#25day20

Suptober 2025 - Day 20 | Haunted

Have you had your daily fix of pain yet?

~~~

Dean thrust the shovel into the dirt. “It doesn’t end like this,” he told the covered form on the ground. “It can’t. I—Look...” another shovel of dirt, “if there’s one thing this job has taught me, it’s that people rarely get what they deserve. I know that, but, dammit,” another shovel of dirt, “I thought—you know, you’d think that after all the times we’ve saved the world, we’d actually get the chance to live in it for a while.” Another shovel of dirt. “Dammit, Cas, we deserved to be happy.” Another shovel of dirt. “You deserved to be happy.” Another shovel of dirt. “And I know—I know that people don’t usually get what they deserve,” another shovel of dirt, “but this time, I’m gonna make sure we do. I—I’m gonna…”

When he had dug deep enough that he didn’t have to worry about animals digging Cas up but shallow enough that he could feel like it was temporary, he lowered Cas’s body into the grave. He stayed on his hands and knees beside it, trying to make himself push the dirt back into the hole.

The first handful was the hardest; it felt rude. Why was he throwing dirt on Cas? It felt wrong. He tried to remind himself that it wasn’t Cas. It was a body. Cas was in the Empty. 

It didn’t help. It just made Cas feel more out of reach. But his body was right there. It was right there, and Dean was throwing dirt on it.

He pushed more dirt into the hole, every movement a fight against his instincts. About halfway through, the feeling began to shift. The more dirt he pushed, the more he felt past the point of no return. Now, the decision was made. Now, he was doing this. Now, he couldn’t get the dirt in the hole fast enough.

There was a new unexpected battle when he stood and turned to return to the bunker. He thought he’d done the hard part. How was the struggle so fresh? And yet, every step away from the grave felt wrong. What? his insides demanded. Was he just gonna leave Cas out here? In a hole? Covered in dirt? He was right there. Cas was right there, and Dean was walking away!  He was just gonna leave him, and it felt wrong, and—and…

In the garage, Dean beat the dirt from his hands, chucked the shovel into the trunk, and slammed it shut. He brushed past Sam on his way back into the bunker.

“Dean?” There was an unspoken question. Is it done? Are you okay?