#3.16.20

First day working full-time back in the office (or until we're shut down to work remotely). Erp is at daycare and Kevin is still required to continue doing his rotations as part of his third year education.

My work is allowing anyone to work remotely if they don't feel comfortable coming into the office. Since Kevin's being exposed to more germs than I am I figure I'll work remotely if/when he's told to stop. Or, until I no longer feel calm about the situation. More than likely given how things are progressing, in a week or two my work will go fully remote.

Got out for a walk yesterday evening with my friendbor which was nice to be outside in the fresh air despite it being pretty cold outside. Love seeing the nature pics even though they're always the same - they give me peace nonetheless.

I approached the sanctuary and asked if I could approach. I felt a confirmation, and continued. I sat down and made an offering. As I made the offering, the energy was very intense; I haven’t felt that level of intense energy in a long time. 

I went to the astral and opened the doors. I was immediately met by a pleasant little green grove. It was early morning, and the leaves were illuminated by a soft sunlight. The air was cool yet warm. Birds chirped all around me.

I walked and found a little wooden table with gnarled yet beautiful wooden dishes and cutlery. I heard an old, low voice tell me to sit down. I looked over and saw The Green Man walking over with his cane. He looked different, without green leafed hair and beard, which was instead made of shaggy bark. I ran over and gave him a hug, then he bid me to sit down.

We talked. I caught him up on everything that's happened since we last spoke, and he gave me lots of forest water. It was deep green, and it smelled of pine. It felt cool going down, and was very satisfying energetically. Then I told him about how I've been feeling called by the forest. He nodded solemnly, then told me to follow him.

We walked into the grove that we work in and I sat down on the log. He said that he has something to tell me. He told me that I was a forest spirit in a past life. I told him that I wanted to believe him, but I also felt biased, and was unsure if this was true. He nodded, and said "then let me show you instead."

I then had a vision. A large forest. Very large, very deep. As it gets deeper, it gets quieter, the trees grow taller, the energy grows stronger and stronger.

Then, I come to the middle of the forest, and there lies a small, short, yet very wide tree in the middle of a small clearing. It felt peaceful there. Then I saw a spirit rise from the tree. It was really hard to describe... unlike anything I've seen. It had some kind of antler on its' head, and white spots/fur on its’ face, but then it's body was different?? Like I'm not entirely sure if it was a 4 legged creature, like an antelope or elk, or if was thin and long and stood on 2 legs.

Regardless, The Green Man told me to stop and think and feel. I had a hard time getting a feel for it's energy... then I materialized next to this spirit... it noticed me, then it kind of flickered around me, inspecting me. There was a surge of energy between us... and I realized the reason I couldn't get a read on its' energy... was because it was my own.

It smiled, and reached out its' arm. I took it. This always happens with GM, a way to connect energetically; we turn into our tree forms and share energy. I turned into my tree form, and I looked at this spirit as it turned into it's tree form, but it wasn't a tree, but a whole forest. I got smaller and smaller as it branched out and grew and sprouted into a massive forest, until all I could see and feel was the forest. And then the vision ended.

GM gave me some energy, also cleaning out some old, stagnant energy. I felt it all as he worked. I feel soo much better!

He also taught me how to make forest water, which I haven’t done yet. Maybe if it works I’ll post a little tutorial on how to do it :P

He told me that I should absolutely visit more, since I've been craving the forest. He said that we can work together a little bit more. I told him that I will, since I'm going to have a lot of free time in the upcoming weeks.

Then I introduced The Gentle Giant, my newest spirit guide, to GM. GM said that he is also of the forest. He isn't a forest creature, but he carries the energy of the forest with him. This makes sense to me, since every single time that I interact with him, I get major imagery/vibes of Fall/Autumn. He welcomed him graciously.

I also met with Prince. He was very excited to see me. We made some brief small talk. I asked about how the Court is doing, because he has seemed busy lately. He enthusiastically nodded, saying that the Earth is waking up, and thus so is his court. He apologized for not talking lately, saying that he just hasn't had the time nor energy to leave the forest. I told him it's okay, and that I would actually be visiting the forest more often. He said that we should definitely spend some time together next time I'm here, which I agreed to. He gave me a little bit of fae energy, and then told Strix and Trixie, my pixies, some instructions. Actually those two were really happy to be back. They said that they now feel more energized and recharged after being back in the court, since they're with me now.

But yeah! Big big day! I’m really glad I decided to visit; I really needed to clear my head and recharge. Plus, I just really missed the energy of the forest. I’m very excited to be working with The Green Man again!

Also... this is the first time that I’ve really encountered anything in regards to my past lives. Last year, I had a thought that maybe I could be an old tree or forest spirit in a past life, which is why I was hesitant to accept what GM told me today. But a vision is much easier to discern than just words, lol. I’m going to have to do some thinking about this, and what it means for me. Past lives is something that is very new to me. 

Anyways, I think that’s it for now! I’m finishing up my finals this week and then I get to relax for a little while.

I hope that everyone has a good day!

"Beauty In The Craziness Of Life"

You aren’t here, though. I wonder if you see it from where you are. I look at that painted sky and wonder if we’re looking up at the same time, if we’re looking at the same clouds and the same blazing colors. I wonder if you’re thinking of me just as I’m thinking of you. I know that in another life, we’d be out there together, dipping our hands into glass and finding joy and comfort in each other as the light fades to purple and grey and black. But instead I’m here and you’re there, and come morning, I won’t even be here anymore.

The beauty is fitting, I think. Blazing and brilliant and beautiful and fleeting. Just like us.

I’ll see you again. I know it won’t be the same, but I’ll see you. I won’t let this be the end, as long as you’re still waiting for me when I come back.

Please wait for me.

Until then,