was watching the mist rise from the valley. There was healing. There were neverending dreams.