So I’ve wanted to do this for a while. Write my autobiography for the world to read. Why? Because I absolutely adore talking about myself. If I could I would just talk about me, myself and I for hours and hours but sadly people grow bored way too easily when the conversation isn’t about them. (Because obviously they like talking about themselves too -_-)

Now normally I would just whine to Facebook but my friends get annoyed at me. And besides, some of the things I want to share do not need to be seen by my mother, who I unfortunately have as a friend. Yes, I’m idiot. No one should be friends with their mom on Facebook. But don’t judge me!

Anyway, I like stories. All the things I do in my life are so I can have a plethora (do you like that word? I is smart) of stories to tell so I seem awesome at cocktail parties. And at this time in my life, at 20 something, I’d like to share my stories with you. I have no followers at the moment but when I do, you’ll read this and go yeah, I’m glad I clicked follow so I can read all her awesome storyness.

You can call me Calliope van Tiel . Yes it’s a fake name. Yes I think it’s awesome. If I’m going to be anonymous I might as well do it in style.

This is my 5th tumblr. I can’t talk name the others since I’m anonymous but ones a fitblr but I’m still overweight :(. Another is a hair tumblr but I hate hair. The third is a nsfw hot porny tumblr where I post all the naughty things that come across my dash that I wish I was doing but don’t cause I’m alone. And the 4th is my basic tumblr. I just post things I like there. And this baby is my: if I was Mindy Kaling, I’d write my book just like this tumblr.

With all the introductions out of the way, come join me on a journey through my day to day, my sex life or lack there-of, and my random memories. It’ll be fun! You’ll love it. If you don’t, I’ll owe you a cookie*! Any flavor!

Oh and I’ll try to write daily but I don’t make promises I can’t keep ;).

K, I luv u, buh bye!

~Calliope The lying, the bitch and the whore-clothed.