#*nbchannibal

Hello, amazing Anon! 

I have! Quite often, lately. The SPN muse has not been visiting, and I’ve been wondering if I can spend my creative energies elsewhere. Honestly, what I should be doing is editing one of the two  original fiction novels that need editing. One of them also needs... well, to actually be finished. I actually rewrote a significant chunk of the first scene the other day and am a bit happier with it now.

I would like to write for other actual fandoms, too, but I’m slightly terrified, for various reasons:

Nirvana in Fire: Ohhhhhhhh man, this freaking show. There are no words. There really aren’t. On the one hand, it’s nearly so freaking good (though a bit slow to get started) that I can’t even fathom needing to “fix” anything, and there’s so much in-show visceral pain and suffering and hurt/comfort that I hardly need to add more. It would be so cool to write something for it... but I am completely unfamiliar with terminology related to the culture and costumes and social expectations of slightly-fantasy-esque ancient China, so. I’m terrified I would Do Something Wrong and that has kept me from writing any sort of fiction yet... but I want to.

Hannibal: Fittingly, Hannibal is keeping me from writing fic for this fandom. I think I’ve finally sort of mentally mastered his cadence and word choice and feel relatively confident that I could write his voice, but I know literally nothing about good food and high society. That, at the very least, could be a roadblock and would require a significant chunk of research (or deft avoidance).

Merlin: I’ve actually considered it, and feel relatively sort of confident-ish that I might be able to write something for it... but it’s been long enough since I watched it that canon is a bit hazy and writing anything would require a rewatch.

Daredevil, MCU, and other fandoms: Awaiting inspiration.

OH MY GOSH. Yes. Yes, I adore him. I watched the whole show by myself, then promptly rewatched it twice by introducing my sister and dad to it. And you’re so right! Will and Sam have an unbelievable amount of things in common, though the way those beliefs about themselves are nurtured and developed ends up being quite different. But they have so much in common and I need to scream about it, so—

Both Sam and Will recognize something in themselves that they deem “evil.” It affects their self-perceptions and the way they form attachments. Sam believes his psychic abilities (especially once he discovers what, exactly, awakened them) to be evidence of some evil or wrongness inside of him. Both John and Dean, no matter how much they might try to support him, both fear that to be the truth, so neither can help him. Will’s unique ability to empathize with even especially warped minds makes him believe that he is also somehow twisted. (Hannibal, of course, fascinated by his especially rare new buddy, doesn’t really tell him otherwise, poor Will… :D). 

Both Sam and Will have very limited and often surface level connections to other people because of those feelings about themselves, whether because their connections to people lead to those people being brutally murdered (Sam, mostly) or because their personalities and abilities make it difficult to form meaningful attachments, either because of the type of people who seek them out or because of the restrictions they place on themselves because of their self-image.

They’re both sassy little shits. Admittedly, Will takes this to a wonderful extreme because of how very few fucks he gives about what other people think, while Sam’s doe-eyed empathy with witnesses and his need to perform good so that he can feel good tamps down on the sass, at least until he literally doesn’t have a soul and thus doesn’t have any moral compunctions about verbally cutting people off at the knees.

They both, as mentioned above, feel an intense need to perform good deeds to act as a counterbalance to their “darkness”—or at least their perceived darkness. Will won’t quit his job consulting with the FBI even though it is literally shredding his mental health, and Sam will drive himself to death and beyond to atone for his imagined sins.

Both have unshakable beliefs, and they’ll act against their own desires to be in line with those beliefs. Will fares a bit better in the self-image part of this, perhaps. He was able to believe himself capable of murder thanks to some highly emotional circumstances (and very convincing evidence), but it didn’t take long for him to advocate for his own innocence and take concrete steps forward. Sam, on the other hand, unfortunately has such a crappy view of himself that it’s remarkably easy to make him take responsibility for things he wasn’t at fault for. Despite all that, when it comes to others (let’s just specify innocents), both Sam and Will can be quite firm.