Is Freddie being kind to you? Why does he only touch you when no one else is around? Is this what love is supposed to feel like? Why do you feel special when he chooses you, yet small when he leaves? Does he talk to other patients like this too? Would he still come if you said no? Why doesn’t he stay long? Why do you have to be good to keep him close? Does Freddie ever think about you when you're not with him? Do you feel the need to prove you're worth staying for? Why does it feel like a secret you're supposed to protect? If it were real, wouldn’t he want others to know? What would happen if you told someone? If you are here, wouldn't it be good if Freddie loved you? Wouldn't it be good if a man wanted to marry you? Wouldn't it take you out of the asylum? Then why would he or you not tell anyone? If this is love, why does it feel so quiet and hidden? If it’s not love, why does it feel so hard to let go of?
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Freddie does love me, he does, I know he does because he said he does, how else am I meant to know? What else am I meant to believe? That he did all this without my permission...? I let him.
He doesnt speak to other patients like he speaks to me, he told me so... he told me... I feel fine when he leaves, I feel fine, I feel fine...! And he says he'll marry me someday and that he'll take me away from here someday... w—why'd you ask so many questions...? Can't you see—
