#20smthng

If this isn’t fear may the decisions we make, make us daily. Grow with me and show the cosmos that stars shine even on the ground, z

To a college student, graduation is sort of a baptismal moment. All at once, you are pried from the clenched fists of the universities while you are simultaneously immersed into the real world. To be frank, it really sucks. Your student debt haunts over you like the grim reaper. Jobs dangle before you- just out of your reach. You return to the homes of your parents only to find a unique dynamic of independence and restriction. Life is no longer fun- it is utterly real. 

As a relatively recent graduate, I have learned a few things:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others. 

Yes, others have seemingly soared passed you with a glinting smile and a cheap briefcase. I promise you this- they are not happier than you. They just beat you to the imminent and perpetual grind. Develop a goal and pursue it. Do not race into a career that you will only regret later. 

2. Stop rushing. 

I know that we live in a materialistic society in which our value is determined by our possessions. Believe me, you will have an entire lifetime to acquire possessions (and consequently debt). Search for a job that will lead you down a path in which you see a future. Do not take a job for immediate gain. A job that corresponds with your career aspirations will most likely keep you bobbing above poverty level, but the experience will prove to be invaluable. 

3. Make mistakes.  Take Chances. 

I have to admit, I have read the phrase "make mistakes" in almost every Twenty-Something blog. However, do not simply make mistakes for the sake of doing so. More accurately, take chances. There is nothing wrong with taking a chance and failing. More often than not, these failures are key components in constructing our futures. Playing it safe will only take us down predictable, over-traveled paths. Our lives are not meant to be regurgitated semblances of lives lived before us. 

4. Do not look for love. 

Do not search for love. Love is not something to be pursued and ascertained. It is meant to be discovered in the most unlikely of places. It is meant to be shared and fostered. There is no timeline and there is no rush. You want to wait for someone who inspires you and drives you to be all that you can be. 

5. Do not be afraid to make life-altering decisions. 

It is OKAY to make decisions that will influence your future. You are now an adult. Unfortunately, no one can make these decisions for you. While college gives you an illusive sense of independence, graduation solidifies you as an adult. Quit your job and get a new one. Date new people and fall in love. Move out and then move back in with your parents when you can no longer afford rent. Buy a car and then struggle to make payments. Just know that these decisions are yours to make. Do not be afraid- just choose wisely. 

6. There is nothing wrong with working an "in-between" job much longer than anticipated. 

Working as a server, cashier, or barista has its benefits. First of all, you are making money. There is nothing diminishing about that. Yes, you have a college degree, but searching for the right job can take time. These jobs offer you a sense of financial security without trapping you a stifling role. You are offered a sense of flexibility and a modest source of income- appreciate it.

7. Stop looking at Facebook. Seriously, stop. 

Facebook is no longer filled with pictures of frat parties and selfies. Your newsfeed will quickly transform into a carefully documented list of everyone else's success. Facebook will become the bane of your existence. Just remember that Facebook is merely a vapid representation of what others want you to see. You know your friend with the selfie downtown at their "very important" job? They are probably working in a cubicle banging their head against their desk 40 hours a week.

8. Be proud of yourself.

Acknowledge your achievements and all you have accomplished. After college, life can become depressing. Friends fade away and life gets heavy. Never think, not for one second, that you do not matter. You will get knocked down more than you will be picked up- I am not denying this. By moving forward each day, you are proving how strong you are. 

Throughout most of our young-adult lives, we are told that we matter- that we can be anything. As we age, we become more resentful. We scroll through Facebook and mentally document how we rank in comparison to our peers. We scorn those who plunge into marriage too young and envy those who have better jobs. Facebook no longer serves as a mean of positive communication, but rather a constant reminder of how little or how much we have. 

I remember entering college thinking that I was going to be different. I wasn't going to fall into some lack-luster job that didn't matter. I was too smart. I was ready to take on the world. I was going to prove everyone wrong. 

Then I graduated.

It took a year before I realized the awfully bitter truth. There is not- nor will there ever be- an ideal job. There is no one waiting for you on the other side. There is no how-to guide or blog that will tell you which steps to take. 

Then the depression and anxiety began.

You begin to wonder what you are doing wrong. You feel as if everyone is moving ahead while you are standing still. Life begins to feel monotonous and static. Life becomes utterly unpalatable. Your "in-between" job has now become your "real" job. All your friends from college seem to fade away. The effort to stay connected begins to feel strained. So, now what?

You keep going.

This biggest mistake one can make is to become complacent. We live in a world where everything is readily available and accessible. Do not eliminate your goals because they appear too difficult. There is nothing worthwhile that comes easy. Forgive my usage of a trite saying, but it remains true. It is through these moments of discomfort that we discover who we are. Discomfort drives us forward. It keeps us from becoming comfortable. Enjoy your low-paying job and late-nights out. Relish your humble apartment. Laugh at your set-backs. Make mistakes and take chances. One day it will all be a distant memory.