@rowanfisher
He has to physically force himself not to let his shoulders cave in, and succumb to the pressure pushing against him. He tries not to think of Sylvia, of the life she’d been robbed of, the way death came knocking at her door. Instead, he finds himself focused on Benny, leaning over the hospital crib, his tiny hand now clasped around Andy’s finger as the woman from CPS explains to him what will happen next. Because of his record, they’re hesitant to put Benny in his custody. But given that he’s kept his act together and kept his record clean for the last seven months -- They’re willing to make an exception, with a CPS worker coming each week to check in. He doesn’t fight it, signing every paper she hands him, hearing every other word as he focuses on the baby in front of him. They’ll have to go before a judge, eventually -- To have him finalized as Benny’s legal guardian. That’s something he’ll sort out tomorrow, making a mental note to call Kameer in the morning.
He doesn’t sleep after she leaves, the sun setting an hour after. Benny stirs awake eventually, letting out cries as the nurse checks his vitals. She turns to Andy, giving him a sad smile, before telling him that physical contact is good for babies, before leaving. He doesn’t hesitant, gathering the boy in his arms the second she shuts the door. Benny’s head lays against his chest, Andy’s hand carefully placed between the baby’s back and the back of his neck to keep him level. He bounces him gently, staring out the window at the Dallas skyline while the sun sets. He tries not to think about he once dreamed of holding Maddie like this. “S’okay, buddy,” he finds himself coo, Benny’s cries subsiding as Andy holds him close, eyes staring at the top of the baby’s head. It’s surreal, being in this moment, this place. “You’re okay, I got ya.” He continues, voice barely above a whisper as his motions seem to rock Benny back to sleep.
The only thing that pulls him from the moment is the soft sound of the door opening again. Andy fully expects to see the nurse walk back in, sure to deliver bad news about some count being low or his heart not beating enough. Another tragedy to lay on top of them, to pull him under. Instead, he sees the soft glow of the hallway light up Rowan, and he finds himself letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He turns slowly, revealing Benny in his arms to her. He’s not sure if the two have met -- He knows Sylvia kept in touch with Rowan too, even after the divorce, but he doesn’t know if she knew much about her son. “Hey, baby.” He finally says, sighing out the word as the exhaustion hits him. He glances down at Benny, continuing to hold him close to his chest, finding comfort in hear the sound of his breathing, the small noises he makes when he wiggles a bit. “Hell of a day, huh?”
