05/03/2026
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05/03/2026

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Loss, 2026
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I wrote a whole long, multiple paragraph post about the passing of both my parents. Mom passing a week ago and Dad just 4 short months before, but as I was about to post it I realized I don't want to share all that info. Not now at least. I didn't delete it, the post is still in my drafts, and maybe I will post it at some point, but I think it was more beneficial for me to just sit there and write it all down. I do recognize how personal posts like this affect people, because I've read other peoples posts and they've had profound effects and resonated with me, but I'm just not ready to share that yet. So I will just share this photo of my Mom holding onto my hand from May 3rd. Just a few short weeks before she passed.
ゴールデンウィークの記録
一年ぶりに実家に帰れた。
子どもを親やばあちゃん、前住んでいた家のお隣さんなど色々な人に合わせることができて良かった。かなーりバタバタだったけども。
うちはハウスダスト多めで、子どもも旦那さんもめちゃ鼻詰まってて申し訳なかった。見せたい、帰りたいと言っていた割には部屋の居心地を良くしてあげられなくて(片付けとか全くしなかった)、悪いことしたな。反省。
父親は相変わらず頭おかしかった。
でもみんな子ども見ててくれたり、預かってくれたり助かることもあった。それは家族としてじゃなくて、人間として当たり前だけど。普段から1人で見てたから、面倒見てもらえるって楽だと思いつつ、自分の中では預けることにまだ抵抗ある。
夫婦2人で久しぶりに外食したり、ドライブしたり。ほんの少しだったけどリフレッシュできた。気を張っていたのか、食欲無くて食事が苦痛だった。
実家で育児したいと何度も思ってたけど、帰らなくて良かったーって気付いた。親と絶対ケンカになってたわ。特に父親なんて、大したことしてないのに、上から目線だったろうな。実際、今回の帰省で何様だよって思うことたくさんあったしね。
こっち(千葉)のほうが心の安定保てる。物理的な距離って必要なんだな。
しかしわたしの振り返りって、嫌な部分ばかりだな(笑)
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Mada - Gigrey
Berhenti setelah bab 2. Sorry not to sorry, tp ini alurnya berasa baca ulang Renjana. Ga tau mana yg nulis duluan, tp pembawannya terasa mirip banget. Tokoh dan karakternya beda si, tp ya itu, modelan jalan ceritanya mirip.