#052014

My birthday is in four days. This is the first birthday without my grandma here. It's the ugliest feeling I have ever felt. I feel so sad on the inside. Like I can feel my face frowning. I'll react when I notice that I'm just staring blankly out the window. I wanna tell my best friend that this is how I feel but I feel like I make her sad about her grandma when I talk about mine. I mean she understands me all my best friends understand me. I just don't know. I literally wanna sleep until Monday, since my birthday is Sunday. I just don't want to deal with it. I don't wanna attention. I'm normally so excited for my birthday. I'll literally celebrate it the entire week. But this year I just want to lay in bed with my grandmas blanket. It'll all just make me cry. It just hurts.