#293.drawings

Think of this as an adaptation of this post I wrote a while ago.

(Dysphoric voice) I don't wanna look at the last page... I know it's great for our standards quality-wise but it's also painful to look at because of my dysphoria...

That aside, I really like Haruki 🌈's way of drawing stuff! Page 4 ended up being more detailed than we intended because she got carried away, but either way, the point still stands!

(we honestly don't know how to write image descriptions for this. More complicated than what we’re used to writing IDs for. If you want to write them for us then feel free! We can also help with the names because we know people may struggle with identifying our fictives.)

- Kogane Tsukioka 👑 (she/her)

Credit:

Haruki Ikuta 🌈 (@yumemoyou-canvas): drawing + editing for pages 1, 3, 4

To my canon self

“It’s okay, you don’t have to force yourself to be feminine when it hurts you.”

By: Mao Arimura (he/him)

For context, in canon I was revealed to experience gender dysphoria when puberty hits, and that’s why I wanted to be a masculine, prince-like idol. I never wanted to be feminine, and having my body change in that direction hurt me. However, Gakuen Idolmaster’s narrative frames me as a girl who uses masculinity as a shield to distance myself away from my “true” feminine nature. This is reflected everywhere in canon lore, including in the Fluorite MV, my main inspiration for this piece. Even when canon says I can be both masculine and feminine, the problem is that I never wanted to be both.

Whenever I’m reminded of canon, I can’t help but think that my canon self deserves better.

(Artist: Mao Arimura, he/him, @fluorite-prince)

This was back when we found a specific moraghid fic on ao3

This only applies to my headspace body, and not how I see myself in my subsystem’s headspace. By default, I’d look no different from canon me unless I decide to change how I look, or an outside influence also affected my form there. That means I have the option to change forms voluntarily there, and not anywhere else.

☀️-Nichika helped me draw this a while ago just so I can have some visual representation of these permanently-staying parts (horns, claws, tail). My appearance can vary a lot even within the same general area in the spectrum, and this drawing shows just one presentation of it. That’s just how my physical changes work in general, probably until we have enough visual references to nail down the smaller details properly.

The melting feeling can be dissipated if we focus enough but that seems to be temporary and we don’t notice it anyways if we focus on some other stuff