#-tonightalive

Christina shook her head. She gritted her teeth and took in a deep breath.  “No. I am going to talk and you’re going to fucking listen, okay? I need you to listen to me and listen well because I am not saying it again. I didn’t care for Gerard because we had differing ideologies. But I did like him as a partner for you. Got it? I knew he was good for you. He treated you well and he understood you and you understood him. I don’t know what it is like to lose a husband, but I know what it is like to lose someone you love.

“And I know that it hurts. That there is an ache in your chest that won’t go away. I know that you have no idea how it happened. You can’t even breathe knowing that they’re not here with you anymore. You think that you can’t live in this world if they’re not by your side…but you have to. You have to keep on going forward because if you don’t, it would be an insult to Gerard’s memory. You will become trapped inside of yourself. You can’t stop living because he’s gone. Your life doesn’t solely revolve around him breathing. You still have a family that is here for you. A family that is alive and breathing and isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. You have a daughter and another kid on the way.

“You are not going to be me and disappear. Do you understand? You are going to cry and then get off your ass and continue living. You tell Ava what happened and explain that shit happens. And you can’t let that one shitty thing define you for the rest of your life. You are not going to be a widow who stops her life because she lost her husband. You have a lot more work to do. You have years and years ahead of you.” Christina’s eyes were ablaze as she spoke to her best friend. She was dead serious and she meant every word. “I need you to let me know that you understand that you have to keep moving.”

Thais blinked a few times and wiped the tears away. She bit her bottom lip as she nodded quickly. She couldn’t even find words to reply to Christina. Only a tight hug would let her know. 

Christina was surprised by the sudden embrace, but she eventually wrapped her arms around Thais. “Don’t blame yourself for his death. Don’t believe for a goddamn second that because you fell in love with him that you’re the reason he’s dead  now. His death is not your fault.” The firebender held the wolf even tighter. “Trust me. You’re going to make it past this. You always do. You’re strong, Thais. You’re probably stronger than I am. Stronger than I’ll ever be,” Christina told her. 

♛: my muse finds your muse after they ran away.

Mateo shook hands and greeted some of his friends and family members. He smiled, a glass of champagne in one hand, and said his hellos and thank yous. In two days, he was going to marry the love of his life. 

“Christina is gone,” a voice said in his ear. Mateo furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the server. 

“Did you just say Christina is gone?” Thais asked, staring incredulously at her brother. She put her glass on a table and lifted up part of her dress so she could walk faster. “I am going to find her and kick her ass all the way back here!”

“T, wait,” Mateo said, grabbing her arm. “Let me find her. I think this needs a gentler touch.”

Thais stopped and gave him a look, raising her eyebrows in surprise. “Alright. You go ahead and handle my train wreck of a best friend. When it goes up in flames literally, call me,” she said, picking her glass back up and heading in the other direction.

Mateo shook his head, laughing lightly as he watched Thais complain about a rogue colored napkin. He stuck his hands in his pockets as he went to search for Christina. After nearly fifteen minutes of looking, he didn’t find her. Surely, she had to be okay because he knew she could take care of herself. A part of himself thought that maybe she left him just before the wedding. 

The werewolf stood at the edge of the woods and sat down on the top of a small slope. Hopefully, people wouldn’t miss him too much back at the party. It was quiet where he sat. Even with his werewolf hearing, he couldn’t hear the chatter and music. Only the unique sound of nature: the crickets, the breeze, an occasional owl hooting.

“I thought that the vodka would make me feel better, but I think it made it worse. Do you want any?” Christina asked, emerging from the woods. She held up the bottom of her dress so she could maneuver her way towards him. She smiled halfway as she sat down and passed him the bottle. After he took a small sip, Christina took a large swig, wincing as it went down. “Thought that maybe you ran off and left me.”

“I thought that you ran off and left me,” he said with a laugh. He pulled his legs up and rested his arms on top of his knees. Mateo looked over at his fiancee, wondering what it was that bothered her. “Are you okay?”

“I feel so fucked up. I look at your family and they’re…they’re great. They’re amazing. And I look at mine and I don’t see it. Aron and his wife…they’re great…but everyone else, including me…We’re just all so fucked up. I don’t know if I can do it sometimes…living, you know? My parents…they did what firebenders do best. They…they burned every part of me. They burned all the parts of me that made a person human. I-I can’t feel what I’m supposed to feel. I can’t feel the regret or love. I can’t have hope. They killed all those parts and those parts have been dead for so long that I don’t think they can be resuscitated.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better about knowing what your parents did to you, Katarin,” Mateo said. He reached out for her hand to hold it tightly. 

Christina gave him a small smile and dipped her head down. “What I’m saying is that I think we can rehabilitate ourselves with the help of the people we surround ourselves with. I won’t ever be the girl I was before I had my powers, but I can get as close as I can to it with you by my side. I won’t leave you. I promise.”

Mateo’s gaze softened as he listened to Christina’s words. It was hard enough for Christina to open up to Thais and here she was opening up to him. She trusted him and sometimes with her, that was more powerful than love. And Christina promising him not to leave…that was a big deal. It was like she was giving her wedding vows right now in front of him.

The wolf couldn’t help but smile as they sat there in silence. He ran over Christina’s words in his head. He wanted to remember them for as long as they lived. He held out his hand, taking a sip of the vodka she brought over.

Minutes passed and he finally broke the silence. “You want to get some ice cream?” Mateo asked. 

Christina looked at the near empty bottle of vodka. She let out a sigh and bit her lower lip as she thought about his offer. “Yeah. I saw an ice cream parlor down the street from here,” she said, emptying the bottle of alcohol. 

“Great,” he said, standing up and hold out a hand for Christina. “I could really use some vanilla ice cream. Those cakes Thais ordered are too fancy for my taste.”

“Vanilla? Really? Life’s too fucking short for vanilla. Live a little why don’t you,” Christina said as they walked through the woods towards the street.

“You always get mint chocolate chip. Why don’t you try something else? Live a little, ma cherie,” Mateo fired back playfully. 

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Hey, you can’t say the f word. The church is over there.”

“Then just shut up.”