#08032023

Side note: I’ve become tired of using tumblr nicknames and I think I might just switch to using the kids’ actual names. I feel like when people use the first initial, I personally have a hard time keeping track of who is whom - that’s a me problem. Sooo, I’m just gonna start using their names? Feels weird, but I dunno what I’m protecting against by using nicknames, really, either.

So. Pep, my first babe and current 2.5 year old best buddy, is Holden. Those of you who know me off-tumblr know that. Our second sweet angel is Lincoln.

Now that that’s cleared up.. I’ve been having contractions on and off for over a week now - since last Wednesday - and yesterday B and I finally went down to the hospital. It’s an hour drive, so the stress level was high. Has been high for the past week. My MIL just finally moved into our second home here in town on Sunday, so thankfully we now have a close-by childcare solution in place. We got to the hospital, contractions were at 3 minutes apart, 3cm dilated, and everybody was thinking we would be meeting our third baby boy soon.

Aaaaaand then… the contractions slowed down. Six hours later after bouncing on the ball and doing all the things, I was still at 3cm. They sent us home. So disappointed. I was not dealing well.

Thank goodness I had therapy this morning. I was able to talk some things out, and with the help of my therapist, reframe and get some perspective. I’m doing better today. Aside from the fact that I stepped outside after therapy and immediately got stung by a bee. Universe, I won’t take that one personally, but really. Come on sis.

My parents are coming up tonight; MIL has an obligation Friday-Saturday, so they’re gonna relieve her. I have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow morning, so B and I will both go for that. Then I have an induction scheduled for Saturday morning.

I’ve got mixed feelings about being induced, but I know inevitably my body will be more “ready” to be induced this time around than when I was induced with Holden. That gives me some relief. It’s good to have a light at the end of the tunnel. For today, it’s just resting, spending time with my best boy, and keeping myself mentally & emotionally balanced. I’m gonna try a guided meditation later on - my therapist has been recommending them. Can’t hurt, right?