#12.10.20

It’s October, scream fortress time babey

God reference/inspo under the cut

Soo my remedy definitely kicked my ass lol. Things have settled down, but I felt like I was going through growing-pains at a soul-level. That’s the best way that I can describe it. While it was happening, I found that I couldn’t leave my body - stuck inside. I didn’t mind it, because I knew that I was healing. But after things calmed down and I was able to leave my body, interesting things have been happening. 

Two days ago I was leaving the astral when I felt a tug, a pull, to come back in. At first I fought it, but then decided to come back.

I found myself like on a cliff's edge, on the rock face. In front of me was some kind of being... some kind of forest or tree spirit. It began to sprout and grow, as they usually do, as kind of a representation of their form and power.

They grew, and grew, and grew, and kept growing, and growing, and growing, and growing, and growing, and

It kept going. It wouldn't stop. I felt the energy and power increase as it did. I got defensive, and armored up, then realized that what I was doing was foolish; even if they were malicious, they were clearly beyond the scope of anything I've seen or encountered.

I armored down and then bowed. Then I started asking questions as to what it was, anddd

Stay. Listen.

I plop down in front of this seemingly infinite tree.

Yes. I'm listening.

It gets dark... void space... I feel... power... energy surround me...

I go limp... prone...

Flying through space... the unknown...

What is this...

Listen...

I stop thinking... and just listen... I float through space for a while...

I find myself... floating... in a pool... of water... on my back...

I seem to be like this a lot lately...

It's so... peaceful...

A feel a weight lift off of my chest...

And a light glows within... green... something sprouts out of my chest... I blossom...

A lotus flower...

It glows... simply... yet powerfully...

The vision ends... I find myself back in front of this massive, massive being...

It doesn't communicate normally...

Thank you...

The scene like... ends... but slowly... like they are phasing out... I find myself back in my hallway...

That was interesting. The next day was even more interesting.

I go into the astral… I find myself in the cosmic place… My astral self is buzzing for some reason… I sit for a moment… I let go, and let it do its' thing…I  stand up… then walk into the mist…

I come into this tall, place… it feels like a temple… There is some kind of small shrine in the middle of this place… I approach it, and kneel… strike a match, and light a stick of incense, then pray…

Then… I walk up to the wall, where this is this massive… statue?? I pray in front of it… Then these doors in front of me open, and I walk through…

I come into this place that feels like the cosmic place,,, but it's pure white instead… water on the ground that is very still…

I watch a leaf fall gently to the ground… gently landing on the water, creating a ripple that spreads…

I pick it up… energy/wind picks it up and carries it up, up, and away…

I sit down on the water and meditate…

A drop of water falls from above… it lands on my head… and it falls through me… I feel it penetrate all the way through my energy… it feels good…

A few more drops fall… it feels… energizing…

What is this place…

I'm prompted to stay, so I do… I sit and meditate…

I open my eyes and stand up… I gently walk across…

I see… a figure… female… or feminine… in white robes… they are so calm… and gentle… peace and love radiate from them… I feel like I just want to bury myself in their arms… They open their arms, and I oblige…

As they wrap their arms around me, it feels like… all of my worries fade away… all my pains… stressors… unease… it all just… melts… as I'm wrapped in light…

Mmm…

They break the embrace, and hold my shoulders…

Their face… is… also radiant… I can't really make out any features at all… actually… But… I can tell that they're smiling… They hug me again… then gesture back to where I came…

Hm… okay…

I walk back… I feel them standing behind me…

There are some doors… I go through them…

The light lingers… for a long time…

I ended up going back today.

I went to the astral; at first, I wasn’t sure where I was. All I knew was that I was crying. And I started crying irl. Finally, I came to realize that I was back in that tall temple place, in front of the giant shrine on the wall. I’m still having trouble discerning and describing it... but... it kind of looks like the dragon shrines in Skyrim (since I’ve been playing it recently) except that there is a statue in the middle... very tall... of a figure... I’m not sure who...

Anyways, I was crying in front of this shrine. After a while, I stopped, and then some doors opened, with brilliant white light shining in. I walked through

And I found myself in the White Place again... it was so peaceful... I stepped down and meditated for a bit... felt pulled to sit down... my energy was acting strange while I did... 

I felt a presence... I looked up and there She was again... she held her arms open... I stood up, and fell into her embrace... it felt lovely... I caught a glimpse of her face... it was very fair... brilliant eyes... radiant... it had so much energy and liveliness... she gestured me to follow, and brought me to this pool filled with almost pure milky white water... she had me lay in it... I felt... sleepy... heavy... she told me to rest... I did... everything faded after that...

Sooo yeah!! Suddenly new experiences, but they have a lot of continuity... tbh I’m not sure where it is, or who they are... I’m thinking that the Lady might be a deity of some sort... and the statue... also probably a deity... not sure who, though...

Speaking of deities... right before I had my remedy, I’m pretty sure that I met Njord lol. I was leaving the astral and I felt a tug, so I returned and was immediately sucked under water by this massive wave. 

I felt a large presence in front of me. Suddenly, this massive figure that was partially made of water came before me... he had a giant white beard made of sea foam. 

He haded me two matching small clam/oyster shells...

And then he crashed back into the ground... and for the first time the water disappeared, and I was left in this place alone, with no water...

Also... I went to store the shells, but I had this very distinct impression to keep them on me instead. So I did lol.

Alright, well this post has gone on long enough. But lots has happened! I hope that everyone has a wonderful evening!