ok well i'm back from work and re: this substack post i've been thinking about it a lot. it was super relatable & dare i say validating (hate how the saturation of that word has made it feel cringey to use but whatever) for the first couple paragraphs like her first paragraph could be represented by the phrase "i'm not aromantic but i believe in their beliefs". but i think the wording of "i wasn't put on this earth to love" still grates me a little because it's still using the word "love" in the romantic love context. like this quote:
is first of all such a stick-y quote like one of the main sentences that was still in my brain after finishing reading, however the effects of love's absence / having a relationship as mentioned here is super different depending on how you personally define love. for me personally if i didn't have love from/for various friends and family and community over the years i certainly would not be living a rich life i would be in the trenches and depressed. but i love the life i have without a romantic relationship and without the constant mental load of trying to find one, which imo is what she probably meant with this.
All this to say: although the essay was definitely clear about what type of love/relationship was being discussed, i feel like if you're at this point/state of thinking about romantic love (this = the pov laid out in the substack, not aromantic but believe in their beliefs etc) you might as well just take the next step & start redefining what love means to you and how to involve it in your life. i have lately been enjoying this definition kindly relayed to me through All About Love by bell hooks, it's definitely helping me be more thoughtful about all my relationships and be a more active participant in some of them!
