#1.5.2018

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May 1, 2018 - Day 316

39 minutes at bedtime

You must think that I went ‘yay’ when I completed the set duration for the meditation session last night. Well, not really. I didn’t go ‘yay’ when I saw about 30 seconds remaining on the timer after I opened my eyes.

The completed duration would have been an achievement if only I had slipped into the subconscious right when I began meditating last night. The fact is that I took forever with the opening prayer. I kept slipping into the memory of a conversation from earlier in the evening. Now I am guessing that this return to concentration took me about 10 minutes. That’s usually the time left on the timer on nights when my concentration is decent.

The meditation ended in the deep end of my subconscious. Here, the breath is dramatically slow and the mind doesn’t quite venture into the conscious memory images at all. Mostly, it was a movement between the deep and shallow subconscious. Of course, the fact that I had not secured the vantage point to watch the subconscious images was reason enough to get caught in the subconscious pull. I succumbed. Sigh.