#12.29.13

I was crying alone in my room. Then I heard my Big brother call my name, Then when he saw me in my bed. I got my back to him, then he said, "Naiyak ka?" After that magic word, My eyes burst out tears. He sat right next to my bed while I was trying to hide back my face then he said these words, "Ilang beses mo nang ginawa yan sa sarili mo? Narinig kitang naiyak e. hindi tama yang ginagawa mo sa sarili mo. Masyado mong pinaparusahan." There's silence in my room except for my sobbing. "Ikwento mo sakin." He said. Instead of trying to narrate the story, I was crying. It was like, 1/4 talking and 3/4 sobbing. "You don't deserve crying over anything. Friends are suppose to be the one who brings you a laughingstock not tears. Mas magandang hanapin mo muna yang sarili mo. Dumepende ka sa mga kaibigan mo masyado. You should have left some pride. Kung kaibigan sila, hindi mo kailangang ipaliwanag ang sarili mo. Kasi, tatanggapin ka dapat nila. Naranasan ko din yan. Kasi nga, hindi naman tayo mayaman." He said. "Hindi naman sa yaman e. naguguluhan lang ako, hindi ko kasi alam ang dahilan." Sabi ko. "Yun na nga e. pag nakaramdam ka ng pressure, it means na hindi ka na nagpapakatotoo sa sarili mo. Lumayo ka muna. Kahit kaunting panahon lang. Kailangan mo yun. Hanapin mo yung fun sa sarili mong buhay. Kakayanin mo ring tumawa ng wala sila. Andito kami diba?" I was damn crying the whole time. I muttered, "Lalayo na nga lang muna ako." Tapos, lalong lumakas yung iyak ko. Nung tumigil ako, sinesermunan pa rin ako ni Kuya. Grabe lang. :( Hanggang ngayon di ko mapigilan. Tumigil na ako sa pag iyak, pero, maya maya may nahuhulog pa din na luha. One dramatic night, everyone! :)