I know her like the back of my hand

The wound she leaves

It was relatively in the beginning, maybe the first or second night

When my ex told me about her, how she told him she would stay the night on J's boat

And she stayed with J ever since

And my insecure little self was left with a guy longing after another girl, him seeing betrayal following everywhere

How my little brother is still fighting with the ghost of her, even after she is engaged and it has been five years

And then you

When you told me her name I laughed inside

Of course, I thought

The pattern

The cycle

The wound

In others

In me

I could have said no, but not really, not at that point

And you already knew, as well as I did

So I rewrote history

With the mercy of not being told that I am loved and wanted

So I could make myself free

Because I know her like the back of my hand

But I didn’t love her