time is like music

Until a singular post catches his attention. ‘June 25th. International Hug-A-Deer Day.’ The corners of Liu Xiao’s lips quirk. Arms move to wrap snugly, gently, around Xia Fei. He leaves the screen awake — evidence of his reasonings bright on his lap — as he rests his chin on the blond’s shoulder. Sighs. Rolls his eyes.

“I’m disappointed,” he says. In the show, of course. The popcorn bowl warms the side of his thigh, nudged between them by his closer movements. He has a feeling that getting on Xia Fei’s nerves this way will be far more entertaining than their plans of a watch party.

cRYING…. ╱ timeisllikemusic.

  it’s an ongoing, recurring malady for shows that kick off with promise - flickers of potential that wow the crowds like shooting stars in the night sky, bewildering the masses below. when the show’s a hit, money flows; and with money come executive decisions, cold and counting, where the direction of each new season crowns the series for its remarkable brilliance, its handle with care - or shear it clean of its soul. in xia fei’s eyes, if one hopes to witness the love that made the series, you need not to look any further than the first season. it was genuine. well-thought intent sewn into every line of script, by the desire to carve complex artistry in storytelling and pacing. form relatable human experience through fictitious scenes. once upon a time, the plot was allowed to breathe, and the characters feel - there use to be life here. but telltale signs of corporate greed in promising media always hold a talent for creeping in, manifesting their ugliest colours across the screen, and choking out something once thought masterful. dull plotlines stretched like worn, decrepit fabric. new characters revealed, but only as lifeless ornaments - insignificant or contradictory, tossed in without spine. or a brain. a change of writers, production staff replaced with others who align more neatly with the minds and appetites of the ones above. wielding power like modern slave-drivers. or worse still, an overworked team stretched paper-thin until every drop of affection for the series is squeezed to the last drop, leaving only monotony and listless routine.

  boredom sat plainly on xia fei’s face. there’s gratitude in knowing the series reached its end. that former, real interest, had long departed somewhere along the way, and what remained was the completionist in him, stubborn as a rock, wedged and sunken in wet sand. simply finishing what they started, wanting only the right to claim he’d seen it through, and hating every minute of it. yet, it became a ritual - something he did with liu xiao, as if closure could be wrung out of his disappointment - maybe he was too optimistic?

  he hadn’t even noticed when liu xiao had pulled his attention off elsewhere. when he let his focus stray, and when he even stopped pretending to care. honestly, he didn’t blame him. they’ve already mapped where the plotline fell apart, and where the show had derailed itself, a dozen different ways, in more angles than he can count on both hands. to do so again would be playing a broken record - the same scratch, same tired beat, the same inevitability in a worn-out tune… he’s sure liu xiao felt the same.

  “ you’re telling me— ” even in his snark, genuine agreement was threaded through it. they often did this with the show - judging and reacting like it owed them answers for its loss in quality. and the time they spent wasting away to watch it come undone.

  arms came to coil around his toned, slender frame, and the moment they did, his shoulders tightened instinctively. pierced brow twitched, and his face, traitorous to all his efforts at composure, immediately turn pink across his natural features. hugging him in this particular moment, was like embracing an immovable telephone pole - except xia fei was perfectly sized for liu xiao’s head to nestle snugly against his shoulder.

  a turn of his head and, his gaze captures what glares back at him from liu xiao’s lap. the dark letters on a white digital page… ' international hug-a-deer day ' - and above it, a pitiful little fawn with its pathetic doe eyes staring back at him. as though pleading for affection. his lips purse, taut under his nose, the expression across xia fei’s face seemingly sharp enough to cut - this felt calculated. deliberate. definitely not a coincidence.

  “ seriously? ” he lifts lazy arms to cross his chest, but not without stealing a few buttery kernels from the snack bowl between them. deliberate as well, with a harmless measure of spite. it was also to soothe his nerves and settle the craving for something salty on his tongue. after swallowing, the need to reinstate his dignity against this blatantly ridiculous comparison rises in him, like some petty reflex - only for his mind to blank at exactly the wrong moment.

  what leaves his throat is a scoff, then - because the universe loves to humiliate him - one of the pieces briefly snagging in his throat. it causes him to cough; a short, jagged fit that does absolutely nothing to help his hopeless attempt to keep his pride intact. goddamn it!

day 2 of drawing qiao ling until im freed from art block.

📅 How long have you been roleplaying, and what got you started?

🌊 Do you prefer plotting everything out or going with the flow?

🪞 How similar are you to your muse(s)?

🎭 What’s your favourite genre to roleplay (angst, fluff, horror, etc.)?

💖 What’s a trope you love and will never get tired of?

🚫 What’s a trope you avoid or dislike?

🎧 Do you associate songs with your muse(s)? If so, share one!

🥹 Do you ever get emotionally affected by your threads?

🛋️ What’s your ideal RP writing environment (music, silence, chaos)?

✨ What’s your favourite thing about your muse(s)?

⏳ How long does it usually take you to reply to threads?

📝 Do you prefer short replies or long, detailed ones?

🏆 What’s your proudest thread or RP moment?

🌐 Do you enjoy crossovers with other fandoms?

🕵️ Do you stalk blogs before following them? Be honest.

💕 Who are you having the most fun writing with, at the moment?

😶 Are you shy about approaching new RP partners?

🌟 Where do you get inspiration for your writing?

🖼️ Do you make edits, moodboards, or playlists for your muse(s)?

😭 What’s the saddest scene you’ve ever written?

✈️ If your muse(s) could go anywhere, where would they go?

🎁 What’s a random fun fact about you (the mun)?

💻 Do you RP mostly on mobile or desktop?

🌙 Have you ever stayed up way too late just to reply?

🎲 Do you like doing random starter calls or planned plots more?

🤔 What’s something you’ve never tried in RP but want to?

✍️ Has your writing style changed over time? How?

🎯 Do you set personal goals for your RP (activity, improvement, etc.)?

🧪 Have you ever experimented with a completely different writing style or format?

🧑‍🎨 Do you prefer original characters, canon characters, or a mix?

📊 How much research do you do for your threads (if any)?

🔐 Do you keep secrets about your muse(s) from other writers on purpose?

✏️ Do you write outside of RP (stories, poetry, etc.)?

⛰️ What’s the hardest part of roleplaying for you?

🧱 What helps you get out of writer’s block?

📐 Do you prefer long-term threads or short interactions?

🚪 How do you usually start a new thread? Dialogue, action, or description?

⛓️‍💥 Have you ever taken a long break from RP? What brought you back?

🧠 Do you believe muses “have a mind of their own”?

✂️ How much do you edit your replies before posting?

🎬 Has any media (show/movie/game) recently inspired your RP?

🌀 Do you enjoy chaotic threads or calmer, character-focused ones?

🌱 How do you develop your muse(s) over time?

⚡ What’s something small that instantly makes you excited to reply?

📥 Have you ever adopted ideas from other writers into your own headcanon?

⚔️ Do you like conflict-heavy plots or softer dynamics more?

🪫 How do you handle losing motivation for a thread?

📦 If you had to move your RP somewhere else, where would you go?

🛑 Do you have any RP boundaries or topics you will not write?

😤 Do you have any pet peeves when it comes to RP partners or threads?

💌 Do you prefer people to DM you for plotting, or just jump into asks/starters?

🔄 How do you feel about dropping threads vs. pushing through them?

🫶 What makes you feel most appreciated as an RP partner?

👤 Do you ever write characters very different from yourself on purpose?

📚 Do you reread your old threads? Why or why not?

Despite always a bit off the mark when it came to this sort of thing, Cheng Xiaoshi nodded sagely like he hadn’t said something that sounded like it came from a fortune cookie. Cheesy, yes, but how genuine he was in everything he attempted seemed to make up for that.

His own cup went untouched while his attention was on Xia Fei. The other seemed uneasy but who didn’t, really? The question caught him by surprise. They were talking about Xia Fei! Not him! None the less, he indulged in the question.

Cheng Xiaoshi wasn’t a man with a lot of regrets. However, he deeply regretted every life he couldn’t save, every person lost because he was limited in what little he could do, every life impacted by what he’s done. Every choice of his was too big of a chance taken and his judgement — or lack of — wasn’t always right. He regretted the pain he felt, the pain he caused, and the pain he couldn’t escape.

How was he ever meant to tell Xia Fei that? It wouldn’t be easy to choose the right wording, to half tell him what was on his mind. So instead, he flashes his biggest smile. “I have my regrets, sure, but they’ve led to some of my most cherished moments.” 

“I regret having to leave so soon — we could have spent more time together.” He enjoyed Xia Fei’s company. He was a good friend to be around! “Maybe we can visit again.” There was still plenty to see.

There’s more to this that Cheng Xiaoshi leaves unsaid. That much is clear. He doesn’t pry.

“ Next time. ” Next time, they’ll spend more time together. “ I have so many more places I wish I could show you. ” Restaurants, boutiques, niche trinket shops. There’s a park in particular he thinks Cheng Xiaoshi would get a kick out of, complete with sports courts and a winding hiking trail.