#3.12.2021

Ren was nervous.

He had never tried this before.

It wasn’t his style, not in Medical school, undergrad or even high school. Ren wasn’t the guy people found charming, or handsome, or understanding. Any girl he fucked was just that, a girl, and he told them straight up he wasn’t going to talk to them after.

But now there’s you.

Waltzing into his life, with no fucking warning, burrowing into his cold heart. Ren thought you would be a quick fuck, something pretty to see when he had the time, that was it! You seemed to be that way too, young and smart. Still working through school, didn’t have time to be chasing men.

He was lucky you even gave him the time of day, after you rocked his world. And every night after that, your silky cunt clenching around his cock. Ren felt like passing out just thinking about it, hot and bothered as he sat at his desk.

All the patients were gone for the day, he had finished his chart work. Nursing staff had bid their goodbyes, telling him to have a good weekend or whatever. Ren tapped on the desk with his pen, the only sound in the room now that the halls were empty.

“This is stupid,” he muttered, throwing down the pen to cradle his face. It had been four days since he spoke to you, 6 days (if you’re counting) since he saw you. Ren had tried to play it cool, you usually texted him a few days after fucking to say hello and let him know what was going on.

Or that one time you called him because you were busy with your hands. And you both ended up just existing together on the phone, you doing homework while he read through charts. Talking like you were face to face.

Radio silence now.

Maybe you were done... it would be understandable. There were much younger, more emotionally available men in your corner. Or women, don’t think he forgot about that time you told him about. That he now fantasies about when he’s lonely...

Ren was no prize, from the outside yes he was attractive. Unconventional, but broad, thick, nice hair, deep voice, big hands, a ‘monster cock’. But he wasn’t what people called good company.

He grabbed his phone out, wincing when he saw no messages from you. The last thing in your thread is a message from Ren saying ‘have a good day.’

Ren typed out a message, didn’t want to seem too desperate.

Hey, I just got off work. Can you be at my place tonight?

Nailed it.

He waited.

Waited.

Watched the message sit there for 3,4,5,6... oh no 10 minutes?

👍🏼

———

Ren was so excited, he didn’t respond to your emoji. It would seem too forward, so he left it at that and grabbed everything for the weekend. Stopping at a few stores for supplies, some bottles of wine and cheese.

Do women like flowers?

You would be the first woman he had been with sexually for longer than a month... do they expect flowers?

What if you’re allergic?

“Fuck,” he grabbed some anyway, if he panicked he could throw them out the window before you arrived. Ren rode up the elevator in silence, trying to steady his breathing so he could focus on getting the apartment ready.

Fumbling with the keys when he made it to his door, Ren let out a sigh of relief when he got in. Setting everything on the countertop, he popped open a bottle. Taking a few swigs to make sure it wasn’t poisonous.

He decided to put the flowers in a vase, how he had a vase he wasn’t sure, that way they could look like a gift to himself in case you hated them. No big deal, he would just be crushed if you did. Ren took a quick shower, after a small workout so his muscles would be on display for you.

Ren noticed when he was naked and you basked in each other’s embrace, you liked to trace his shoulders and biceps. Fingering the veins that laid under his skin, cording down to his wrists. Before you’d suck on his thick fingers...

A knock at the door drew him away from his pinning, maybe he would get you to lay with him tonight. Long enough to smell your hair while you drifted off like a tired, fucked out little kitten. He schooled his features before opening the door, ready to see what gorgeous outfit you wore this evening for him.

“Hi, don’t touch me I’m sick,” you shoved past him. Sneezing into a tissue you held in your hand, he watched with startled eyes as you dropped a bag on the floor. Looking around the room confused, you looked awful. Cheeks red, nose colored, lips puffy and swollen, your eyes were tired. Decorated with under eye bags, your hair was a mess. Separated into two twin braids down your scalp, it looked like you slept in them. Creating a halo of frizz.

You coughed into your elbow, “Whys it so dark in here?”

Ren blinked, shutting the door and approaching you slowly. Shocked to see you moving around his kitchen like you owned it, flipping on more lights. Taking a mug from the cabinet, he watched you turn on his keurig.

“Pretty flowers,” you nodded to the vase, “Your girlfriend get them for you?”

“Are you,” he approached slowly, “Are you sick?”

You laughed, well tried. It was a hoarse rasp, something that shredded your once sweet melodic laugh, “No shit sherlock, you should be a detective instead of a doctor.”

He watched you make yourself some tea, handing you a box of bags that you couldn’t reach. Ren was shocked, you didn’t tell him you were sick. He would’ve understood, and how could you be still enchanting when you looked like a drown rat?

You sighed in relief as you inhaled the scent. “Sorry, I’m grumpy. Been fighting this for like a week now, did you get me sick?”

He shook his head quickly, “No-I didn’t.”

“Well, you do work at a hospital,” you mumbled, sipping slowly before waltzing out of the kitchen. Ren followed you slowly, watching you snatch a blanket, the same one you laid on when he fingered you on the couch.

Curling yourself into it before kicking open the door to his bedroom. Setting your mug down on the nightstand, after finding a coaster, and plopping down in his bed.

“So, you wanted me to come over?”

“Yeah.”

You both stared in silence, Ren watched you bite your lip. Suddenly nervous even though you waltzed in like you owned the place. “Look,” you coughed for a moment, “We can have sex, I just can’t do anything. So I can just bend over or whatever, then I can leave after.”

“What?”

“That’s why you called me, right? We haven’t had sex in a week, and you have flowers and wine and all that so, here you go. Be warned, I don’t have matching underwear on tonight.”

Ren watched as you tried to underdress, struggling to present yourself to him. He rushed over to you, pinning you to the mattress, “Hey-stop,” you coughed hard, “Don’t push on my chest, just wait a second and then you can do what you need to.”

“No,” Rens voice was sharp, even startling himself for a moment, “Stop undressing.”

You looked at him confused, your glassy eyes now clouded with insecurity and regret. Ren had to stop you, explain that he didn’t call you over for just sex.

Well, he wanted to have sex, but that wasn’t the main point. Ren watched you recoil, swallowing thickly as your eyes brimmed with tears, “Okay, um. Well I’ll just go, I’ll see ya around.”

You swung off the bed, letting the blanket fall. Ignoring your tea that was steaming on the table, he chased after you. Grasping the back of your hoodie, ignoring the sounds of your sniffling.

“No, stay. Please,” he wrapped an arm around you, keeping you flush with his chest, “I-I just wanted to see you.”

You felt you wiggle, turning to look up at him with wide eyes. Sneezing, very adorably he might add, before speaking, “Really?”

“Yes, I am a doctor, I could take care of you...”

“Oh.”

Wrong thing to say...

“I missed you, or whatever.”

You stayed still.

“And,” he mumbled, “The flowers are for you, I didn’t know you weren’t feeling great. I would’ve gotten some food that wasn’t wine and cheese.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, looking over at the counter from his arms. Rens heart swelled when you leaned your head against his chest, both of you sighing in relief.

“First thing we are doing,” Ren tugged you back to the bedroom, “Is getting you in a bath while I burn your clothes.”

———

ROMANCE THE DR REN WAY is a disaster.

character dynamics with dynamic poses, and the iconic Hot Room scene. I wonder if the creators knew what eggs they were cracking with that episode lol.

Skiing - Part 2 Gucci & Dr. Ren M.D.

TW: INFIDELITY (only Gucci)

You barely slept, unable to swallow the guilt that had settled. You slept with a married man, who had you meet him in an extra room. Separate from his family, so he could fuck some random woman he met.

It felt disgusting, knowing you were that random woman.

What felt even worse, was how his touch lingered. His fingertips tracing every line of your skin, plush lips tasting every inch. Tongue laving at your nipples while you cried, legs open wide for his cock.

Maurizio made you cum three times, fucked you on the bed, on the couch, bent over by the fire. Digging his hands into your hair, cracking your back so you would arch for him.

Cumming deep inside your cunt, moaning when he saw it dribble down the back of your thighs. A thick finger swiping it up, to bring it back where it belonged.

No amount of hot water could scrub the shame, the tingle of your skin from his words. How beautiful you were, how he loved your cunt, ‘such a wonderful little dove’, ‘you taste of heaven’.

Wiping your tears away with the pads of his thumb, a soft kiss as you walked out. You looked back from down the hall, seeing him leave moments later. Hair put together, glasses back on, barely looking like he spent the past hour fucking someone.

Must be a normal thing.

———

“Holy shit,” you groaned, legs sore from more than skiing. Barely able to get dressed for another day, you debated just staying in the lounge. But you spent so much to be here, and all your friends were going.

You didn’t want to be alone, in case Maurizio decided to see you. You promised yourself you would t indulge him again, it was wrong. Even though it felt so right, so delicious.

Maybe one kiss wouldn’t hurt.

“Come on, let’s go get food,” your friends yelled, filing out the doors to the halls. Ski suits dangling around your waists, you carried your boots under one arm. Hooking arms with one of your companions, he knew you were having trouble walking.

Didn’t know why, but he was helping you.

Making you laugh, smile, feel so much better. You had almost forgotten about your shame until you made it to the lounge. Making full eye contact with Maurizio, who looked just as shocked.

You stalled for a moment, gasping at him. On his arm was a child, maybe 4-5 in age. Clinging to her father, and there standing next to him was the woman on the slopes. Who was wearing all red, now dressed in even finer clothes.

Maurizio smirked at you, seeming to not care that he was with a child and wife. “Trouble on the slopes?”

You opened your mouth, shocked he even spoke to you. Weren’t you supposed to keep things like this under wraps? Next to you, your friend piped up, “She must’ve fallen yesterday. You know how it is, women are clumsy.”

“Real women aren’t,” the woman sniped, snatching Maurizios free arm and dragging him away. You glared after her, wounded by her calling you a fake woman. Who did she think she was?

“She seemed high strung.”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, “I’m sure she’s a bundle of joy.”

———

You spent the rest of the day with no incident, didn’t see Maurizio or his frigid bitch of a wife on the slopes. Nor did you see his adorable daughter, instead you could focus on the landscapes.

The sloping mountains, snow banks, pine trees, fresh air, little tracks from animals burrowing for the winter. You were in awe, it really was a luxury. Something you wish you had more of, like Maurizio said.

You deserved it all.

Dinner was beautiful again, all of you mourning the end of your trip. Knowing that tomorrow you’d have to drive back down the mountain. To head to your small apartments in the bustling city of Milan.

You excused yourself from the group, needing to use the powder room. Not paying attention to your surroundings, leaving you alone on the walk down the dimly lit halls.

A whistle drew your attention, spinning around to see the culprit. Much to your surprise, Maurizio was walking down the hall. Hands stuffed in his pockets, a lush black turtleneck, some tight pants. Even under the darkness you could see his smirk, blue eyes devouring your form.

“Dove, you’ve been avoiding me.”

You scoffed, “I wonder why?”

He shrugged, now standing directly in front of you. The smell of his cologne filling your nostrils, the cut of his shirt showing his impressive frame. Lowering your defenses, “Why did you have to be married?”

“That’s not important.”

“Your wife is here,” you hissed, “She knows you did something!”

“I’m sure she does,” he brushed a stray hair from your face. Cupping your with a warm palm, “It wouldn’t be the first time, but you’re the first one I’ve come back to sweet dove.”

“Oh.”

“Shall we go for a walk,” he held his arm for you to take, “That way we can discuss our future.”

———

You don’t know how it happened, but you ended up in his bed again.

Panting and wailing under him, ankles on his strong shoulders. Cunt filled repeatedly by his cock, babbling how beautiful you were. So perfect, fit so well with him. His sweet dove, no one else could have you now.

He filled you with his cum over and over, well into the early morning. Telling you his wife didn’t matter, not when he had you. She could be handled tomorrow, bought off with another trip, maybe another child.

Maurizio walked out with you, telling you how wonderful you were. You assumed that would be it, you were his holiday romp. Never to be seen again, that was better to keep it how it was.

In the past.

You slept soundly on the drive home, smiling happily when you were dropped off. Grabbing your bags from the car, they felt heavier than before. But you were tired, from being thrown around in every position Maurizio wanted you in.

Throwing your bags on the ground of your apartment, you walked to the answering machine. A few messages, you clicked yes to listen.

Hello, this is Collette from Mr. Maurizio Gucci’s office. He was hoping to hear from you, there’s a package being sent to your residence that he wanted to discuss. Here’s his direct line for your convenience. Have a nice rest of your day!

You almost pushed Belle down the mountain, face flooded with embarrassment. Of course, your daughter heard you begging to be fucked. And of course, it had to be when you called her dad, Daddy. Because you have daddy issues, hence the husband who is 14 years your senior.

Its fine.

This is fine.

“Hey mom,” Belle stood with you at the base of the mountain, watching Ren and Odin play in the snow. “Do you want to hear my new ringtone?”

“Sure.”

“I think you’re gonna love it,” she smiled, “It’s for you and dad.”

She held it to your ear, “Fuck my ass Daddy!”

You snatched her phone, furiously locking it to stop the sound of you wailing loud enough to hear through the WALLS. Completely ignoring how she recorded her dad growling afterwards, you ran off towards Ren.

Belle squealing when you took off, “Mom! Give it back!”

“No!”

“MOM!”

“Kylo!”

Ren looked over his shoulder, frowning when he saw you running over the snow. Your hand extending Belles phone as high as you could hold it. Even though Belle was taller than you (thanks Kylo!), a hand square on her chest to hold her off like a rabid dog.

“What the fuck is going on over there?”

Belle screamed, probably alerting the resort security.

“Mom took my phone!”

“Were you being a shit?”

You wiggled away from Belle, throwing her phone as hard as you could towards Ren. She paled when it slid to his knees, Ren was holding Odin. Looking down at it with little interest, even though his daughter now had you pinned to the cold snow.

She cackled when she got you down, sitting on your back. “Dad, can I have my phone back?” You squirmed under her, jesus. What were you feeding her? Is she always going to be this strong? Is it just in the Ren genes, would Odin overpower you??

You heard snow boots coming over, accepting your fate. Maybe the cold snow would cool the heat rising in your cheeks, because Belle was absolutely going to show her dad what she heard. And he would probably laugh and say something gross.

Odins little body fall over yours, mimicking Belle. You heard your back crack, groaning under their weight. Now you would be hurt, emotionally and physically, all the way in Italy. With your demon children and Satan himself.

“Why are you tackling your mother?”

“Because she’s a whore.”

Ren growled, “Don’t call her that! Who do you think you are?”

Belle scoffed, “You call her that all the time! You just don’t think I can hear it!”

“Kylo,” you whined, “Get them off me please.”

The children stood, soon you were lifted by your husband. Looking down at you concerned, brow furrowed as he brushed snow off you. “Belle, apologize to your mother.”

She rolled her eyes, “You guys should be apologizing to me.”

Ren scoffed, “What is going on with you? We’re on vacation, do I need to send you home to go be with your birth mother?”

You grabbed the phone from Ren, stuffing it in your breast pocket so neither of them had it. “I need a drink,” you push past the stalemate. waving kisses to your son who was holding Rens hand.

———

Belle hounded you all evening for her phone, but you kept it tucked away. Staying on Rens arm the entire night, at dinner in the lounge you were half on his lap. Your children sitting across from you, Odin snoring by the fire pit after having a s’more.

You clung to Ren, kissing behind his ear while the flames flickered out. He chuckled at you, “What’s wrong, Love?”

“Nothing,” you trailed a finger up his arm, “I’m just tired.”

“Let’s get them to bed,” he kissed your forehead, standing up without you. Ren ushered Belle out of her chair, even though she was half asleep too. You listened to her groan, “I’ll carry Odin, you can carry her.”

You both dragged the children up to the rooms, Belle was dead weight in her fathers arms. Carrying her like she was nothing, while you struggled to hold your 60 pound baby.

Ren carried Belle in carefully, setting her on the bed, you watched him with tears eyes as he laid her. Like she was five all over again, kissing her forehead. You tucked in Odin in the same fashion, swapping with Ren so you could love on your daughter.

It was hard to believe she wasn’t yours, you’d spent so much time with her. Belle was your baby, before you had a real baby. Defending her from Callie, wanting to share moments with her. Fighting to be a mother figure in her eyes, and it paid off.

“Come to bed, love.”

You let Ren carry you away, throwing you on your large bed.

He pulled off his clothes, “So, why did Belle attack you earlier?”

You laughed, curling into the sheets, still fully dressed. Ren grumbled at that, tugging your clothes off as your tried to burrow.

“Lovely,” he cooed, burying his face into your bare breasts. “Why did Belle upset you today?”

You shushed him, letting out an exhausted sigh.

“Why’d we get an attached room?”

———

i fucking love gucci. also DIDNT PROOFREAD

HELLO NURSE ANON I LOVE AN MISS YOU 🥺

the vaccine??? i’m so proud. you know who else is proud of his babygirl?

Dr. Ren. MD.

“Hey baby,” you asked from the couch, clicking through channels while snacking on some chips.

Ren was fumbling around in the kitchen behind you, looking for some snack you know he ate yesterday but he didn’t believe you. “What is it, Love?”

“Is the hospital doing vaccines?”

“For normal people? No.”

You snorted, “That was rude.”

“Well,” he walked behind the couch pulling your hair back so you would look at him. “It’s not my fault I’m more important than you.”

You scowled at him, patting your cheek before placing a kiss on your forehead. “Let’s go to bed, I want to be the little spoon.”

———

A few days later you got a phone call at work, the front desk girl said it was an emergency. You went back to your office, “Hello, this is-,”

“Come home.”

You held the phone from your face, confused. “Um, who is this?”

“You know who the fuck,” hoarse coughing, “Jesus, come home.”

“Kylo? Are you sick?”

“No.”

A fit of coughing, followed by what sounded like dry heaving. You had to hold the phone from your ear, he sounded like he was on the bathroom floor. “Kylo, did you leave work?”

“Yes,” he sighed, “I sneezed on a patient, and now I can’t get off the floor without wanting to pass out.”

“Why did you have your mask off?”

“I couldn’t fucking breathe!”

A pause.

“Can you please come home, I need you. And soup, I need soup.”

———

You made a few stops on the way home, receiving many texts from Ren asking for specific items. Which includes, NyQuil, DayQuil, Chicken soup (not can shit), Vicks Vapor rub, you also grabbed some new blankets and fresh sheets since he would be sweating in the ones at home.

The symptoms of the vaccine were different for everyone, but it was common knowledge that the day after would be rough. Cold sweats, fevers, usually some drowsiness, but Ren seemed to get all of them.

Even after saying it wouldn’t affect him.

You stepped into the house, greeted with a trail of clothes that he must’ve stripped off. Putting the soup you bought from the deli on the stove, so it would be warm for him. Starting a pot of chamomile tea, for you and him.

“Hey,” you called out, “You alive?”

A groan.

“Are you able to come out here? Or do I need to treat you like a baby?”

“A baby, please.”

Of course, you rolled your eyes. Grabbing up his clothing on the walk to the bedroom. The sheets were dragged off the bed, leading towards the bathroom. Where your big, strong, naked man was laying in the fetal position on the white tile.

His normally deep eyes were glazed over, face flush with the floor. Rens lips were in a pout, his skin was sallow and slicked with sweat. He coughed as you walked closer, not even bothering to cover it like he usually would.

Your normal germaphobe gave zero shits.

“Hi,” you whispered.

“Hi,” he rasped, “Do you have soup?”

You nodded, walking to the counter. Grabbing a brush and hair ties, Ren whimpered when you came near him. Protesting you getting close to him, you tsked. Gathering his sweat slicked hair into a braid and bun, “There we go, come on big boy. Let’s get you in some pajamas.”

“I get too hot.”

“I’m sure,” you patted his back, trying to hold in a gag, “Actually, how about a tub first?”

It took many promises of back scratches to get him in the tub. He was too comfy on the floor, but he relaxed in the tub. Letting you wipe his face, Ren kept trying to tug you in the water with him. Then he sulked when it didn’t turn into sexy time.

“Do you want to eat in bed or on the couch?”

“Will you lay with me?”

You sighed, shaking your head, “No, I have work to do.”

He whined, “Please?”

“I don’t want you rolling on top of me, Kylo.”

Ren scowled at you, “But I’m sick.”

“You aren’t even sick, you got a vaccine! Your fever will break in a few days and you’ll be okay.”

He said nothing, just stared at you betrayed.

“Fine.”

———

You spent the rest of the day letting Ren drape his sweaty, sometimes frozen, body over yours. Hands pawing at your clothes, tearing them off so he could feel your skin. Whenever you tried to move he would growl like a dog.

Ren ate his soup, drank his tea, had way more than the appropriate dose of NyQuil, and he finally slept.

With you, trapped underneath him.

———

GET YO VACCINES GUYS-THIS WAS EXAGGERATED YOU WONT DIE FROM THE SHOT.

the first day sucks! you will feel like you have the flu! stay home until your fever breaks!

December 3, 2021 - Day 167

Date: 3 December 2021

Duration: 55 minutes at 10:42 PM

Depth:

I have hit an invisible wall within the intuitive spaces of my mind. I have never before experienced such a meditation. I dived repeatedly into my mind only to reach a thick invisible mind wall that would deflect my meditation into a series of images.

The images had nothing to do with memories or dreams weaved out of memories. In fact, I can’t remember a single image. I don’t think Ethan Hunt of Mission Impossible series is supposed to commit to memory the self destructive mission stated in mysteriously placed devices. He is simply supposed to ‘accept’ after the recording says ‘should you choose to accept’.

I reached this invisible wall of images pretty quick with every dive of concentration. So quick that I didn’t complete any mind exercise, not even the opening prayer. Through the entire period of 55 minutes I kept attempting a deeply sincere conduct of meditation and I kept getting taken for an indefinite and intuitive world’s tour.