#15.7

I mean to be fair Verona absolutely needs help (see her last two viewpoint chapters). It's just the help she needs is, like, someone to pull a beetlejuice and drive her dad out of her life while mysteriously leaving her with the house and an inexplicable supply of money of legal disinterest so that she can just go on like that.

My body is a crumbling temple to the worship of a forgotten god.

This is the first episode I haven’t felt like curling up and sobbing after, so that’s something... right? 

Here are the things I liked (& my feelings didn’t mind):

The friend telling her drunk/puking friend “Purge your sins, then we’ll get ya home” - does anyone else think Sam has said this to Dean more than once in this situation? Because I could almost hear Sammy’s voice.

Sam & Eileen EVERYTHING

Cooking and being all domestic together; giggling in the kitchen when Dean walks in

Being hungover together - Eileen convincing Sam to make REAL bacon, and Sam being all smiley and giddy. He needed this <3 It’s so nice to see him smile and be happy. Yeeeeees. 

“Put the sock on the door” & Sammy looking flustered but not correcting Dean (; 

Sam & Eileen getting all excited about Dean leaving because it’s ‘progress.’ They’re like two mother hens worried about their grumpy little Dean. 

SO MUCH SEXUAL TENSION DURING RESEARCH

Cockblock Cas (payback, Sammy). 

Eileen telling Cas she “got better” after dying. 

Badass/angry Eileen choking out the douchebag

The cop’s accent, outlook on life, belief that “I coulda been the next Denzel” && most importantly, him telling Dean to try show business because “you’ve got the look.”  -- wait, what is this, a man flirting with Dean again? What a surprise. 

“There may be some of you inside Chuck” Cas says, & Eileen’s face as she says “Ewww.” 

Cas “probing” Sam

Cas’ eye roll & then long dramatic sigh when he’s listening to Dean’s voicemail. Then the slight hesitation before leaving his message. & the growled “where are you?” is just... yeeeees. 

BADASS MF CAS IS BACK 

“I will find you and burn you alive.”

Going fricken darkside and acting like the mafia, using Bobby to track the man’s niece and being prepared to kill her instantly if necessary. 

“I like this you, Castiel. It’s very... Russian.” YEEEEES. 

Dean getting to see his old friend - smiling & laughing & being fucking happy for once. 

Dean singing - & that cute little awkward tap to the mic before he does so. Just gaaaaaaah him singing <3

“Roadhouse Rules”

Dean Winchester getting all protective against rapist assholes is my kink 

Dean finding the shotgun - “God bless Texas”

DEAN & CAS ACTUALLY SAW EACH OTHER!!! I THOUGHT THEY WEREN’T GOING TO INTERACT BUT THEY DID. YEEEEEES. 

That casual “hey” and Cas’ relieved “Dean.”

Cas barely able to look at him. 

That deep breath Dean takes in. So happy. Grounded. Relieved. Finally finally Cas is back. Cas is home. 

Cas practically running out of the room, and Dean being disappointed. 

**** also, side note: they talk about how Sammy is doing in this scene just like this did right before the break-up, which is a great circle back since this is (sort of) their reconciliation. 

“I THINK WE CAN BEAT GOD”

&& who does Dean look at right away??? Who folks? Yup. Cas! 

Here are things I liked (but hit me right in the feels…):

Pretty much ALL Dean - especially most of his time with Lee. 

I mean... right at the start there... that’s a lot of beer and empty liquor bottles in Dean’s room. He’s drinking way too much...

Dean turning down BACON - & after a comment where Sam said “look who’s alive” & Dean had mumbled “mostly.”

Lee’s sad voice/look as he asks, “You’re still huntin’, huh?”

Their reminiscing about John/Talk about life

The two of them (Dean & Lee) wasted on a hunt together & getting in trouble

His concern when he hears that John died hunting - his face & voice, the way he looks at Dean like he’s practically picturing Dean meeting the same fate - “That’s usually how this ends, innit?” 

Dean asking Lee if he regrets leaving. When he says not at all, Dean’s distant look... his wheels are turning SO MUCH during this whole time he spends with Lee. So much possibility. You know this boy secretly just wants to be DONE. He wants what Sam and Eileen had that morning. He wants domestic, safe, happy. 

“There’s nothing you can’t have man” & Dean’s forced smile and laugh, “Oh come on, who’s gonna kill the bad guys?” & Lee being COMPLETELY serious when he says, “Somebody else.”

Talking about John’s music when they were young. 

The fact that Cas almost IMMEDIATELY asks “Where’s Dean?” when he gets to the bunker </3

Dean looking ready to cry in the basement, && the way he flinches when Lee touches him. He’s pissed, yes, but it’s drowning in so much sadness and betrayal. He’s just broken at this point. So broken... I hate it. 

“Why do you care so much, Dean?” - “Because someone has to.”

Lee telling Dean “it’s okay.” Saying he’s glad it was Dean to kill him. God damn. My heart... poor Dean... jeez. First he has to kill that kid on his knees, & now his old friend he cares a lot about telling him it’s okay too. Just. GAH. 

Things I hated:

That stupid girl at the stupid bar with the stupid smile and the stupid flirting and the stupid HAND TOUCHING DEAN’S ASS!

Thoughts I have on Lee/Dean:

Am I the only one who thinks Dean slept with this guy before? Because... I think he’s slept with him before. Like, if we’re going with the canon where Dean has been acting on his bisexuality all this time and just hid it, then I totally think Dean slept with this man before. When they were young. Maybe he was Dean’s first time with a guy? 

That look when they first see each other lasts a little too long before they go off together. 

Lee always touching him

“They were not twins, they were triplets, and we split them up fair and square” - OH YEAH I BET YA DID. 

Him calling Dean out - “You can’t just sit around lip singing Eye of the Tiger while no one’s watching” which indicates that LEE was watching back then. He was watching everything (;

ALSO: Am I the only one getting vibes of Lee being a dominant??? Maybe Dean’s first dominant? Because I can just see little submissive teen aged Dean trying so damn hard in his daddy’s jacket to be this badass, tough guy, and Lee coming along and stripping him down (in more ways than one). 

Him calling Dean ‘my boy’

That twinkle in his eyes as he takes Dean in, appraising him just like a dom would. 

Calling Dean ‘boy’ AGAIN: “Come on, boy.” 

&& no, this isn’t like how John would sometimes call him that, because Lee isn’t John’s age, it’s clear he’s Dean’s age. Just from their reminiscing alone, you can tell they were kids (young adults) & John was the ‘grown up.’ 

AND I’M SORRY BUT HE SPANKS DEAN ON THE STAGE. SPANKS HIM!!! AND DEAN GETS SO DAMN FLUSTERED. LIKE... HEY THERE. WOAH. OKAY. YEAH. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, SIR, BUT YEAH... I SEE YOU. OKAY. YOU AIN’T MY DOM ANYMORE, BUT I SEE YOU.