#20082019

In May of last year, for reasons that are still unclear to me, Etihad Airlines refused to let me board my flight to Rome. I flew the next day on Turkish Airlines, but before that happened, I wrote about the incident on Facebook, and two of my friends got into a fight because one of them responded to my post with "everything happens for a reason." And the other replied, "No, everything does not happen for a reason!" I'm thinking about this right now because it's weird being back in KL. While I was away, there was an attempted break-in into my apartment. They didn't manage to get in -- thank God -- but they broke my padlock and door handle, so I had to change locks when I got back, and that wasn't cheap. Especially not after spending 3-months spending in (mostly) Euros on a salary paid in (mostly) Ringgits. I've always thought of my apartment as an external manifestation of the internal workings of my mind. Everything that is there was handpicked and placed exactly where I think it should be by me. The triptych photos from a film set over my headboard in the bedroom. The one table lamp facing the white wall in the dining area. The red back pillow I have on the dark single-seater couch in the corner is the same shade of red as the Amelie poster hanging over the longer couch adjacent to it. My apartment is not just the place I feel the safest in, it's also, in a way, literally me. But right now, my apartment doesn't quite feel like me. Part of that, I think, is because of the attempted break-in. I now have this forceful reminder in the form of a new lock that I might not be as safe in this space as I thought I was. But a part of it, I think, is also that I'm now different. Three months in Europe has gotten me into a different rhythm. The mind that put together the apartment isn't the same mind occupying it. When someone says that "everything happens for a reason," I don't see it as someone making a statement about the operational workings of the universe. What I hear is someone making a personal statement about how they choose to move through the world. How they see things. The story they choose to tell themselves. I choose to see this break-in as a sign. I choose to see a reason behind it. What that reason is, only time will tell. And by that I mean I’ll tell myself the story eventually.

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ทั้งสุขและทุกข์ ดีหรือร้าย ไม่ว่าเรื่องอะไรก็ตามที่เข้ามาในชีวิต จะไม่มีใครต้องเผชิญกับเรื่องเหล่านั้นคนเดียว เราจะช่วยดูแล ช่วยเหลือกันจากนี้และตลอดไป ขอบคุณในความรัก ความตั้งใจ และเริ่มสร้างอนาคตเพื่อเรา รักนะคะ ❤️🐻 #สุขเล็กๆแต่สุขทุกวัน #20082019 #1yr5mths #ค่อยๆก้าว #ความสุขของอ้วนๆ♥🐻 (ที่ Chaiya) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1YzHFHB4pRng4B7MvXCLPuMBDbt-Rlz-Yf2CY0/?igshid=14dhfqlma10n6