She once believed love would be burning RED but it's GOLDEN💛
@taylorswift @taylornation
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She once believed love would be burning RED but it's GOLDEN💛
@taylorswift @taylornation

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10.22.2012 - Up All Night.
We watched a movie called Double Idemnity. It was pretty funny, actually, the way dude said "bebeh" just annoyed me a little though hahaha.
UMM Let's see...i went to the internship thing, and it was a total waste of time. I really regret going.
Started my essay around .......wow ider...
In where I am actually frightened
Tomorrow I'm headed for a doctors appointment, having dull chest pains for a few months, whatever. That's what I made the appointment for. BUT I will be 12 days late by then. Thinking of doing this without him scares me to the point of tears. Also I know he will see me as totally gross if he makes home it 9 months from now. Anyway. I'm fighting a nice little anxiety attack and writing about it helps. It's as though I'm doing something productive... I absolutely do not want to do this without him, my parents would be very supportive, but right now I need him to hold my hand and rub my back and tell me it will be ok, he's here for me. But he isn't and he can't. I knew what I was getting into, but I didn't know I had to be ready for this quite so soon...