#*mines

six times Druig was caught with his mouth full

BONUS:

 You turning into a Terry McMillan character.

62 starters feel free to change gender pronouns

“If you didn’t make us walk, we wouldn’t be soaked.”

“You can explore Hell, you dog turd.”

“Our brains so hate the idea of losing something that’s valuable to us that we abandon all rational thought, and we make some really poor decisions.”

“You know what? You can order your own.”

“The universe has spoken. It wants you over there.”

“Does something have to be wrong for me to call?”

“What was that look? I saw that.”

“These pajamas are fancier than any of my real clothes.”

“So your family is, like, rich?”

“I just think it’s kind of weird that I had no idea.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I don’t know why you bother trying to hide your shopping from me. You can buy whatever you want.”

“Stay in bed.”

“How can I resist? You put those glasses on on purpose.”

“You’re such a sweet-talker.”

“Make sure you eat it all. ‘Cause I’m watching you.”

“Tonight, you need to not look like Sebastian from The Little Mermaid. You know, the little crab guy.”

“Wow… I think I’ve just fallen in love with you all over again.”

“Yeah, I’ll fucking come to dinner!”

“You have a cocktail dress in you trunk?”

“I’m not an animal, _____.”

“You know, when you said you grew up in your grandma’s house, I didn’t expect this.”

“Can I punch him in the face? Just once.”

“You’ve been away too long.”

“We love any excuse to throw a soiree.”

“Never could get anything past you, could I?”

“You know, I thought I would like that more than I did.”

“Is it just me or are people, like, staring at me?”

“This is for you, asshole.”

“You don’t have to keep _____ happy. She’s just lucky to be here.”

“No one loves free stuff more than rich people.”

“You know, if it wasn’t for _____, I’d ask you to marry me.”

“_____, I’ve known you since you were in nappies. Something’s on your mind.”

“I’m not gonna make a scene. I’m not gonna give them the satisfaction.”

“Why would _____ even have friends like that? So mean.”

“I thought I was here to meet your family, go to your best friend’s wedding, eat some good food. Instead, I feel like I’m a villain in some soap opera who’s plotting to steal your family fortune.”

“You have every reason to be upset.”

“You will never be enough.”

“She looked at me like I was nothing.”

“I feel like I shouldn’t even go to the wedding.”

“And I would throw in a Korean snail face mask. Sweetie, your skin is so dry, it’s hurting my face.”

“You look like a flower. A sad, lonely flower no one wants to be around.”

“You kind of look like a slutty ebola virus.”

“I know you’re having an affair.”

“You’d rather I scream and carry on?”

“Don’t try and turn this on me. I’m not the one who screwed up!”

“I’m tired of it. I’m tired of having nothing I do matter.”

“Family never says thank you.”

“I don’t want any part in your family.”

“Don’t chase after her and degrade yourself. I forbid it.”

“If you go with her, you can’t come back!”

“_____. Come to breakfast. You need to eat. Or use the bathroom, or maybe a shower. It’s there if you need it.”

“I mean, did you ever think about… trying to talk to him? Do you still think about him?”

“Everything that happened in my past life is the reason I got you.”

“I really thought he was the one.”

“You know it’s not just my fault that things didn’t work out.”

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have kept things from you.”

“But I just realized, it’s not my job to make you feel like a man. I can’t make you something you’re not.”

“You have no one, no net worth, but you have integrity. That’s why I respect you.”

“God, don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“I always imagined what me proposing to you would be like. You know what? I had it all planned out.”

Jahking Guillory as Coogie Johnson