#*record

Once she found a record shop, she was sure to muster all of her fleeting attention to soak up everything she could. She wandered the aisles with pristine precision, analysing every single cover, every genre, every artist, for some secret she was sure lied within. She wanted to be as knowledgeable as her amazing boyfriend, she wanted to be cultured and wise. Of course, that was easier said than done, and she still had no idea what she was doing after an hour of pretending like she did. She honestly couldn’t tell one record from the other and she was too embarrassed to admit defeat.

“Can I help you find something?”

She looked up and found herself face to face with a chipper looking sales clerk, his name tag read Mingyu. His face read how can I help you on this fine day?

“Yes!” She beamed in relief. “I’m looking for a record for my boyfriend, he wanted me to find something he had never heard of before. Which will be hard because he’s basically listened to every song on the planet.”

While she laughed and he laughed along politely, she hoped that he wouldn’t see right through her.

“What kind of music is he interested in?”

“Oh all sorts.” She clarified and yet didn’t clarify at all. “I really have no idea what to get him, if I’m personally honest. He likes some crazy bands like—Moldy Peaches? I think?”

Mingyu nodded and hummed as if she had provided him with everything he had ever needed. “Looks like you need a personal recommendation from the Wizard. Follow me.”

I need a what from the who?

Despite her evident confusion and general reluctance, she followed after Mingyu with moderate scepticism. They weaved their way through the aisles while he offered quiet statements such as “I’ll be right with you” and “can you man the front” to customers and employees they passed. She had no idea where he was taking her, but they were heading deeper and deeper into a store she wasn’t quite sure was even big enough to be that big. For a moment she wondered if he was guiding her to her doom.

In a way, he was.

As they rounded a corner, they finally found some semblance of life in the form of some dreary looking fellow hunched over his computer, narrowing his eyes at it in either concentration or frustration. All around him were stacks of papers, records, books, and everything else you could imagine to stack. Looking closely, she noticed that his name tag said Woo and for some reason all she could hear was someone saying Woohoo very unenthusiastically in the back of her mind.

“Wonwoo, you busy?”

Woo/Woohoo/Wonwoo didn’t even look up as he shrugged. “Kinda, what’s up?”

“We need to consult the Wizard.” Mingyu said like it was the most normal thing ever. “Music recommendation for a musically inclined boyfriend who’s into indie.”

Without missing a beat, and without looking up still, Wonwoo pulled a record out from one of his stacks and handed it over to Mingyu. “Here.”

“Thanks man, I owe you.” Mingyu returned and turned to her with a smile. “Think this will do?”

She was too busy trying to understand the odd situation with the “Wizard” to really offer an intelligent response. “Yea—yes. This looks perfect, thank you.”

Mingyu beamed with pride. “Don’t thank me, thank the Wizard. He does all the hard work around here anyway.”

While she halfway expected Woo/Woohoo/Wonwoo/Wizard to return with some sort of witty retort, he simply shrugged. But she could see a different response swimming in his ebony eyes. As if he was afraid to speak his mind in front of her. Interesting.

“Thank you, Woohoo—Wonwoo.” She stammered, cursing the little voice in the back of her head. “Thank you Wonwoo.”

The response he offered was little more than a nod of the head. She almost missed him sneak a glance, it was so quick she wasn’t entirely sure it had even happened.

“Alright, we won’t keep you.” Mingyu interrupted when there really wasn’t anything to interrupt. “Thanks again, hyung.”

She wasn’t quite sure what just happened.

As quickly as she had been guided into the secret nethers of Meanie’s Record Shop she was promptly escorted back out. Looking back over her shoulder she could’ve sworn she heard the surly Wonwoo say, “don’t forget about my 10% consultation fee,” with a ghost of a smile. It was perhaps the warmest smile she had ever seen.

Now she knew that she was imagining things.

Long after she paid for her record, said goodbye to the overly chipper and undeniably handsome Mingyu, she couldn’t stop her mind from wandering to thoughts of the elusive Wonwoo.

Her boyfriend thought his existence was hilarious, a record shop Wizard, and they spent quite a long time laughing about it. She didn’t necessarily find it funny, she found it intriguing. But she had a hard time disagreeing with her boyfriend so she laughed along with him.

When he asked her to go get another record for him, Meanie’s was her first (and only) choice. The way he asked her though made her think that he doubted the validity of Wonwoo’s capabilities and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Still, she did as he asked. She found her way back into the little hole in the wall and smiled happily when she saw Mingyu standing behind the counter.

This was her second mistake.

“Welcome back!” He exclaimed, perky as ever. “Did your boyfriend approve of the Wizard’s decision?”

“He did!” She returned. “He liked it so much in fact that he wanted me to come back and see if the Wizard would be right twice.”

Mingyu chuckled underneath his breath. “In all fairness to your skeptical boyfriend, Wonwoo is never wrong. He always knows what you need.”

“And that’s why you call him Wizard?” She halfway teased.

“That’s why we call him Wizard.” He agreed, motioning for her to follow. “Let’s step into his office and see what he has for you today.”

Then they embarked on the same journey for the second time. She could’ve sworn that her heart rate picked up a little in anticipation, but she was probably imagining it. She had the same feeling the first time she was lead back into Wonwoo land so it was most likely the underlying anxiety and nothing more. Still, she did her best to ignore it and was failing miserably.

When she spotted Wonwoo amongst the clutter it looked like he hadn’t moved since the last time she was there. He might’ve even been wearing the same outfit but of that she couldn’t be certain. The only difference she noticed immediately was that his many stacks of many things gained in stacitude. She tried not to be too overtly amused, Wonwoo seemed to notice anyway. She could’ve sworn that he almost smiled.

Almost.

“Hey Woo.” Mingyu greeted with a curt wave. “We have a repeat customer, remember uppity musically inclined boyfriend who’s into indie? His girlfriend is back for round two.”

“Hey!” She protested behind him. “We never said uppity!”

“You didn’t, I did.” Mingyu winked playfully. “So, you got the goods my goodly good man?”

Wonwoo, on the other hand, already had a record ready for her. “Is that all?”

Taking the album in hand, Mingyu bowed slightly in respect, or awe. “Yes, thank you Grand Master Wonwoo. Your services are without equal.”

“So he’s the Grand Master now?” She chimed in. “How many nicknames does he have?”

“Plenty.” Wonwoo clarified, much to her surprise. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m pretty busy.”

Nodding in understanding, she turned to leave when she thought she heard him swear under his breath. She couldn’t resist, she peered around to look at his computer screen. He was playing Fortnite.

Mingyu burst out laughing. “Oh she’s done it now. You’ve been busted, the whole dark brooding aesthetic has been shattered.”

Wonwoo honestly didn’t look fazed in the slightest. “I don’t have a dark brooding aesthetic.”

“That, my friend,” Mingyu began to her, “is what we call oblivion. Hyung,” turning back to Wonwoo, “you have no self awareness.”

He shrugged in response. “That’s fine. I’m still busy being dark and brooding while playing Fortnite.”

Oh. She halfway gasped when she spotted a coy grin twitching at his lips. He’s trying to be funny. He’s actually really funny.

She couldn’t help it, she started to laugh. There was just something about Wonwoo sitting there surrounded by eclectic treasures with his typical emotionless expression and being sassy to his friend that made her giggle out of control. She was sure that they were probably giving her the oddest look but she didn’t care, she had never met anyone quite like Wonwoo and she was sure that he was a one in a billion type of guy.

Regardless, he was chuckling along with her. It was an interesting sound, or it was interesting how that sound made her feel. His laugh was very light, despite his deep voice, and it lifted her spirits considerably. It made her feel--comfortable, almost as if his laughter was some unknown cure from some even more unknown ailment that ailed her. While hearing it she was suddenly overcome with this strange realization that she couldn’t recall ever feeling anything quite like it. She would’ve loved to hear more of Wonwoo’s laugh. She wanted to feel the things that his laugh made her feel.

“This is starting to get weird. Wonwoo smiling, laughing, it’s unnatural.” Mingyu muttered, amusement clear on his face. “Let’s get you out of here before it’s too late.”

Nodding and trying to compose herself, she waved goodbye to the Wizard. “He’s right, I should get going. Thanks again for the personal recommendation. It was nice seeing you, Wonwoo.”

That seemed to catch him off guard but a hesitant smile creased his lips. “You too, have a good one.”

Her heart skipped a beat.

She decided to ignore the strange sensation and instead followed Mingyu back out to the front where she would pay for her record just as before and most likely never see either of them ever again. The thought didn’t make her sad, per se, but it didn’t make her happy either. Not in the slightest. Surely her boyfriend was capable of going to the record shop on his own time but she had enjoyed her trips to Meanie’s up until that point and hoped they could continue. She wanted nothing more than to sit there and chat away with the two young men she had such a fun time with, even in the smallest of doses.

I could always keep Meanie’s a secret. She mused to herself as she sat next to her boyfriend while they—well, he—watched a documentary on the Rolling Stones. I don’t see why I can’t keep making trips for him. It’s not that big of a deal.

That small decision was her third mistake.

In the following weeks she made a couple of trips to Meanie’s for her boyfriend, but she also made a couple completely unprompted. Just to stop by to see how Mingyu and Wonwoo were doing. She never stayed long, only a minute or two each time. A quick hello, a stray smirk, a flutter of a feeling that she couldn’t name, and a hesitant goodbye moments later. She enjoyed her time there, she enjoyed learning more about music from people who didn’t belittle her.

Not that her boyfriend belittled her, not exactly. Sometimes she just felt that he thought he was better than her for his extensive knowledge of obscure bands and her lack thereof. Of course it wasn’t intentional, he cared about her and she cared about him. He would apologize if she brought it up, and she’d forgive him each time. She’d smile, kiss him gently, and all would be forgiven but not necessarily forgotten.

On a cloudy Wednesday after a lunch date with her boyfriend, she found herself almost unconsciously heading towards Meanie’s. She was intellectually exhausted after learning about the shift from classic rock to modern rock and how music was dying--according to her boyfriend, and she needed a break from that. She needed to just forget about all of the things she had to remember since she agreed to go out with her music obsessed boyfriend. All of the facts and all of the history, it was too much for her to process some days. Most days.

Walking into Meanie’s she was shocked to see Soonyoung behind the counter instead of Mingyu. It was silly of her to think that he would always be there no matter what, he was a living breathing human with a living breathing life. Still, she walked right up to him with confusion evidently evident on her face.

“He’s out for lunch.” Soonyoung clarified immediately. “He should be back in the next 20 minutes or so if you want to wait.”

Pursing her lips, she shook her head. “No, that’s okay. I’m just going to go back and say hi to Wonwoo then I’ll be gone.”

With a polite wave she said goodbye to Soonyoung and headed back towards her favorite place in the whole store. Alone. A nagging sensation at the back of her mind.

Maybe I shouldn’t be here.

Maybe I should.

Which was her fourth mistake.

“Hey.” She greeted sheepishly when she turned the corner and saw him sitting there as always. “Busy?”

Looking up from his computer, Wonwoo almost smiled. “No, not really. Need another recommendation for the boyfriend?”

She shook her head. “Not today, just wanted to stop in to see how you and Mingyu were doing. But he’s not here so I guess I’m just here to see you!”

Wonwoo’s eyes lit up. “Oh—well, thanks for visiting. Mingyu’s going to be sad that he missed you.”

“Make sure you tell him I said hello.” She continued, uneasiness rising inside of her.

“Will do.”

There was a brief silence when neither really knew what else to say, up until that point they always had Mingyu to smooth over any awkward tension that might exist. Without him, they didn’t know how to proceed or how to act. As they stood there and the silence persisted, she couldn’t help but wonder if stopping by was such a good idea after all.

She had to say something before her face started to show the embarrassment she felt.

“What’re you listening to?” She suddenly blurted out when she spotted the lone earbud in his ear.

A look of confusion crossed his face before he remembered that he was, in fact, listening to music. “Oh, umm… it’s—" he began as he started clicking away with his mouse. “Hollow Caves, heard of them?”

“No, I don’t think so.” She admitted honestly, something she would be afraid to do if her boyfriend had asked. “Mind if I have a listen?”

“S-sure!” Wonwoo sorta stuttered, unplugging his headphones so she could hear. “If you don’t like it we can always listen to something else.”

She wasn’t sure why that polite sentence made her heart race. She always felt like she was on her toes around Wonwoo, like she was afraid of offending him or something. Perhaps some part of her expected all musically inclined people to behave similarly, because she was afraid to disagree with her boyfriend. His music taste was superior to hers and he wasn’t ashamed to admit it. Out loud. Constantly.

Wonwoo was different.

She liked different.

For the first time since they met (for the sake of story), Wonwoo got up from his seat at his computer and crossed the crowded space to a couch she had never noticed before. Not that most would notice it buried underneath the mounds and mounds of boxes and discarded record sleeves. As he started to clear it off she couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt.

“You don’t need to do that!” She protested a bit louder than she intended. “I mean—I’m fine, you don’t need to clear it off for me.”

Despite her objections, he didn’t stop. “I’ve been meaning to organize this place a little anyway, besides, there’s literally nowhere else to sit.”

He was right, the only other thing she could see that even resembled furniture was the chair behind his desk and now she realized that it was just a pile of boxes. Somehow that added to his charm. Whatever charm he possessed. He wasn’t bothered by the little things and he made the best of what he had. She kind of liked that, she liked that he didn’t make a big deal out of it either. It was—refreshing.

“There.” He huffed when he was finished, hands on his hips. “Good as new.”

She wasn’t sure if he was kidding or not since the couch still looked like it had been salvaged from a collapsed building. She decided that he wasn’t and that somehow made the whole situation that much funnier.

“Thank you but you really didn’t have to.” She persisted. “I don’t want to trouble you.”

“It’s no trouble.” He countered, a ghost of a smile twitching at his lips. “I wanted to do it.”

Again, her heartbeat started pounding in her ears. She was beginning to wonder what was wrong with her.

“Of course you don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.” Wonwoo sputtered suddenly. “I’m sure you’re busy and have better things to do than keep me company in this poor excuse for an office.”

She offered him a kind smile. “I really don’t.”

(She really didn’t.)

The smile he returned was far kinder. “Feel free to make yourself comfortable.”

Nodding, she sat down on the old tattered couch and watched Wonwoo stuff some papers into a filing cabinet that had seen better days. As had most everything else in his “office”. A word she would never have associated before he said it yet now that’s all that she could see. From the business reports strewn across the floor and the order invoices tacked to a wall with darts embedded in them, it was definitely an office. A horribly chaotic office, but she didn’t find a problem with that.

Once he tidied up, he plopped down on the opposite end of the couch. He had two waters in hand, one he happily offered and she happily accepted. Leaning back, she really listened to the soothing music that was slowly filling up the empty space around them. They didn’t speak to each other and she didn’t mind it. The silence between them wasn’t as nagging as before, she wasn’t looking for a way out or something to say. Silence with Wonwoo wasn’t that awful, it wasn’t even bad. She actually enjoyed it a little, in fact. Once she got used to it.

Being comfortable with the silence didn’t mean that she didn’t have things she wanted to ask him. She wanted to ask him plenty of things, like what he did at Meanie’s, how long he’d known Mingyu. Why did he always wear beanies and how did he get so involved with music? Wonwoo was a curiosity and she couldn’t help but be curious. She couldn’t help her poor impulse control either.

It was as if a verbal dam burst in her damn mouth.

While she prattled on, he chuckled at either her ridiculousness or her abruptness. Whichever it was she was blushing nevertheless, embarrassed by how rash she was behaving. That didn’t stop her motormouth from motoring on.

“I’m a manager here.” Wonwoo began once she had run out of breath. “And a co-owner with Mingyu. We’ve known each other since we were kids, I was his first pick when he acquired this place. I always wear beanies because it’s cold back here and I can’t really remember how I got into music. It just happened one day.”

She nodded along as he spoke, unaware that he had nothing more to say.

“Is that all?” He questioned with a smile. “Anything else that you’ve been dying to ask?”

“Ah—no, that’s it.” She stammered, wringing out her hands in her lap. “At least--at least for now. I’m sure I’ll think of something else because I can’t stop—"

She stopped herself before it was too late. Can’t stop thinking about you? Was I really going to say that to him? As much as it might be true I can’t just go around saying that to people, it makes me look weird!

“Can’t stop what?” Wonwoo asked innocently, completely oblivious to the raging turmoil inside of her.

Laughing nervously, she waved it off like it was nothing. “Can’t stop thinking up weird questions, obviously.”

Obviously.

Luckily for her and her friendly relationship with the two Meanie boys, Mingyu appeared from around the corner with a bewildered look on his face. It probably completely contrasted her euphoric look of pure relief.

“When Soonyoung said that Wonwoo had a visitor I thought he was lying.” He started. “Should’ve known it was you!”

“Hey, I was coming to visit both of you!” She protested, springing up from the couch and giving her unknowing savior a hug. “It’s not my fault you weren’t here, that’s your problem.”

Wonwoo cleared his voice behind them. “I’m going to get back to work now.”

Startled, she turned and saw him return to his desk where his face had morphed from the pleasant smile she loved to the emotionless deadpan she first met. The switch was drastic and a bit unsettling, she didn’t really know what to make of it or what to do. Looking back to Mingyu he obviously didn’t notice the shift like she had. He was saluting his coworker and leading her out before she could even question what just happened.

“Thanks for stopping by.” He mused as they walked. “It’s good for Wonwoo to interact with real live people every now and then.”

She pressed her lips together in thought. “I don’t know, he didn’t seem too happy about it.”

“Are you kidding?” Mingyu half asked half laughed. “You should’ve seen the look on his face, like he’d just seen the sun for the first time. He only ever looks like that when I bring him food.”

I did see the look on his face. She reminded herself. That doesn’t change the fact that it disappeared at the drop of a pin.

“Either way, don’t worry about it too much.” He tried to reassure her. “He doesn’t really know what’s good for himself anyway. That’s what he has you and I for.”

“R-right.” She agreed hesitantly, trying her best to accept his words even when her heart was screaming at her to go back.

Had she gone, it would’ve been her fifth mistake. But that mistake was saved for her next visit after getting into a disagreement with her boyfriend.

She couldn’t remember much from early that day, only that she was supposed to introduce her boyfriend to her parents that morning and he was, decidedly, nowhere to be found. He knew about the meeting, they talked about it the night before, but where was he? She had no idea. After a handful of calls and a couple dozen text messages, she made up some excuse why he couldn’t make it and apologized to her poor parents (who, mind you, had driven all the way from Busan to meet him).

Turns out he had rushed out to buy some shady band merch from some shady character under some shady bridge somewhere in shadytown. That’s why he missed probably one of the more important milestones in their relationship and she wasn’t too happy with him. But instead of talking it out with him she decided it would be a better idea to go and pay Mingyu and Wonwoo a visit, she prefered their company most days anyway.

Which was why it was her fifth mistake. And quite possibly her sixth.

When she came in it must’ve been pretty evident that she was having a rough day because Mingyu immediately leapt over the counter and approached her with open arms. She wrapped herself around him and nuzzled into his chest. She just wanted to forget about the past six hours and enjoy a little peace and quiet. Meanie’s was exactly what she needed.

“Why don’t you head on back.” He whispered to her. “I’ll be right there I just have a few things to take care of.”

Nodding, she did as she was instructed and let her feet carry her through the store as they had a dozen times before. Wonwoo said something to her when she came around the corner but didn’t seem to grasp her current situation. After a minute or two and she was just standing there without saying anything, he started to put it together.

“Hey, are you alright?” He asked, genuinely concerned. “Come sit down and I’ll grab you some water or something.”

It was hard to place what she was feeling, she was trying desperately not to let herself be angry or annoyed and didn’t really know where that left her. Dating her boyfriend seemed to be a lot of low expectations and hoping for the best. She remembered when he asked her out and she thought it was the best thing to ever happen to her. She was certain that it would all work out, he was a guy worth hoping for. That’s what everyone said and she wanted desperately to believe it.

Eventually she was able to shake the dark cloud hovering around her loose and slowly returned to reality. She was sitting on the couch, Wonwoo was an arms length away from her, and there was a warm cup of coffee in her hands. She did her best to smile if only to ease Wonwoo a little. He looked so concerned—she couldn’t bear it.

“Thank you, Wonwoo.” She mumbled. “But I’m okay, really. I just—needed to collect my thoughts.”

“I think you need a little more than that.” He objected. “What happened? Is there anything I can do?”

She sighed and raised the coffee to her lips. “Can you turn back time? Stop my boyfriend from standing me up? Stop him from standing my parents up? No? Then no, I don’t need anything.”

She paused for a second, realizing how she was coming across. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so bitchy. I’m just—I’m tired? I think? I had to make up excuses for him so my parents didn’t get the wrong impression and think he was this bad guy when in reality—”

“When in reality he’s actually a bad guy?” Wonwoo finished with a stern look. “I don’t care what his excuse is, no guy worth anything ever stands anyone up. Especially not his girlfriend.”

“But—”

“No buts.” He interrupted. “Don’t let him get away with this, okay? You deserve way more than that.”

Leaning back, she knew that he had a point but she couldn’t quite accept it. “I just want to move past it, put it behind us. He’s really a good guy he just--he gets sidetracked.”

Wonwoo didn’t look entirely, or even partially, convinced. “Alright, sure, he’s a good guy. Can you give this to him? Personal recommendation from me.”

Before she could question him he had a CD held out towards her. North of The Yellowhead. She didn’t even know that they had CDs and didn’t really know what to do with it.

“I know it’s not a record, my apologies for that.” Wonwoo continued. “But make sure he pays special attention to track 10.”

Track 10? She wondered. “Maria’s Last Words? Do I even want to know?”

“Let’s just say you should be a bit more like Maria.” He smirked. “Because he’s being a real Captain Tractor right now.”

She couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled past her lips. “So the answer is no, I don’t want to know. But--thank you, Wonwoo. Your strange pep talk actually helped.”

“Anytime.” He smiled triumphantly. “Oh, and this—is for you. Free of charge.”

It was another CD. Custom, slipped into a purple sleeve and a simple two words written on it. Feel Better. She looked up at him in disbelief, there was no way that he was going to know that she needed cheering up. No offense to the wizard, but he couldn’t be that good.

He toed a stray candy wrapper sheepishly. “I just wrote that on there. I had the CD for a couple of days.”

Of course. She realized. “Is this a mixtape, Jeon Wonwoo?”

“Kinda?” He admitted. “They’re just some songs I thought you’d like. You don’t seem like the record type so I was a bit out of my element.”

“You didn’t cheat with your Wizard powers?” She teased him with a smile. “I’m a bit shocked, if I’m being honest.”

If she wasn’t mistaken, she could’ve sworn he was blushing.

And her heart was pounding.

“Well, I—”

“Alright!” Mingyu suddenly shouted, barrelling into view with a large mysterious pot in his hand. “Here we have the perfect feel good food. That’s right, you guessed it, my special homemade tteokguk to wash away all worries and all troubles.”

“You just have tteokguk ready and waiting?” She laughed quietly, thankful for the distraction. “Is it the New Year and I missed it?”

Wonwoo shook his head at her skepticism. “You’d be surprised how many meltdowns people have, Mingyu’s tteokguk has saved lives. Lives I tell you.”

Laughing, she found herself relaxing even further as Wonwoo and Mingyu pulled out bowls and utensils for their meal. It didn’t last long, she wasn’t one to sit around while others worked. While she waited on the couch she felt herself grow restless. Each time she attempted to help them set up they ushered her back into her seat, they wouldn’t even let her lift a finger.

“The tteokguk is an experience.” Wonwoo tried to tell her. “You just sit back and relax, we’ve got you covered.”

Resigned to her fate, she sighed. “Do you guys do this often? You seem very prepared.”

“I’m always prepared.” He said, his eyes softening. “Don’t you know that yet?”

Her mind wandered to the burned CD lying in her lap and she smiled. Wonwoo seemed to have a knack for knowing exactly what she needed. And she wasn’t sure if that was a result of his so called Wizard powers or if he was just genuinely an observant and caring human being. Maybe they weren’t so disconnected, maybe it was a little bit of both.

She decided not to think about it. She wanted to enjoy Mingyu’s special tteokguk and forget all about her boyfriend, if only for a moment. Wonwoo’s smile helped with that, it made the emptiness she felt feel warm. It made it more bearable, and less noticeable. She could get used to that. She wanted to. She wanted to spend more time with Wonwoo, and she made sure that she did.

That was the sixth mistake. And Mingyu seemed to notice.

He didn’t bring it up right away, it was probably after a few weeks of unknowingly interrupting her and Wonwoo’s music sessions that he decided to say something. Even then she was the one who broke the ice. He was escorting her back out front, uncharacteristically quiet, hands stuffed in his pockets, and she knew something was on his mind. Mingyu was usually a big ball of unyielding energy, the silence was unnerving. She couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m about to explode.” She finally admitted, stopping dead in her tracks. “I can practically hear your thoughts from here and it’s starting to scare me. Whatever you have to say, please spit it out.”

Mingyu chuckled. “Is it that obvious?”

“Definitely. What’s on your mind?”

He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to stress you out I’m just—I’m thinking.”

“About what?” She prompted. “It’s got to be pretty serious if you’re—”

“It’s Wonwoo.” He attempted to clarify, but it only made her panic more. “Oh God, he’s fine, sorry, I didn’t mean it like that—it’s—it’s actually got to do with you too.”

“Okay?” She dragged, unsure of where their conversation was going. “Care to elaborate before you give me a second heart attack?”

He looked extremely troubled and she had no idea why. “Maybe? I—I don’t know, well, I know that I should. But I have something I want to ask you first I just—I don’t know how you’re going to take it.”

“Oh my God, Mingyu.” She groaned. “Out with it already! It can’t be nearly as bad as all this waiting, trust me.”

“Alright, if you insist.” He continued reluctantly. “Are you—are you happy with your boyfriend? Like actually happy?”

Admittedly, she was slightly taken aback. “What? Of—of course! Why wouldn’t I—why are you asking me that of all things?”

“You’ve just been spending a lot of time with us lately.” He shrugged. “And by us I really mean Wonwoo.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Let me get this straight, you’re all worried about my relationship with my boyfriend because Wonwoo and I are friends now? Are you feeling okay Mingyu? You really should stop overworking yourself because you’re not making any sense.”

“So you’re telling me that there’s nothing going on between you two?” He pressed. “Nothing at all? Just friends? That’s it?”

“That’s it.” She sighed in relief. “Jesus, Mingyu. I thought this was something serious, you were starting to scare me.”

“You don’t think it’s serious?” He basically scoffed. “You spend all of your time with Wonwoo and I haven’t even heard you bring up le boyfriend in weeks. I figured I’d ask the question!”

Crossing her arms, she wasn’t amused. “While I totally appreciate your interest in my love life, I promise you that everything is fine. Wonwoo and I are friends. Just. Friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Is that all you had to ask?”

“Yeah. That’s it.” Mingyu finally relented. “Sorry for being nosy I’m just—keeping an eye out for Wonwoo. He—he knows that you’re just friends right?”

“Of course!” She protested perhaps a bit too loudly. “I mean—wait, has he said anything?”

He pursed his lips in thought. “Well, no, but I know my best friend. He cares about you. Just keep it kosher and make sure the boundaries are set. The last thing he needs is a broken heart.”

“Don’t worry, that’s not going to happen.” She swore. “I would never.”

He nodded with a smile. “Good. Thanks for humoring my paranoia, and thanks for dropping by again. You know you’re always welcome here.”

“Thanks for always making me feel welcome.” She beamed. “Even when you’re asking me awkward questions.”

“That’s my specialty.” He laughed. “Now get out of here before you miss your bus. Again.”

“Alright, alright.” She conceded, backing out of the shop. “Goodnight, Mingyu!”

They waved goodbye with a few dramatic kisses blown into the night, but his words were stuck in her brain. She hadn’t noticed a lack of interest in her boyfriend, he was actually out of town for the time being while he trailed some indie band across Europe, and yet Mingyu had. Just because she wasn’t obsessed with him didn’t mean that she was losing interest. Even so, he was the sort that appreciated a bit of distance. Sometimes a whole continents worth. Maybe—maybe she should’ve had more of a problem with that. Maybe she should’ve asked more of him.

Maybe she should’ve wanted to be with him.

This started the first real fight she ever had with her boyfriend. While she couldn’t really remember what it was about, she could only remember feeling belittled and ignored. How he would disappear for sometimes weeks on end and come back like nothing happened, how he didn’t feel it was necessary to include her in his life. She was angry, hurt, miserable and more. She cried and screamed, he sat and said nothing. He didn’t know what she wanted, and she didn’t know either. That somehow made her angrier. So she stormed out of his apartment and headed straight for Meanie’s without even thinking to question it.

Which was just another mistake, her seventh.

When she came in after he hurt her the first time, Mingyu knew. When she came in for the second time, he knew again. Sometimes she wondered who the real Wizard at the record shop was. He could read her easier than any book and he was next to her before the door even closed with his arms around her.

“You know the drill, head on back and I’m going to go get some freshly baked bukkumi.” He informed her as he pulled on his jacket. “You get comfy, relax, forget about the douchebag, I’ll be back soon.”

Fearing that anger would be laced into her voice, she simply nodded with a forced smile. He seemed to understand, with a salute he was out the door and off to cheer her up as he often did. She sighed once she was alone, waved unenthusiastically to Soonyong and headed towards the back. Not quite sure what she wanted Meanie’s to do for her, to make her feel better or make her forget. She would’ve taken anything at that point.

But the sight of Wonwoo sitting there didn’t do either, it just made her incredibly sad. He stood abruptly, sensing her distress, and she practically ran into his arms. Burying her face into the hollow of his neck she felt herself start to cry. She didn’t want to stain his shirt, she didn’t want to trouble him like that, but she couldn’t bring herself to step away. If anything she actually tightened her grip around him. She half expected him to protest, or push her away, except he didn’t budge. He was even holding her closer still, unbothered by her tears or her desperation for—what?

What did she want?

His calming hand on her back, his heart pounding against hers, she felt a lump settle into her throat. Eventually she either ran out of tears or the energy to produce them, her eyes were red and raw and she just wanted to sit down. Wonwoo took a good look at her while she wiped at the corners of her eyes. With a sad smile he brushed her hair aside, letting his fingers dust across her cheek. He didn’t say anything, at least not aloud. His eyes said it all though, all of the things she needed to hear. Slowly she started to feel better.

He guided her to the couch without a word and she collapsed onto it. Leaning her head back she closed her eyes, wondering how things had gotten to that point, how her perfect boyfriend turned out to be anything but. She sighed, telling herself not to think about it too much. Things would get better, or maybe they wouldn’t. Maybe she could just stay at Meanie’s forever and never see him again. Maybe that made her happy.

Suddenly, soft music surrounded her. The best cure she could’ve possibly asked for. She didn’t even flinch when Wonwoo occupied the spot beside her, she didn’t say anything as she relaxed against him. Didn’t protest when he wrapped an arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. She let her heavy lids flutter closed as she came to one single realization.

She would rather be at Meanie’s than with her boyfriend, and she had known that for quite some time.

She would rather be in Wonwoo’s arms than anyone else’s.

Mingyu was right, she felt something more for him than she should’ve.

Which wasn’t fair to him, not when she still had someone in her life. She knew that, understood that, but denied it all the same. She would let herself be selfish for a few moments more. She would let fantasy be reality, she would pretend that she belonged in the once place she shouldn’t be. She would be happy, hopelessly happy, for just a bit longer.

And then she would finally stop making mistakes.

Her relationship didn’t end in fire, it didn’t end like something out of a coming-of-age story on Netflix or a dramatic soap on Lifetime. As easily as they became, with a smirk and a well placed comment, they were out each others lives altogether. He didn’t fight, she didn’t cry. They exchanged pleasantries and parted for good. They never belonged together in the first place, she finally understood and accepted that.

She never intended to go to Meanie’s the night she broke up with her boyfriend, she planned on heading home and sleeping off the emotional exhaustion. Of course she should’ve known that she was drawn to that dusty old record shop in ways she couldn’t name or explain. Late at night, her mind wandering to moments and memories lost, and she still found her way there. She stood outside the glass doors, some part of her wanting to turn around and save that discussion for another day. Wonwoo deserved thought, deserved time, while she knew her relationship with her boyfriend was a mistake it would’ve been a bigger mistake to rush into something new without stopping to think.

So maybe she wasn’t done making mistakes after all.

When the door dinged overhead, Wonwoo didn’t even look up and instead offered a robotic, “sorry, we’re closed. Come back tomorrow.”

“I know.” She smiled. “I was hoping to catch you before you left.”

Looking up with a start, his surly expression melted at the sight of her. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize it was you. What brings you here so late at night? Don’t you have class in the morning?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, I don’t really feel like going though.”

“That’s not a good attitude to have.” He chuckled quietly. “But I won’t turn you away, I’ll take every minute I can get.”

Thump.

“Sweet talker.” She mumbled. “Can I help at all? I don’t want to keep you.”

Pursing his lips, he looked around. “I’m—actually almost done. If you don’t mind waiting, that is.”

“You’re worth waiting for.” She let slip without realizing. “I mean—you’re the reason why I stopped by so it’s only fair that I wait for you.”

“Oh—right.” He hesitated, a light blush dusting across his cheeks. “I’ll be quick, promise.”

What the hell was that? She chastised herself. Wasn’t the plan to give him some time before you start confessing?

She knew what the answer was, she also knew that life didn’t always go as planned.

“I broke up with my boyfriend.” She suddenly blurted out moments later. “I just—thought you should know.”

He stopped stocking shelves to look at her, eyes wide with shock. “Is that what you came down here for? To tell me that?”

She nodded.

She could see the turmoil swimming in his eyes. He didn’t know what to do or what to say. In all fairness, neither did she. That left them motionless, frozen in time while their minds tried to process the impossible and make sense of their rapidly changing hearts.

“Mingyu can take care of this in the morning.” He suddenly muttered, grabbing the keys and pulling on his jacket. “Let’s go for a ride, it’ll probably do you some good to get your mind off of it.”

“Yeah.” She agreed. “Thank you, Wonwoo.”

He offered her a hesitant smile. “No need to thank me, I’m happy to help. Always.”

Her heart was racing, her mouth was dry and her mind empty. She didn’t know what was going to happen, she didn’t know what to expect. She simply followed Wonwoo just as she always would, she would follow him anywhere because he was the one person who reminded her of home. Of sitting on an old ratty couch, content with silence and being close. Where words meant nothing and music meant everything.

Their car ride was silent apart from the hum of the radio and the rattling of the engine. She didn’t pay much attention to it, opting instead to look out the window and watch the city disappear in a blur of lights. Where they were heading, she didn’t know and didn’t ask. She trusted Wonwoo, trusted him to know what she needed. He hadn’t failed her yet and she had no reason to believe that he would. Every now and then she would steal a glance in his direction but his gaze didn’t waver. He looked out into the night, watched asphalt vanish beneath tires and watched concrete turn into trees.

They stopped at the outskirts of town, so far away from the bustling city they called home that they could even see the stars spattered across the night sky. He exited the car first and didn’t wait for her to follow. He hopped up onto the hood of his car and leaned back against the glass with an arm tucked behind his head. She followed suit shortly, not bothering to question why he left the car running. Why he let a symphony of melodies fill their unyielding silence.

She sat beside him, knees pulled into her chest. She didn’t know what to say, what to do, she had never seen Wonwoo outside of the record shop and the mere thought was exhilarating. She wanted to see more of him, she wanted to spend her every waking minute with him because he understood her. His existence in her life wasn’t fleeting or temporary, Wonwoo had someone integrated himself into her life so seamlessly and perfectly that she barely noticed when it happened. She hadn’t realized until there was no turning back.

“Did you love him?” He asked suddenly, peering at her out of the corner of his eyes.

It was a loaded question, one she considered more than once in her time with him. She could’ve sworn that she did, the first few weeks were absolutely perfect, she was happy and he was happy and happiness was all that they needed. They didn’t care that they didn’t have anything in common, that their interests constantly kept them apart, for that brief moment in her life none of that mattered. Of course, in reality, it meant more than anything.

She wrapped her arms around her knees. “I think I was, at first. I don’t know what changed. I don’t know who started it or why, but suddenly I felt like I was dating a stranger.”

“I’m sorry.” He lamented sincerely. “That couldn’t have been easy for you.”

“No, it wasn’t.” She agreed. “I just—I’m not entirely sure I know what love is anymore. I was so certain of myself, of him, but maybe I never knew. Maybe I was in denial for so long that I created my own definition of love.”

“Well--everyone does that.” He said. “Love is never the same twice.”

She offered him a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”

“Love is—difficult.” He started. “Love is about endless possibilities, like anything can happen. Good and bad. It’s being hopelessly happy, terribly sad, horribly scared, and everything in between. Being in love isn’t perfect, it’s messy, it’s dirty, it’s sudden and chaotic, whirlwinds of feeling and moments that linger in every memory you share. Which is why I stand by the fact that love is always different.”

He paused to sit up straight.

“There’s different kinds of love too, and not a lot of people understand that. The love of being near someone, of hearing their voice, of understanding, the love of culture and intelligence. Love can be anything and that’s why it’s so powerful. I believe that love is something that you’ll never feel the same way twice. At least not forever because everyone feels those butterflies, feels like their stomach is about to leap out of their chest. But love is forever changing.

“Love is finding that one song and wanting to listen to it day after day. The idea of you being in love, wanting to see that person every day, is like that song you come back to no matter what. Each love stays with you in one way or another. It’s your whole life falling apart and not knowing which way’s up, which way’s down, but knowing where they are. And that feeling stays with you in one way or another. Whether you want it to or not.”

As she listened, soaking up everything that he said, she couldn’t help but think of the moments they spent together. How Wonwoo had been there for her through it all, how her whole world could turn upside down and she would be able to find him in her sleep. How she cherished each moment with him for a variety of different reasons, he made her feel safe, comfortable, understood and—loved. With his small gestures he made her feel like she could do anything.

So that’s what love is.

Pressing her palms into her eyes, she leaned back against his car and tried to calm down her chaotic thoughts. Whatever part of her wanted to wait, to be patient, to give Wonwoo the time and thought that he deserved had long since vanished. The only voice she could hear was the one begging her to kiss him. The selfish part of herself that she hated, the one she found herself listening to time and time again.

But it was Wonwoo who kissed her first, and therefore it wasn’t a mistake.

At first she pulled away in pure shock, his lips felt perfect against hers, almost too perfect. In that moment she wondered if she was actually dreaming, if the stars above them were nothing more than her rampant imagination and childish whims come to life. She watched his face fall in sadness, she could see the terrible thoughts rolling through his head.

None of which were true, so she indulged the selfish voice and made her last mistake.

She pulled him in close and kissed him harder and more fervently than she ever intended. Wonwoo was soft, warm, and she felt like a tornado in his arms. Her mind was reeling, fireworks dotted her vision as she fell further down the rabbit hole. Every decision she had made in the past three months brought her to this one perfect moment on an old car on a night where everything was going wrong and somehow falling into place all at the same time. When Wonwoo was the only thing she needed, the only thing she cared about.

But none of this was fair to him.

“Wait.” She clipped, scooting away from him and pressing the back of her hand to her mouth. “I’m—I don’t want to rush into this, I don’t—I’m not sure—“

“Not sure of what?” He asked breathlessly. “I think I’ve been pretty clear.”

She chuckled quietly. “You have, you really have. But—I need some time to think. I don’t—I don’t want this to end up the same way again. I don’t want you to be another thing I regret.”

He nodded and she tried not to notice the hurt in his eyes. “I guess I understand, it’s all pretty fresh still, isn’t it?”

“A little bit.” She agreed, her gaze falling to his lips again. “I didn’t even plan to come to Meanie’s tonight, I was going to go home and think things over before seeing you again.”

“I can’t say I’m mad at how things turned out.” He smirked. “Still, if you want to think, you think away. Can I take you home at least?”

“Of course.” She smiled with a sigh. “Thank you, Wonwoo for being, well, for being you. And for being there.”

His eyes softened as he pulled her into a hug. “Anytime.”

There was no awkwardness between them as he drove her home. The silence was palpable but they were used to it. Silence with Wonwoo was always a comfort so there was no need to fill it with senseless ramblings. He dropped her off and waved goodbye as if nothing had ever happened between them. That’s perhaps what she liked most about him. He didn’t question her decisions, he could see where she was coming from and accepted her stance on the matter. Wonwoo was, for all intents and purposes, one of the kindest people she had ever met.

And she loved him.

Her decision came easily, she knew the moment she laid beside him that her heart belonged to him and him alone. But she needed some time to make sure that her decision wouldn’t change. Three days passed and she could only think of him and fevered kisses underneath the stars. The thought of seeing him again made her heart flutter. The longer she stayed away, the faster her pulse raced. Her body knew her answer long before she wanted to admit it, perhaps since she first met him.

I love him.

When she was sure she hailed a cab and paid the driver extra to speed all the way there. She had to see Wonwoo, had to, like the sun needed the moon. Her heart was thundering in her chest but it didn’t faze her. Nothing could stop her, she burst through the door to Meanie’s and didn’t stop to even acknowledge Mingyu or Soonyoung. She only had one thing on her mind, one purpose, and nothing was going to distract her.

Except, he wasn’t there. His desk was empty, his office eerily silent, and there was no sign of him. He was always at Meanie’s, always, she didn’t care that he was a living breathing human with a living breathing life, he was always there. There was nowhere else he could be, at least—none that she knew of. Her heart started to sink and she almost lost hope.

Almost.

She heard a rustling sound behind her and suddenly something toppled into her. A box of papers and such scattered across the ground, she followed suit, as did who/whatever knocked her over in the first place. She laid there motionless with a heavy weight on top of her and a warm breath on her face. She could feel her chest pounding, theirs was too. And a pair of black eyes she had lost herself in stared back at her.

“Hey.”

It was Wonwoo.

“Hey.” She returned with a breathless smile. “You busy?”

“For you?” He questioned. “Never.”

She pulled him down for a kiss she’d been carving for days, weeks even. He happily indulged her, smiling against her willing lips and searing her soul with every word he wanted to say to her but feared to admit. She meant to tell him the truth, to confess her true feelings so there wasn’t any room to doubt. She had learned that things didn’t always go as planned, and she was happy with the alternative they both faced.

“I love you.” He said suddenly, pulling away and pressing his forehead to hers. “And I know that the timing sucks and I really shouldn’t say it but—I can’t hold it in any longer. I don’t care if you don’t feel the same way, it’s something that needs to be said. I love you. I really really love you.”

While she didn’t mean to, she laughed. “Of course I feel the same way, aren’t you supposed to be a Wizard or something? Shouldn’t you know this already?”

Pressing a chaste kiss to her lips, he smiled. “I’d rather hear it then guess, if I’m perfectly honest.”

“Okay.” She lamented. “I love you, Wonwoo. No more guessing.”

“No more guessing.” He agreed. “I think I can get used to that.”

“Oh this is a sight for sore eyes.”

Startled, Wonwoo rolled off of her to see Mingyu and Soonyoung standing over them. The former looked as chipper as ever, the latter seemed to be sporting a disappointed scowl.

“Alright Soonyoung, pay up.” Mingyu goaded, an open hand to his friend. “Told you they were into each other.”

“I didn’t doubt that.” He mumbled back. “I just assumed that Wonwoo wouldn’t have done a damn thing about it.”

She was blushing, so was Wonwoo.

“Well, he did.” She clarified, cheeks reddening by the second. “And I’m forever grateful for it.”

As Soonyoung regretfully stuffed several bills into Mingyu’s hand, Mingyu cast her a chastising glance. “I hope le douchebag is out of your life, otherwise I have to rescind my excitement.”

“We broke up.” She confirmed. “No need to worry about that.”

“Good!” Mingyu exclaimed. “So—where does that leave you?”

Unsure of how to answer, she simply looked at Wonwoo. For whatever reason he started laughing and she followed soon after. She didn’t know what he found funny, but what she found hilarious was that every mistake she made since she first discovered Meanie’s boiled down to one fact: