#230505

RM's Post ❇️

안녕하세요 여러분 오랜만입니다 무탈하신지요 저는 시시콜콜하게 그럭저럭 잘 지내고 있습니다 현재를 살려고 부단히 노력합니다 제가 어떤 사람인지 더 확인해가는 발견해가는 요즘입니다 하고싶은 말이 한없이 차오르다가도 금세 잊어버려요 저희가 세상에 나온지 십년이 되는 지금 여러분들은 어떠신가요 괜찮으실까요 종종 아니 자주 궁금합니다 안부가, 생각이, 슬픔이, 희망과 절망이, 지금 무엇을 믿고 있는지, 믿고 싶은지. 무엇을 좇는지 계절은 잘 느끼고 계신지 몇번 말씀드렸듯 갈수록 입을 여는 것이 참 어려워요 잘 모르겠어요 그저 어른이 돼가며 침묵을 배우고 있다고 믿고 있어요 많은 것들이 슬프다가도 기쁘고 기쁘다가도 그저 슬프고 예전의 제가 했던 말들 영상들 보며 혼자 낯가려보고 이젠 좀처럼 기억나지 않는 무뎌지는 것들이 참 아쉽고 허허롭고 이상하고 자신이 있다가도 없고 막 그래요 그냥 이렇게 있고 싶은가봐요 솔직히 다녀온 뒤 어떨까 궁금하고 두려워요 시간은 참 빠르고 모든 건 변하고 저도 변하고 더이상 무책임하게 모든 사랑을 요구드리거나 엉엉 매달리고 싶지만은 않은 걸요 사랑을 찾아 헤매기보다 제가 사랑으로 있으면 노력으로 절 가꾸면 사랑이 자연스레 찾아올 거라 믿고 싶어요 곧 십주년이네요 시간과 마음의 먼지더께가 쌓일수록 점점 더 어려워만 지는 것이 있다는 사실이 참 슬프지만 어떻게 보면 마음과 마음의 무게라는 게 그렇지 않을까요 그만큼 우리가 나눈 조각이 크다는 거겠죠 저는 매일 소박하게 감사드리며 무엇이 내 일부였는지 상기해보면서 늘 그래왔듯 잘 지내고 있겠습니다 윌 해브빈 피피 여러분도 힘든 때가 많겠지만 많이 고통스럽기도 하겠지만 잘 지내주셔요! 종종 자주 또 궁금해하고 있을게요 제 글과 편지는 제가 여러분께 사랑을 전하는 그때그때의 방식인 것 같아요. 지금 제 모양은 이런 듯 비 조심하시고 ! 감기 조심 ! 또 잊어버리실 때 즈음 슥 찾아올게요 건강해요 ! (https://weverse.io/bts/artist/2-118889416)

Hello everyone It's been a while Are you doing well? I'm just living my life day-by-day, just getting by fine. I'm always making an effort to live in the present.

These days I have been confirming and discovering who I am as a person. I feel all the things I want to say endlessly bubble up inside me, only to then forget them the next moment. This moment, where we're approaching the completion of ten years since we came out into the world. How does it feel for you? Are you doing okay?

Occasionally, no actually, quite often, I wonder about you. How you're doing, what you're thinking, your sadness, hope and despair, what you believe in right now, what you want to believe in, what you're chasing. Whether you're really feeling the seasons. As I've said many times before, the more time passes, the harder it becomes to open my mouth. I just don't know, that's all. I believe that as we get older, we learn silence.

A lot of things are sad but also happy at the same time. Happy but also, at the same time, just sad. I look at old videos, at the things I said in the past, and feel unfamiliar with myself. There are things that I can't remember for the life of me, that have become dull, and that makes me feel sad, empty now. It feels weird. I feel confident but I also don't, it just goes on. It seems like I just want to stay this way.

Honestly, thinking about what it will be like when we get back makes me both curious and afraid. Time moves so fast and everything changes. Including me. I don't think I want to just recklessly demand all the love there is, or keep clinging to it forever anymore. Instead of wandering in search of love, if I could exist with love, if I could cultivate myself through hard work, I would like to believe that love will naturally come looking for me. It will soon be our tenth anniversary. As the layers of dust of both time and emotion accumulate, things just get harder and harder. That feels quite sad to me. If you think about it, it could just be the weight of one heart with another. Maybe that's what it is. It just shows that that's how big the piece we've shared between us is, right? I will keep living, doing well, living simply everyday, with gratitude, thinking about what formed a part of me, as I always have. Will have been pp*

You guys also probably have a lot of hard times and feel a lot of pain. But please be well! Occasionally, often, I will keep wondering about you. I think that my posts and letters are a way for me to convey my love to you in those moments. This is what I'm like right now. Be careful not to get wet in the rain! And not to catch a cold!

When you're just about to forget, I'll come right to you again Stay healthy!

(T/N: *Might stand for 'past participle' or 'passive participle'.)