#12reset

Narrows eyes at the… not one… but two knives 👀

        “ Are you now ? That doesn't seem very wise." /@12reset

The spiral begins, as Lu Guang drags Cheng Xiaoshi halfway around Bridon to peruse stores for the ideal birthday gift. Nothing called to him. Nothing felt perfect enough. No clothing felt right to gift. No watches or expensive shoes, not that they could afford such luxuries. He’s not certain if Xia Fei likes cutesy things, so he avoids them. By the end of the trip, the fussiness of Cheng Xiaoshi being dragged in all directions is enough to have them sit in this shopping center in near defeat. 

Lu Guang is about to give up when he reflects back to birthdays spent in past lifetimes with Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling. When he remembers what made them most special, it wasn’t the gifts. Wasn’t the decor. It was the company. The quality time. “…” He takes out his phone, Xia Fei’s birthday was tomorrow and it was a slim chance this would work. He sends the text anyhow. “Felix. If you are not busy tomorrow for your birthday, join us for a lunch in the park. There will be cake.” Lu Guang purses his lips. Maybe… this was his chance to get to know the realer side of Xia Fei. “… what is your favorite flavor of cake?”

It’s reflexive at this point, the bow of Xia Fei’s head, the smile on his lips. He was not counting down, but others were. Your birthday is coming up, Felix. What do you want? Humility ties its strings around his limbs and twists, ruthless. He tells people the story they wish to hear and waves off the date as irrelevant. At this time of year, lately, he starts to wonder: when did he start believing his own lie?

Things had changed with his modeling gig. He received fan mail occasionally. Bouquets of roses, boxes of chocolates, and handmade jewelry. All so luxurious. He kept the ribbons they were wrapped with, though. Each one is a different color. Sometimes, he ties one or two around his wrist to remember the letters they accompanied — those meant more to him than material goods.

( Not that he threw out the flowers, of course. He kept them. Pinched their petals to remind himself they’re real until they wilted in their vase. )

Xia Fei appreciates experiences more. Hotpot comes to mind, or silent minutes in a car during rainstorms. Everything else is bittersweet, packaged perfectly when he is anything but. Debatably, this is why he gives the same answer every time they ask. What do you want? He can’t think of anything he doesn’t already have. At the same time, he thinks he wants the whole world encased between his ribs. Greed and gluttony are sins that rot patience.

Yet, when Lu Guang texts, Xia Fei doesn’t immediately, impulsively, or selfishly bite. Thumbs hang above his keyboard. Lunch in a park is so cliche, so romanticized, so… unfamiliar. Would they sit on a blanket, or would they find themselves a table? Would they sip soda, or could they buy lemonade? Cheng Xiaoshi’s smile would be brighter than the afternoon sun, he’s sure. And Lu Guang would watch them make utter fools of themselves with that look in his eyes — the one that has him seem partially caught in a space millions of miles away.

Fondly, Xia Fei realizes he knows what he wants. Maybe not forever. He’s fickle, or so he’s been told. But right now, he can’t think of anything as compelling as anchoring the moon mid-orbit, if only for an hour or two.

He seems convinced of it, as if his word held the veracity backed up by irrefutable evidence. Li Tianchen knew a thing or two about testimonies and allegations but when Lu Guang speaks he does so pragmatically, his warning hanging precariously between them like the glinting edge of a blade. He narrows his eyes, picking at his inscrutable expression as might a carrion bird, ravenous for even a morsel of truth. with this one it was harder to tell. where one wore earnest expression upon his sleeve, unguarded but fervent, the other remained mostly impervious, not allowing mere words to urge him to take abrupt, reckless action. ❝ You’re good at that you know, running your mouth.❞ his forbearance is a frangible thing and he had done well to be lenient with someone who had such a proclivity for manipulating things behind the scenes. talking as if he explicitly understood the relationship they shared, that his saviour was a voracious entity wearing a guise of gilded splendour; his salvation.

AAAAAAAAAAA THANK U SM 🥹🥹🥹 I owe u and Ivy my life for introducing me to Liu Xiao and beat me up to finish link click lmao I wouldn't have continued watching if it weren't for U guys. I ain't forget our faces when lx appeared in the cinema with xf pulling the best Makima move in history HELPPP

I appreciate ur words bc ur one of my fav writers 🫶🫶🫶

And modeling is not fluid for Lu Guang in the least. It’s different than cosplay. Cosplay is wearing a mask and playing pretend. But— maybe Felix is the mask Xia Fei is wearing. Lu Guang feels timid in approaching. “Fe— Xia Fei.” He clears his throat, “I’m struggling a bit with the solo shoots. Cheng Xiaoshi seems to be a natural, but— without him… I….” it feels pathetic to say, ‘I don’t know how to be someone else for a camera.’ “Could you help me?” 

unprompted. ╱ @12reset.

 his name was spoken, but the call didn’t come from the staff. “ hm? ” it's lu guang who stepped forward, uncertainty etched across his features like cracks in porcelain. normally a reserved presence, he now resembled a leaf caught in a surging river, adrift and unsure. it was the first time he’d witnessed him so out of place. he felt a wave of empathy wash over him; he knew all too well the daunting spotlight of the modelling world, and confidence easily wavered under pressure. even at his lowest, felix is forced to shine brighter than a star - donning a mask of radiance to conceal his hollow shell.

 his brows furrowed for lu guang, now forced to face this sudden onslaught of attention. he and cheng xiaoshi were cast into the limelight, becoming the apples of the cameras’ eyes for a day - each shutter click capturing their every pose, freezing them in time like delicate butterflies pinned to a collector’s board. these snapshots would be used as visual tales curated for the consumer, inviting them to glimpse the carefully crafted world behind the lens. so the pressure to present their best selves was a heavy weight to bear, and felix could see lu guang was especially nervous - after all, he was someone who preferred to blend into the background.

 “ it’s not easy to get comfortable in front of the camera, ” he reassured, his voice calm amidst their bustling surroundings. “ you’re already set in the looks department, and you’re taking initiative by asking. ” just as lu guang stood up for him against jack’s prior provocation, he felt a strong urge to return the favour now. he owed it to him. “ photoshoots are a cooperative effort, ” felix continued, gesturing to the crew who moved like the inner gears of a clock, each person in sync, working together to create stunning visuals. “ i’d be a poor teacher if i weren’t helping you. ” he’d be a poor friend, too.

 “ you have great angles; now it’s just a matter of showcasing them, ” he said, his voice encouraging. with that, he offered a warm smile, hoping to ignite a spark of confidence in lu guang. despite felix being the one imparting advice, it was xia fei gently guiding him back the way he came. positioning beside the cameraman, he gave a nod as a signal to begin the shoot, now standing by as a constant source of support, ready to coach him through it -