#11.24.16

so i’m back home for thanksgiving, and i love being back and seeing my family and friends and not having to stress about stuff B U T i forgot how much my dad touches me and doesn’t listen when i say no.

now, let me clarify. i love my dad. he’s one of my favorite people on the planet. i love him a lot, and we get along great, and he’s a really great role model for me, and yeah, i love him. but one of the things that i forgot he does that really pisses me off is he doesn’t listen to me when i tell him not to touch me. these past two days, he’s been all up in my business, smacking my butt, squeezing my arms and legs, putting his finger in my ear –– all this weird stuff, but if i tell him no, he doesn’t listen. he’s like “what? what?” like it’s all fun and funny, when clearly i’m not having it. “please stop. please don’t do that. dad, stop. i said stop.” over and over and over again, and it’s just nonsense! like, i told him “dad, seriously, consent is important, we talked about this” –– because we have. i literally broke down over the summer because i was so frustrated by it. and he’s like “but i’m your dad. it doesn’t matter because i’m your dad.” and like, that’s not how it works? consent is consent always? 

i’m just thinking about how when i have kids, this shit won’t fly. there’s a post on facebook that’s like, i tell my kids to never accept when someone touches them without permission, and they’re not allowed to do it either. if someone touches you and you tell them no and they do it again, you are allowed to do what you need to do to keep your bodily autonomy. and like, there’s another post that’s like “stop telling kids to sit in your laps and give you kisses and stop trapping them in your arms. consent is still important in your family.” like consent is SO IMPORTANT, and when i have kids, i’m going to make sure my kids know consent and ask for it and expect it. like that’s the bare minimum. i will never touch my kids without their permission. it’s just invasive, and i don’t like it.

that’s the most frustrating thing right now. and then i got mad at him and told him to stop multiple times, and he was acting all pissy because i got mad! like, i told you not to do that! why the fuck would you think i wouldn’t get mad? i wasn’t joking.

that’s the one thing that really irks me about my dad. he’s invasive. he’s a busybody. he doesn’t listen when you say no. and it’s so incredibly frustrating, and i hate it. all the other things about my dad, i love. he’s incredibly kind and nurturing and caring and passionate and intelligent, but he doesn’t listen. and it makes it difficult to spend a ton of time with him if i don’t want to be touched.