#1234nathaniel

In Ptolomey's gate the one scene that ACTUALLY makes me cry is, strangely, not Nathanial's death. I mean it DOES make me cry but not much, and not really. The one that does (and it has, twice, in the last 5 days) is the scene where he goes and re-meets with Ms. Lutyens. I Don't know but that scene is so painfully heart wrenching to me, my heart hurts for this boy. It HURTS.

I think it's the fact she is the one thing he has that is solely from his childhood, the one person left who he feels had and could love him/like him to some degree. And then he goes to thank her for it, and to see her again and FEEL SOMETHING that isn't connected to the mess and bullshittery that is his current life, and she rejects him. She DOES. She tells him "I never had anything to do with YOU. Not with John Mandrake" and it's the realization that she doesn't accept him anymore, she doesn't LIKE HIM (love him) anymore. And that no one in the world does.

That fucking last line from her when he tries to explain once again: "I wanted to say that I know you were trying to save me and-"

'"Yeah" she said. "And I'm sorry I didn't. Good-bye, Mr. Mandrake"'

FUCK. FUCK.

Anyways I am perpetually sad and I too am sorry Ms. Lutyens couldn't be there to save him. Because he needs it, to the very last moment. And kitty half did but they barely had that connection, she was a recent relationship. And Bartimaeus could have but their relationship is too complicated and he is his Slave and he can't be there all the time and he, frankly, doesn't care enough when he is around to put much effort in it because the resentment still burns, even if Bartimaeus somewhat likes/loves him and so there was no one.

I've been seeing a bunch of college AU's for the Bartimaeus fandom and I love them SM.

We know Nat is like, 2 years younger then the youngest in the group (Kitty) so he's like, baby compared to the rest. So.

Nat who took college classes in highschool, which is why he's able to get into higher college classes in actual college, where he meets Ptolomey (especially, they actually share quite a few core higher classes) Kitty and Bartimaeus.

Bartimaeus and Kitty who will Not Stop Teasing him. Bartimaeus "haha nerd, who takes college classes in HIGHSCHOOL you have no chill" (Bartimaeus also took some college credit classes in highschool, although he didn't actually do any college in hs but shhh).

Kitty who got in through scholarships (and so did Ptolomey, but academic) for like sports or something idk.

Kitty: Goodness Nat everyday I see you you get younger. I mean just look at that baby fat on your face still, for real.

(Nat: Oh, Kitty. *looking down at kitty* how's the view down there?)

Bartimaeus, at least once a week: Hey squirt! The highschool called they want their kid back.

Ptolomey just watches it all with a roll of his eyes and a small smile. But also he is kinda protective over Nat because he knows his background and the fact this kid could go down so many wrong roads and he IS actually still so young and so-

(Nat: Ptolomey I said I'm fine what-?

Ptolomey: Okay but it RAINED last night and you were still walking home with only your thin sweater. Do you need me to get you medicine look your nose is kinda red-)

A beginning that I actually have no idea if I will keep. This offers nothing of substance apart from the fact Nat is excited, but whatever. I need to actually think of the world building. Perhaps I will write the idea out here in tumblr and see what appeals to me more. Because I have so many ways in which this AU could be made and idk the best one tbh. Anyways here is the intro to the WIP I just started 30 mins ago. Enjoy??? It's not very interesting.

Inside you there are two wolves.

Nathaniel did wrong but it's because he had a horrible upbringing and no support system. Therefore this is why he is an asshole.

And

Yeah what I just said but that doesn’t excuse anything he's a terrible person (affectionate) no excuses. A funky little mean boy.