#-agott

i keep talking into nothing and it is both a pathetic attempt at normalcy and a comfort. i think i miss my audience, the rest of the system who were engaging with me earlier. in some way i think i kicked them out, got too overwhelmed. i threw up.

today i found myself shaking at the sight of mold, not out of some fear of mine, but a subconscious reaction of the body’s. it was alarming, for no reason other than fear of the unknown.

i feel so idiotic. there’s a kind of aching in my chest, this sort of ceaseless craving for attention (i have received some today, it should be enough). very few will know my name, and less will choose to call me by it. i am lonely by circumstance.

If I had to, I would save you from the edge millions upon millions of times. I just wish you would stop walking right back to that ledge.

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