“So, Peter, right?” you walked up to the boy who was mere inches shorter than you. “It’s Percy.” he didn’t look too pleased with your mistake, you shot him a look back. “Mr. D. get’s my name right, most of the time.” you felt the need to brag a little, and the expression of unbelieve that crossed Percy’s face made it all worth it, “Anyways, wanna spar? Luke said you were about the best he had trained in a while- and I need to get better.” you asked, suddenly feeling bashful and looking at the ground.

“Sure, I don’t see why not.”

You two got along so well and it pained you to see him leave for a quest, for something that was not even his fault, but you waited for him. And he came back, as he had promised, Grover and Annabeth by his side as he paraded his toga, courtesy of the Ares cabin. That night you smiled together at the campfire, and as you shivered Percy tried to offer you his hoodie.

“But I am taller than you- it won’t fit.” you laughed and Percy hit your arm. “One day I will outgrow you- I promise!”

And he did, for now he stood a good head taller than you before you. You looked up into his eyes and let out a sigh. “Just take it back Perce,” you felt your throat close as you held out his hoodie. You were reminded of the hours you wore it- every campfire he gave it to you as you shivered, the gesture being enough to warm you back up. As he was leaving camp to go to New Rome with Annabeth, you knew you couldn’t keep living this dream.

'Cause you know just what to do

To make me forget that I'm so mad at you

And I can't help but hate you

'Cause I'm still in love with you

Even though you put me through hell

“This is for when you get cold.” He handed you a badly wrapped present. It was the last day of summer, and as you were recovering from the injuries you had sustained during the battle of Manhattan Percy had come to see you. You squint your eyes, feeling your heart stutter as you look down on the package. You wanted to hide away from him- you had heard the news of Percy and Annabeth and you had secretly hoped to avoid the happy couple for the last weeks of summer. As you unwrapped it, it revealed Percy’s hoodie, the one he often wore and sometimes had lended to you when you were cold.

“Why?” you asked, looking at the boy. “Well, you often get cold and-” he looked to the side, “I just wanted to thank you for being my friend. I know this was hard and I am so glad you are alright- and-,”

“Perce, there is no need,” you put your hand on his arm, “I am happy to be your friend, and we’ll hopefully stay friends for much longer.” you smiled, and as Percy nodded you hoped it looked genuine. Percy would be kind enough to never turn his back on you- as your friend, he was stubborn enough to seek you out even as you were trying to run away from him. He knew you like the back of his hand, and you suspected he knew of your feelings- but maybe he didn’t, maybe he was oblivious, maybe you could let him be in your life a little longer, pretend he loves you too.

So maybe I'm the masochist

Maybe that's why I still miss your kiss

Not sure who I hate more

Me or you

“Why?” Percy asked, looking concerned, this was far from the first hoodie you had stolen from him, but gradually over summer his old hoodies miraculously started to reappear in his cabin. Percy hadn’t really minded the extra clothes, but he did realize that you were putting them back. He tried to lend them to you again- carefully offering them, but you had refused and gone back to your cabin. Percy tried to figure out why- why were you rejecting him? You never had, and truly he noticed how little time you two had spent together this summer. It had been hard on you, but this was one of the first summers where there weren’t any life threatening wars and it was the first summer where you had truly seen Percy and Annabeth together. It had started to sink in that Percy did not belong to you, and that you did not belong to him.

'Cause I keep letting you wreck my mind

Seek the truth and you will find

You're bad for me

Percy hadn’t meant to forget you- but his mind only thought of you when he saw you, tired and dirty, after they beat Gaia. He locked his eyes with you and memories flooded his mind of you- and him, and the warmth you brought him every time he had come back to camp- came back to you after his quests. Whereas Annabeth was his anchor to this world- you seemed to be the shore it led to. “(Y/n)!” he yelled as he ran towards you. You felt tears well up- it had been months and you were sure he was gone this time. You gripped the hoodie you were wearing- it was the first one he had given you, it was worn and torn now, but you had worn it today for luck, for him. As his arms closed around you, you felt tears escape your eyes, and as you spotted Annabeth slowly making her way to you, you cried a little harder.

I finally told myself it's time to move on

I finally told myself to stop writing songs

'Cause every time I leave you behind you run right back

Made up my mind there's no rewind don't come back

“I think I have enough hoodies, Perce.” you shrugged trying to play it off, but he glared at you. “No, I feel there is something else. What’s going on?” Ah, stubborn as ever. You let a faux smile adorne your face as you laughed. “There is nothing else, I promise.” And that was the problem- how much you had wished for more, there was nothing between the two of you. “You’re avoiding eye contact, you only do that when hiding something.” you looked up into his eyes, trying to prove him wrong, only to feel yourself crack.

“Why are you not looking at me? (Y/n)...” Percy’s tone took a dangerous turn as you looked away, trying to hide the fact that you had just stolen a hoodie from his closet. You knew he would figure it out, having only shoved the hoodie in the back of your shirt for now. “Nothing.” You smiled, unable to meet Percy’s eyes without giving yourself away. His eyes always made you crack and fess up- but you were inching closer to the door of his cabin as he sent a playful glare your way, noticing the sleeve falling out of your shirt. “Oh no you don’t!” he exclaimed as he ran to you and shoved you into one of the bunk beds, careful enough that you wouldn’t hit your head. You laughed as you wrestled together. Percy pulled the hoodie out of your shirt, but he was so distracted in his victory that he didn’t react when you pinned him to the bed. Your breaths intermingled as you smiled at him, feeling warm from the wrestling. “Okay! You win.” he smiled as he held up his arms as well as he could. You smiled triumphantly as you grabbed the hoodie. “See you at dinner!” you yelled at him as you ran out of the cabin, leaving behind a very flustered Percy. Oh, if his hoodies made you this happy, he would for sure give you more.

'Cause you know just what to do

To make me forget that I'm so mad at you

And I can't help but hate you

'Cause I'm still in love with you

Even though you put me through hell

Percy sighed, hating the fact that he was unable to just guess what was wrong with you. He used to be able to do so- to look you over and just know. He barely knew who your other friends were just now. “Look,” you started and Percy’s heart skipped a beat as he saw the seriousness on your face, “I will- I just,” you seemed nervous, since when did he make you nervous? “I will just miss you, Perce. We’re all growing up and moving and-” you were starting to ramble but Percy interrupted your thoughts with a smile and a hand on your shoulder.

“I will miss you too! But we’ll just write to each other, and you can visit New Rome- and I’ll come here with Estelle!” his cheerfulness seemed to form a pit in your stomach- no you wanted to move on and once again he was stopping you from doing so, but was it really his fault? You had never truly confessed your feelings, all the ‘love you’s that were exchanged tinged with a platonic taste. If Percy knew of your feelings, he didn’t seem bothered, and how could he be? How could he know when you always tried to push him away? Put the hurt in his eyes when you tried to give back the last hoodie, when you tried to finally close the bond between the two of you that had stabbed you in the chest. This boy- this man had never done anything wrong to you as long as you knew him, and it hurt to try to let him go. You never wanted to harm Percy, you wanted to see his stupid smile as he talked about his days- as he talked about his love- as he pressed his hoodie back into your arms. You felt your resolve crumble, knowing fully well that this was on you as you smiled at him, Percy seemingly happy to return his stolen hoodies to you.

So maybe I'm the masochist

Maybe that's why I still miss your kiss

Not sure who I hate more

Me or you

You regretted going to the campfire today- you were still tired from the fight, and after the burial rites nobody seemed to be in a good mood. You had realized that, after Percy broke the hug and kissed Annabeth in front of you, that the boy you once thought was yours had truly gone and wouldn’t come back. You felt the heaviness in the air as your heart seemed to beg you to let out more tears. “How are you doing?” Percy sat down next to you and you looked him over, unconsciously avoiding looking at his face. Percy had hoped to make you feel a bit better, because he had noticed that you weren’t yourself- something was wrong and you avoiding his eyes only brought more certainty to his hypothesis. “I’m fine,” you looked into the fire.

“You’re not.” he simply stated, “I got you a gift.” you brought your gaze to him, as he gave you a hoodie. You smiled softly, unable to stop the tears coming out of your eyes. You had wanted to refuse- but you were unable to speak. “I saw how torn up yours was- I didn’t even know you still had that old one.” Percy let out a little laugh- one that was not soulless, but also not happy, “so, see this as the hoodie you are actually allowed to own.” You looked up and saw him smile, oh you were helpless. You pressed your lips closed as you shook your head. “Really Percy?” was all you got out before you felt more tears come up.

“So what’s wrong?” Percy repeated his question and you took a deep breath. “I-” your voice quivered, your brain quickly thinking of a way to tell him but not tell him, “I just lost-” your breath caught up in your throat and Percy wrapped one arm around you, pressing you into his chest. “It’s hard,” he whispered into your hair, “You’ll get through, and I will help you, okay? I’ll be there for you.” he promised and you nodded as you cried into the chest of the person you loved and lost, allowing yourself to feel like this a little longer.

'Cause I keep letting you wreck my mind

Seek the truth and you will find

I'm bad for me, oh

I'm bad for me

I'm bad for me, oh

I'm bad for me

I'm bad for me

I'm bad for me

I'm bad for me

I'm bad for me

I'm bad for me