To my canon self
“It’s okay, you don’t have to force yourself to be feminine when it hurts you.”
By: Mao Arimura (he/him)
For context, in canon I was revealed to experience gender dysphoria when puberty hits, and that’s why I wanted to be a masculine, prince-like idol. I never wanted to be feminine, and having my body change in that direction hurt me. However, Gakuen Idolmaster’s narrative frames me as a girl who uses masculinity as a shield to distance myself away from my “true” feminine nature. This is reflected everywhere in canon lore, including in the Fluorite MV, my main inspiration for this piece. Even when canon says I can be both masculine and feminine, the problem is that I never wanted to be both.
Whenever I’m reminded of canon, I can’t help but think that my canon self deserves better.
I’m the one on the left, and my canon self is on the right.
