Mar 8, 2018
i love bigbang elitist
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i love bigbang elitist
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Junco in the snow
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KNOCK OUT
3-13-18 (Tuesday)
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I’m trippin... I came to this realization that a lot of the events that have led me to where I am now could very well be the result of a manic episode... I pretty much dropped everything and moved to the bay area. I feel lucky and grateful that I ended up in a situation that I am happy with. If I never moved I would have never had access to the resources I have up here and I know I would NEVER have chosen to pursue a career as an electrician.
It all just makes sense though. It explains a lot and I feel a bit relieved. A little creeped out with myself but nonetheless relieved. I think M came into my life as I was ramping up towards my first manic episode. I remember having an insane amount of energy with only getting 3 hours of sleep. I would wake up at like 5 in the morning and be ancy and either dance or write music. I thought I was in love so I attributed all these symptoms to her. The euphoria, the depression, all of it. It was all just me. I should probably make my way back to my family. I like it up here but everyone misses me so much and I kinda shocked everyone with my decision to move. I think with this realization I can develop healthy coping skills. I don’t know if I’m full blown anything but shit a lot of things make sense now. I don’t want to be on medication so I’m just gonna navigate this the best I can but I’ve realized that as much as I want to isolate myself its probably not the best thing for me.