Jul 17
I made the realization I can pickle things and now I'm going feral
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I made the realization I can pickle things and now I'm going feral
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Didn't really notice the constant feeling of guilt / need to defend my actions until I read it was a symptom of c-ptsd and now it's bothering me because it really is constant.
Every little thing I have an excuse for just in case. I have to have things at work and at my house set up a specific way or I get panicky at the thought of someone being mad at me. I can't be out late or on my phone too much without feeling bad about it. I overthink every conversation I have. I get sick to my stomach if I even think someone didn't like something I did. I'm literally on edge 24/7 and feel the need to lie about the dumbest smallest things.
I don't really know where to start when it comes to working on that, but at least I'm aware of it now, so that's something.
It's very sad our social media of choice is tumblr because none of our friends (besides the two we convinced to get it lol) or our partner have it so it's like. Yes, we're very open about our system and are comfortable posting as ourselves!
...but only on an app that no one we know irl will see.
We try to on discord but it's hard when it's just texting, though that has been a nice change for us and it's definitely helping us feel safer being perceived.
I'm hoping we can find a way to talk about ourselves more without it seeming conceited 😅 it's very awkward to infodump when we aren't directly asked first.
Had an alter we thought was dormant but he's co-con right now and also apparently fused? Sometimes you just gotta wonder what your brain is actually doing and for why
Finding so much joy in cooking these days 💕 I love shopping for groceries and planning meals and learning new skills
I was scared about that part of living on my own, but it's become one of my favorite things
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Our throat is always suspiciously sore after AJ fronts
System-ifying our friends is our favorite hobby
Very funny to me that Circus has the chance to discuss the system and the first thing he does is start roasting people
I don't fully remember what he said about me but I do remember my name coming up...boy what did you say. Get back here I just want to talk /lh