#007fest2018

Bond tried to hide his greedy stare behind his glass. “Yes. Lovely.”

Q’s said the phrase “Agent hit, medevac status?” eleven times while running missions. Twice for Double-Oh Two, Once for Double-Oh Four, Once for Double-Oh Five, Four times for Double-Oh Six (two of them on the same mission), Once for Double-Oh Seven, and Twice for Double-Oh Nine. The first time he says “I’ve been hit,” it falls from his mouth more like a question than a statement. He manages to stave off his shock long enough to use his tie as a tourniquet around his upper thigh and apply pressure with one hand while diffusing the bomb with his other.

No, the real surprise was Q. The man could keep up verbally with Bond, which delighted him. His quick-to-action decisiveness and ability to change directions on a dime intrigued him. But what confounded him, left him staring in absolute awe of the man, was wandering into the gym to find Q sparring with 002. Bond had sparred with her before, and from the looks of things, she wasn’t pulling her punches. Somehow, though, Q managed to avoid almost every single hit (the kick to his shin in a moment of frustration was a dirty move on her part). Bond, all plans for working out abruptly abandoned, watched in captivation. Q was quick on his feet, gracefully in his movements as he ducked and dodged, hands up to catch any blows that did seek him out. By the time 002 threw her hands up in exasperation and laughed, Bond was more than a little enthralled by the development (and more than a little aroused).

Bond and Q have rather different tastes in literature. The first time Bond visited Q’s apartment, he was surprised to find it was not, in fact, filled to the brim with science, math, and engineering texts. Instead, his bookshelves held books that ran the gamut from pulp fiction novels to literary classics, poetry to erotic fiction (Q’s resigned, “Really, 007?” couldn’t distract from the blush that crossed his cheeks when Bond held up his copy of “Delta of Venus”). Q is not at all surprised to find Bond’s bookshelf full of history books and biographies but is caught pleasantly off-guard at the small collection of science fiction and fantasy novels. Of course, Q has the good grace not to remark on his reading material…until he finds a bodice ripper romance novel in the back of Bond's nightstand drawer.

Q takes his Earl Grey with a splash of milk and two sugars (sometimes three if it’s been a bit of a trying day). With the amount of tea he consumes, you’d expect him to practically vibrate from the caffeine, but he’s built up quite a tolerance. Bond prefers coffee, but when he does opt for a cuppa it’s either a builder’s tea or a carefully brewed Lapsang Souchong, taken black. The smoky flavour and peaty undertone reminds him of whiskey, which is the only reason he enjoys it. Eve has always been a wild card and regularly changes what she’s drinking. She’s got one cupboard full of tea at home—everything from red raspberry to organic Darjeeling. Because of the wide variety, she doesn’t take her tea any one way; instead, she doctors each cup to taste based on what she’s drinking. Bill has always been a fan of green jasmine tea. He usually takes it with a spoon of honey, but if he’s treating himself, there’s a cafe near MI6 that does a spectacular green jasmine and vanilla latte.

Partners, though—partners can inspire intense waves of jealousy that leaves him confused and embarrassed. Q hates that he can get jealous over the smallest and most irrational things (especially as he’s one who usually prides himself on his rationality). He’s not so possessive to ask that they no longer hang out with their friend who is a bit too tactile or to call them out when they casually flirt with a waiter, never demands they focus solely on him. But if he responds with a touch more forcefulness the next time they fall into bed, fulfils his need to claim them as his own, to mark them as his, well…none of his partners seem to mind.

It’s an unwritten rule at MI6 that you don’t just open utility or supply closets willy-nilly. Many an intern has been emotionally (and some physically) scarred by what they’ve accidentally stumbled upon in their search for more staples or toilet paper. 005 currently holds the record for being caught in flagrante delicto in the most utility closets around the building: twice in the third floor closet near Accounting, twice in the closet in the locker room, once in the Armory’s supply closet, and, on one memorable occasion, in a medical supplies closet with the newest nurse on staff in Medical. The poor kid almost got fired before 005 finally took the blame.