#03x10

the look sam gives dean at the end of 03x10 is really something. it’s like. you want to live. i am so glad you want to live. because you want to live, because you’ve said it out loud, saving you has become more possible than it was before. it hurts because dean knows, has known this whole time, that sam wants to save him— that ruby told sam that she knew how to save him, only ruby was lying, and sam doesn’t know that ruby was lying about that. but here dean is, saying it out loud. i don’t want to die. i don’t want to go to hell. good, sam thinks, you can be saved because you’ll allow me to try to save you. and this is the most agonizing thing in the world because sam is made of determination and hope. there is optimism here because dean is willing, now, to try and actually get out of this. and sam believes he has a way. dean knows that this way does not exist and here he is, granting sam this momentary bright side. he doesn’t squander the hope, in this moment, with something like “well don’t bet on ruby, that bitch is lying.” he kind of just lets sam have this small, temporary win in thinking that this could finally go their way, because dean is finally on board with the save dean plan. sometimes, i wish i could have that kind of innocence. if it means anything, sometimes i wish you could, too.

if i was dick grayson i'd crawl up in a ball and die