#130318

When I picked up Broken Beautiful Hearts and started reading it as a contender for the first book in Chloe’s Book Club—my new community and platform for book lovers that I just launched in partnership with Girls’ Life and Barnes & Noble!—I had full confidence it was going to be a really good read. It checked all the boxes I was looking for: Kami Garcia is a bestselling author, and the plot sounded swoon-worthy and exciting and suspenseful. And I was right: The story was all of those things and more.

What I wasn’t prepared for was how much the book would impact me—especially when I got to the final few pages and learned that much of the main character’s struggles were inspired by Kami’s personal experiences with an assault and relationship violence.

Kami agreed to speak with me to share more about her own story, and I’m so grateful to be able to listen and help shine a light on her important message. Read on for our conversation—and, as Kami mentions, please reach out for support if you have been assaulted.

Chloe Lukasiak: Hi, Kami! First, on behalf of myself and Chloe’s Book Club, I wanted to thank you—not only for writing an extremely inspiring story with such a strong female protagonist, but also for sharing something so deeply personal and important in your Author’s Note. I’d love to talk to you more about this experience.

Kami Garcia: Thank you so much for choosing Broken Beautiful Hearts as your first book club selection! I’m looking forward to speaking with you.

Chloe: You mentioned that the book was difficult to write and dredged up a lot of painful memories. If you’re comfortable, could you expand on that at all?

Kami: When I was in high school, I dated a competitive athlete and, like Peyton, the protagonist in the novel, I discovered that my boyfriend was using steroids. I broke up with him, which led to an argument. He wanted another chance. I wouldn’t give him one and he got violent, which turned into him stalking me for two years.

Unlike Peyton, I didn’t tell anyone, except my friends, what happened. I was embarrassed and worried that people wouldn’t believe me—and some didn’t. Writing Broken Beautiful Hearts was my way of rewriting my story so I could go back in time and do all the things I wish I had done back then. Peyton tells people she was physically assaulted and she doesn’t waver. She also tells her mom—something I didn’t do.

Chloe: Was that writing process—your rewriting process—therapeutic for you?

Kami: The novel was much harder to write than I expected. I had shared the incident and my story with lots of friends, but talking about the incident wasn’t as visceral as writing about it. Ultimately, I’m glad I did it. I just want to prevent other girls from going through what I did.

Chloe: I’m glad you did it, too. It’s just unacceptable that you weren’t believed or supported at the time. What would you say to other girls and women who experience an assault but aren’t believed?

Kami: Speak your truth, even if no one believes you. Silence allows these guys to move on to another girl and do the same thing.

Chloe: You mention that you didn’t reach out for help when your assault occurred. How did you find the strength to move on when you didn’t have a support system?

Kami: Luckily, my close friends believed me and they stuck by me. It was still painful, but the fact that I wasn’t completely alone helped. But it would have been so much easier if I had told my mom. My friends and I weren’t equipped to deal with a violent stalker.

Chloe: It was great to see Peyton’s mom fight for her and protect her. How did you feel when the book, along with your extremely personal Author’s Note, was released?

Kami: I had talked openly about the assault with friends, but sharing it with the world was completely different. It felt like I was going into battle without my armor. It makes you feel incredibly vulnerable. But if the book helps even one girl from making the same mistakes I did, then it’s worth it.

Chloe: Absolutely. And now that you’ve been through this new battle, do you feel that the writing process caused you to relive your trauma?

Kami: I had to relive the trauma to write the book, but I also think you have to relive the trauma to heal. Writing the book felt very raw. But that’s part of the process—especially when you’re dealing with painful experiences. You have to feel them to write about them.

Chloe: What do you want everyone reading this to know?

Kami: If you experience dating abuse—or any kind of abuse—tell someone. And if someone tells you that they were assaulted, believe them! It’s so hard to talk about these types of incidents. It’s painful and embarrassing. So if someone finds the strength to tell you, listen to them.