#2.18.17

-How is the job hunt going? -Miserably. These online applications are advanced aptitude tests that have to be some kind of intentional barrier to weed out the uncommitted. It’s like you’re searching for a post office in a foreign city where no one seems to understand the concept of mail. And it’s not like I have relevant experience for any position that isn’t going to be crowded out by circuit brains in the next five years. So yeah, poorly at the very best.

Hey, guys. Sorry to say this, but your positions have become redundant and we’re going to need to let you all go. We’re replacing this entire department with a robot that has proven to deliver thousands of times faster than even the best of you were capable of. And it’s able to do that with a significant reduction in inaccuracies and content loss!

We’re truly sorry to see you all go, but we need to keep up with our competitors. If any of you have an advanced computer science degree and five years of experience, feel free to apply to the one position that we are adding to manage the robot.

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