ok, so. there are a few things that need to be said, and I'll have a little rant about everything and then try to do a little tl;dr. keep in mind, that this is solely my opinion, and Iām going to be talking about my view on Xerath. of course, youāre free to disagree, just donāt come to me trying to prove me wrong.
through his entire life, it seems to me, that Xerath was a very attentive and curious person. he was perceptive, talented, had no trouble learning new things and was constantly pushing himself to do more and more, to know more and more, which eventually led to his downfall, as his ambitions and greed grew as well. one might say that the boy was close to being a prodigy, but, sadly, when youāre that attentive at a young age, you understand many harsh things about life quite soon ā especially, if youāre living a life of a slave. it was stated, that he vowed to not be treated like any other slave, and it happened even before his fatherās death, when he was still a child, so you can imagine the grasp on his situation that he had at the time. educated and taken to be the architectās assistant, he now had the access to the Great Library, and if he dared to speak to an emperorās child ā I can safely say he wasnāt only taking some of the scrolls for his master only. imagine being so bold, not even a death threat would change your decision to talk to a prince, even though youāve had the best intentions. Was this meeting luck or destiny, what wouldāve happened if Xerath just walked past, thatās for someone else to imagine. I do believe that Azir would be dead in the desert with his brothers and Xerath would remain a nameless person, only plotting something awful for his master.
But, fortunately, they were acquainted ā and yes, Iām saying fortunately, because (and you can pry this from my cold dead hands) they became the most important people to one another, saving each other countless times, and pushing each other to go even further with the things they tried to pursue. Now having access to everything the prince had the access to, plus being his sort-of advisor, before Azir was actually crowned, Xerath did exactly what his name meant ā he was sharing everything he knew, everything he learned, and everything he wanted to learn and find. and, as morbid as that sounds, they shared their first kill, after the caravan was attacked near the Oasis. That was the first time Xerath truthfully saved Azir from death, and it was way, way more innocent, that the ones to follow.
naturally, when promised something he was craving his entire life, he grabbed onto those words and held them very close to heart. through years of servitude and secrets, orchestrated plans and intrigues, it was a heavy weight. every single decision he did in favor of Azir then felt pointless after their quarrel, and of course it would be the thing to push Xerath over the edge.
but in that point in his life, promised his freedom, having the access to everything he wants to learn AND knowing he can get away with anything, since he could quite literally silence the bad tongues forever, Xerath was as free as he would truly get. it was that moment that he discovered magic ā unlocking sealed libraries, discovering dark arts for the first time, knowing he has to do something to protect his friend. and even though it sounds as if he only did it for himself, not to lose his position next to the only heir to the throne, Xerath truly believed it was for a friend.
and he did horrible things. using his growing magic powers, he killed, and killed, and killed. and managed to keep every single one of those a secret ā even after he summoned powerful spirits from the desert and bent their wills to his, destroying the empressā room with lightnings, killing her and her son, then murdering the emperor and his guards. and it wasnāt even the end, since to hide his guilt, he spread the rumours of mages of an entire region to be responsible for the deaths. Azir would definitely not approve of this, since it was his family after all, even though he probably didnāt like his parents that much, but in reality, that was the only chance for him to survive. And while the future emperor was learning to fight, Xerath, his soon-to-be advisor, continued to master his magic.
there would be no equal to him, except for, maybe, Nasus, in terms of knowledge and solutions of certain strategic objectives. He was cunning, he was smart, he managed to keep his growing desire for freedom a secret from anyone, but Azir. and as his conquest continued, Xerath remained in the capital, doing everything he could to gather more and more power. so when they finally got to the edge ā after decades of strong friendship, drifting apart, and Xerath was reminded of who he is, there was no turning back.
admittedly, his greed is to blame when it comes to making Azir say those words at his face. if only there were no secrets kept between them, if only Azir didnāt become proud and arrogant, if only Xerathās ambitions didnāt take the best of himā¦
and so the master plan was carefully made. previously working for the emperor secret mage was now turning the cards in his own favor, appealing to the people around him, making sure he would have support after his takeover. he was collecting magic, storing it inside him, to compromise the ritual. he managed to collect so much it was going to kill him, if he didnāt release it, and while hating Azir it seemed so easy to do.
but then he ruined everything.
now, itās confirmed, that there was a part of Xerath that didnāt want to do what he had done. He was watching his only friend burn alive, blasted away from the circle of Ascension, through genuine tears. He was grieving. If only he knew sooner!
and then he took the power all for himself, not even bothering trying to prevent the city from burning ā there would honestly be no way he could manage to control it at that point, and he knew the people would not support him after Azirās last law. but he kept the priests in place with his dark magic. imagine that ā youāre blasted with the energy of the sun, the energy that creates living gods, as it reshapes you, which is most definitely a very painful process, yet his abilities in magic were so strong he held the entire circle of priests in place, not allowing them to interrupt the ritual. and then he allowed them to die with the rest of the capital, as he was morphed into a new being, more powerful, invincible ā capable of fighting off both of the strongest Ascended at the same time. he was imprisoned once, in a sarcophagus that contained a spirit of living fire, and he broke out in a second. to then be forced to live centuries in the darkness of the tombs.
now Iām definitely saying, that this prison took a toll on both of them ā as Xerath twisted Renektonās mind in various ways, his own was also subjected to an awful influence. he lived in hatred, he was craving revenge and power, more and more power, and he, was once again, more than anything, desiring freedom.
itās safe to say that in his current state heās not human. heās not above being human, rather his Ascension took him a different route. as he says himself, he can see the forces that hold the universe together, and he continues to store energy in himself, as he is literally a vortex of arcane power. his dark arts were combined with the solar energy, and he must be overflowing with power, which threatens to kill him for good ā because no living being can possibly hold all that energy inside for so long. for now, Xerath is capable of using it and controlling it, and he will seek revenge to take the Disk for himself and hopefully use it to contain his powers. but never to limit them.
Ā TL;DR !Ā Ā
about: magic/energy.
he found out his talents for magic before Azirās brothers were killed, but he decided to learn it only after he knew Azir would be in danger. he truly wanted to protect his friend, NOT for his own benefits, thus he convinced Azir that he needed to learn how to fight.
through the decades, he became more and more powerful, using arcane magic, and fire magic, and spiritual magic, and everything he could find in the desert, from manuscripts to artefacts. and eventually he started using energokinesis, storing energy in his own body. to interrupt the Ascension ritual he needed to have a lot, and it was physically painful and hard to contain all of it, so he brought himself to point of no return. there would be no way he couldāve kept it and not blast Azir out of the sunlight. thatās important.
he knew there was no way he couldāve prevented the blast of the sun energy to wipe the capital out as soon as he was hit with it. he mightāve tried, but he didnāt see the point. more about that later.
now, specifically because he held so much energy in himself, the solar energy alloyed with his own, and that was the reason he gotā¦ unusual. his transformation amplified everything about his magical abilities, but it also filled him with so much energy, he couldnāt control all of it. he was energy itself, but just sane and sentient. he couldnāt be contained.
after he escaped the tomb, Xerath had to regain most of his powers and arcane energy, so he sought āheart of the desertā ā I presume he corrupted desert spirits and took their knowledge of everything that has happened. he continues to store energy in his new form, but, in reality, heās afraid that he would lose control. no one knows that, obviously. also he can brainwash and somewhat hypnotize people now. good to know.
about: relationships.
now, as much as I can see Xerath missing his mother a lot, the only person he ever truly cared about was Azir. he threw his entire life for his only friend, clinging to his promise, and he would do anything for him back then. that is, of course, until they grew too proud and arrogant. still, if Xerath knew what Azir was planning, there would never be such a conflict. Azir freed him, but in his condition, Xerath had no choice. he was genuinely grieving the death of his friend, albeit it being by his hand. it shouldnāt have come to this, but everything was too late.
but now, after centuries that drove him even more insane, he wants nothing but revenge. why? thatās a good question.
Ā about: current state.
and Iām not talking about āa glowing stone boyā, no. in Pantheonās story, Xerath is referred to as an inhumane creature, who wouldnāt even share a word. can you imagine, a person, described as āloving to talk, since he loves to hear the sound of his own voiceā being creepily silent? heās moving further and further away from humanity, and into the realm of beyond, so to say, as he is slowly dissolving into becoming pure energy. he is still sentient, of course, but right now heās as far from resembling a human, as he ever was, and it will only get worse with time. he greeds for power ā as in magic power and ruling over people, and he stops at nothing, just to get what he wants.
about: well, killing. and more relationships.
listen, he was insanely cruel when he was still human. his mind and ability to conspire things proved to be a great cover for everything he did, and now he doesnāt even need to cover up his murders. he is a killer. and heās not killing for a cause, or to prove a point, he kills because itās the easiest way to get what he wants. thereās surely little to no negotiating with him. heās not interested in having someone work with him and he will not allow anyone to get close to him.
Ā in conclusion! Xerath was once a loyal friend, a smart prodigious student, capable of learning anything insanely fast and pursuing his goals anywhere. he hated his position as a slave, and even though it might seem that he only did everything to benefit himself, he was actually hoping to be equal to his friend. however, his actions are not at all innocent or redeemable. he murdered to save one person, and it was probably over two dozen murders that he managed to do, until Azir became emperor. they drifted apart, but in reality they just needed to TALK. that led everything into a big freaking mess, Xerath did something very stupid, couldnāt control his magic and then became the Ascended ā kind of one of a kind (that was fun to write). he was crying for Azir, and if thatās not enough to prove in the end he didnāt want his death, I donāt know what is. but then came the imprisonment, and he was driven insane with power, with his new abilities, and now he is quite literally on the brink of infinity.
